Tuesday, September 29, 2009

The fat fucks !!!

So my girlfriend convinced me into getting a 1 room apartment so we are looking for apartments now, we went yesterday to see one at the 10th floor in one block. We met with 2 ladies which took us to see the apartment, to get to the 10th floor we had to take the elevator by turn 1st me + my girlfriend and the other 2 ladies separately because they were so ginormous, I was about to tell them that a walk up to the 10th floor would help them get a hearth attack and spare us with their unpleasant presence. Once at the 10th floor more fat fucks joined us from other apartments so we had the 2 fat ladies + 1 hairy fat boar which insisted to tell us jokes about apartments ( he was lucky he had a good flow and I could not interrupt him with my best sweaty pig joke )+ 1 fat wife with her eyes popped out + 1 50 kg 7 year old kid, I felt like I was a Slim Fast sales agent preaching about diets based on chocolate and stakes for the bloby crowd. There we were in the pig stall when I had this brilliant business idea, based on the "before and after" pictures showed on the teleshopping channels I will open "The before picture model agency" and make my models eat until they look like Jabba the Hut, even made yesterday my 1st shoot in collaboration with an agency called "Heroic Freak Finder" check out the result:

The apartment was a mess, the balcony felt like it was about to fall, the parquet was complaining about the owners weight, the walls had water infiltration marks ... so we started to complain about this stuff in hope they will drop the price but no they started to bitch around about the great investment with this apartment and the real estate value in the area, anyway I told them my opinion about the value of their 10th floor shit hole. On our way out the fat boar showed us how to use the elevator without closing the doors in hope we will appreciate his extreme ( fat ) style and since he showed me a trick I wanted to show him my trick but its complexity made me not pass my knowledge to him instead I will draw a scheme called "cheapest way to kill 5 fat fucks" ... check it out:

Well I just told everybody that I'm not fat people friendly especially wise ass fat people, if you get fat because you eat more than enough and don't get any exercise you will die, if you are fat already and try to lose weight you will fail ... if you don't fail you are welcomed in my exclusive anti obesity club.
The reality is that I'm just frustrated that in order to get an apartment I have to visit all sorts of shady places with odd owners.

/late for work ... bye !

No comments:

Post a Comment