Knobbing about

Ahhh lovely its that time of the year when families come together near the dead tree (which by the way stings like a motherfucker), sing carols, everybody talks at the same time and all of the sudden this eggnog driven cheerful family decides to unwrap the presents. How pretty is everything wrapped, how neat are Santa's elves (why did my auto correct change Santa into Satan ?). We start unwrapping, a drunk voice shouts from the other side of the room "just rip the damn wrapping paper, you can't use it again anyway, you stingy worm !", my wife insists to buy nice presents for everybody, by nice I mean expensive, I don't mind buying something nice if I know I will get something equally nice in exchange but usually its not the case. She made a lot of fuss about the presents this year, we bought nice things together and I bought some nice things for her ... guess what I ended up with a fucking shaver, the classic oversize pajama and some sort of sock I can wear on my head. Its not fair after all the hassle, sitting in traffic, queuing, cleaning and generally being a nice lad for Satan (it did it again, santanist tablet !) to end up with a sock I can wear on my head, for fucks sake ! Honestly I can't be bothered next year, a pair of socks a mug which says "Happy Hanukkah" and a cassette with carols, they better pretend they love my gift !
On the 2nd day of Christmas we visited some relatives and somehow they don't seem to understand that I don't like to drink, again I'll have a drink with people I like but not with them, because me being drunk is me making unpleasant comments and having a disorderly laugh by myself, friends would understand they wont.
Today being the last one of 2011 we prepare for the new years eve and we are going to this spa with some people my wife knows and I'm not really happy to mingle with. It will pass soon enough 00:00 happy new year bla bla yeeay (indifferent face) ... go home, done. Texting or sending out messages bothers me the most, people send me a lot of them, I'm never in the mood to do it and it pisses me off that by receiving text messages I feel obliged to answer in the same manner, cheerful words and rubbish like that. Whats wrong with people sending text messages ? if you want me to be happy send something over, invite us to your shindig, come over if you are a girl or send your girlfriend or wife to rub me one for the sake of that particular holiday, you know so I can see you meant it !
I had this week off work and plenty time to do what I want alone at home, amongst other things I got to read a book called "Earth (the book)", the guy who wrote it (Jon Stewart) was taking a piss at the by then extinct human race, aliens would read a guide we left behind which approached various topics like religion, society and stuff. Another thing I realized while having a walk is that dogs like to take a shit in clean and dry spots, the weather was miserable huge puddles everywhere and I was walking on the curb for being higher and cleaner except the curbs have piles of dog shit all over them.

Yeah well this is it for 2011, I don't know what to say lets hope things will turn out fine for everybody.

Willie Nelson - "Superman" from Luck Films on Vimeo.

Where the nut trees grow

How is it that the crème de la scum hangs out in the same places in every town/city ? Never seen a train station without homeless persons, beggars or freaks escaped from the circus. Have you ever seen a farmers market without those fashion failures (cowboy boots, tight dirty jeans, tucked in shirt exposing chest hair and the occasional rib, gold necklace with a $ medallion, rings on each finger, mullet and gold teeth) lurking around for a deal ? I would talk about cemeteries also but I'm quite sure no hobo or creepo would try to make a living around a cemetery in any other country because I'm certain no widow would bring cheese cake in the cemetery to feed the homeless, its true we don't have to many crazy cat ladies nor obsessed pigeon feeders but its customary to feed beggars and bums ... lets be honest now ! we are a dog loving nation, cats are pretty much extinct and the pigeons, well they are delicious. How can a generous soul make charity in these conditions ? feed cheesecake to the homeless !
Back to the hot spots, yes ! its understandable they try to make a living there because its crowded and everything but for fucks sake don't let them sleep in the waiting area, some are really well disguised as travellers (hauling around huge bags full of stuff) and how can you kick out a traveller waiting for his train ?
- I'm a traveller mother fuckers ! there's no showering and washing machines in travelling, I'm the original globetrotter ! homeless my ass ! please sir can you spare some change? the atm won't accept my american express black card !
Serious business with these globetrotters, they seem to miss each train and in addition they try to out stink each other, biohazard warfare, students tried to rebel against Gillette agreeing upon a no shave November ... tsss kids. This might be a part of how society works, place a bunch of actors in front of each train station and pay them to act "the aristocrats" joke:

Imagine seeing this in front of the train or bus station (its not far from the truth)? The other day I was talking with a fat friend of mine, he is also a movie maker known as Michael Moore about this idea of mine, this everything might be a corporatist idea in order to prevent the labour migration, disgust the adventurous worker form the moment he enters the public transportation station, don't provide decent restrooms the good old hole in the ground is enough if you miss it at least wear brown trousers (closed shoes are suggested), the transport means are kept running for the illusion of freedom but are uncomfortable and stink ... all this in order to prevent people from getting the wrong idea while visiting their parents.
The same story goes for the markets also, it can't be that nasty for its meant to sell food and such but the mullet dealer will harass any potential customer making the place uncomfortable and drive the sheep towards the corporatist super markets.
Markets, train stations are dusty smell bad, if you want to meet a nice lady you need to drive to the outskirts of your city at some dodgy parking lot for trucks that's not fun ! Why not live in a park in a pretty place like I do, I sell drugs in a night club, at least as a tosser there I get to wear perfume and my teeth have a sexy shine in the black light.
For a great lust packed drug and alcohol driven experience please check out one of my new favourite TV shows called simply but so elegant "Skins", make sure to avoid the US version just get the original UK one. After this nothing will seem out of line trust me.
So Christmas is about to happen again lets listen to something nice from my personal stash:


mneh ...