Ye old fuckhead !

Imagine the life of a normal family in the middle ages, blind love for the maker or get burned on the stake, no card tricks or get burned on the same stake for witchcraft, no anal, oral or naked sex or you'll burn in hell, children playing with fallen limbs of the plague victims, mothers cooking disgusting stews with bat eyes, lamb guts, worn leather boots and dirt, fathers building castles for the king get paid with a monthly public whipping. Times were hard, people were hungry, sick with diarrhea from drinking mud water, cold, the everlasting tooth ache kept them in a persistent gloomy swing. A normal family in our days, TV, video games, a patch of green lawn, a consistent dose of ignorance regarding belief and environment, fast food, kids smoking weed, mothers hiding an obvious alcohol problem or fucking the neighbor, fathers balancing cans of beer on their fat stomachs while eating chips and watching the game. Good times plenty of food without to much effort, medical care, protective layers of fat, the only predators around are diabetes, heart attacks and our own weight. Yeah we made it to the top of the food chain ! These are the normal families back then and now ... lets talk about the wealthy or royal families. Back then the wealthy or the royal were quite the shit, orgies, arsenic, feasts, gout, corruption, political games, mistresses, bastard children, incest, portraits on white horses, forced marriages ... the very definition of the nobility. Today's nobility is all about appearance, etiquette, class, style, expensive rare food, fancy gymnastics, unique vehicles, entourage, family pride, private learjets, extravagant activities like hunting and here is were I'm going to stop and unleash my furry. Hunting is absolutely ok with me if its done for food like the family in the middle ages would do it with bow and arrow or spear, track your prey become a proper hunter kill a squirrel or a deer, put it in the pot, eat it, survive ! The same story with fishing, its acceptable to use a rod and a hook, eat the fish if you must or release it, but don't use fucking nets or explosives ... its just unfair. A few weeks ago I've seen the king of Spain, Juan fuckhead Carlos a 74 years old geezer got injured while hunting in Africa. The old fart busted his arthritis rotten hip, triple fracture combo, guess what ? he was hunting elephants. Hunting elephants ? how much of a sick inbred senile royal shit faced old fuck you have to be to take pleasure in killing such majestic and beautiful endangered creatures just for fun. Go online ! play some counterstrike from your royal office through your royal broadband, complain like a bitch about lag and wall hax after getting headshot, scratch your eyeballs out and die of rage motherfucker ! He was lucky, too bad an elephant didn't stomp his face in. Stick to your fucking bulls, GROW and kill as many you like, have them chase you through the streets and then kill them nobody cares. I'm not some vegan messiah but where is the fun of putting a bullet in an unaware animal from a safe distance, farm animals are meant to be slaughtered for food, I gladly eat my beef, chicken and pork. This Spanish chap is just one of the many examples of doughy idiots who consider themselves men for shooting down a stupid animal with some handcrafted expensive riffle. I wish I could be so rich and powerful and arrange the biggest safari hunting event in the known universe, have the hot shot wealthy hunters invited, drive them in the fucking savanna, leave them surrounded by hungry wild beast, without bullets and just to make sure nobody manages to escape have a tactical squad hunt them and trap the way out. /bow

Fail proof future

Dreams, old dreams, childhood dreams might not work the way they were imagined far away in the past for today's grownup. Had, still have plenty of them (next in line my bucket list for the next 10 years, rubbish I'd like to sort out) but how many of them still stand, am I still happy with most of them ? I don't think so, something needs to be done ... imagine me entering my field of dreams as a deranged half communist jerk with a sickle in the hand chopping down anything which doesn't fit my thoroughly tuned selective program. Blood guts and gore, the rusty sickle chops tirelessly, I'm not falling again for one of my old dreams, if I'm not fully happy with the end result it gets chopped the fuck out (or canceled), just imagine ending up owning this stupid object:

actually it doesn't sound that bad, still it has a great potential for being a stupid thing, after all I've got this in my head ever since my kindergarten attendance. Turned out that my brave and old dream of moving out in a far away country without any legal forms, as a tourist who decided to stay wasn't so neato as I thought it would be. Perhaps my expectations were to high, perhaps I wasn't expecting to see beggars, hobos, junky deadbeat couples, frightening neighborhoods maybe these things make it the wild vest. As time passed things added up, something inside me was screaming and definitely I couldn't be bothered into investing time into it nor make any sort of plans, got so disappointed with the entire story I locked myself into some sort of protective force field (maybe I was feed up for being told that I've got to much spare time for reading/watching/listening random stuff I'm interested in, at some point I didn't even bother yap yap background noise) just waited for the time to pass, get on the plane and fly the fuck away from that place. My dear and much beloved cousins who were so happy for having me there couldn't understand whats the deal with my permanently long face and I couldn't explain it either, they were quite disappointed with me. What looked like an awesome thing to do as a student doesn't sound good at all right now and I wouldn't fancy working as a fucking earth shaman on the other side of the planet. Anyway I enjoyed my visit there as a tourist, seen some really nice places, had some nice food and enough delicious fast food which should suffice for the next 5 years. Based on this experience amongst many other things I learned that an "action plan" update is needed once in a while. So after 10 pounds lost or as I prefer it 5 kilograms our departure date has come and somehow after the 1st 2 hour flight towards our destination I felt awesome again, I could feel my nice aura of badassery handsomeness growing back, while taking a majestic dookie in the airport restroom I was listening to the awesome announcements they were broadcasting:
"Mr. Catslinger you're expected for boarding on gate whatever"
"Ms. O'Balls wank meeting in the conference hall"
who is called Catslinger or better yet who the fuck understands those announcements ?
Home and dry as they say, lets check Mr. Marley's new song out this time featuring the mop head known as Skrillex:


Genug mit dem rum ficken, ich gehe schlafen !