Hookers will be hooking

By means of extraterrestrial forces I've been caught in the relationship crisis vortex of some people my wife calls friends. Somehow my wife got attached to this colleague of hers, never understood why but for a period I was forced to hang out with her and her many boyfriends which couldn't make it trough high school. Each time she broke up with one of them she quickly managed to find a replacement, each time this happened my wife was happy to bring these dandy novelties to my knowledge. Same story over and over again:
"you know she met this guy, he is really great, he is so kind and talks so gentle with her, he brought her a sandwich at the pharmacy today, he likes hiking and skiing just like you do, we need to go out with them so that you can meet him"
I must admit it I felt for this trickery to often, we went out, I got to meet the new guy, "look Andi he likes hiking just like you do" (frankly I don't give a shit about anyone's hobbies) amazing ! I'm glad for you new dude who likes to hike, your name is more than enough for the 1st forced contact, I use to forget their names anyway. With no exception the new dudes loves to get into a dick measuring contest with me (just like 2 dogs which met for the 1st time on the playground and play the "who's the alpha mutt" game) talks loud and plenty, makes references to his awesome friends, big money topics are never avoided. Gently but surely I like to guide the conversation towards our jobs and employer ... oh well this is were I get an idea about what kind of people I'm dealing with and even if you are a poet being a driver or a night guard can't be sweetened up. So basically that's her league, van drivers for some construction companies and night guards I've seen now a few of her boyfriends and all had this type of job. Right know we are facing a horrible break up story on one side and a fresh romance on the other side, while the left boyfriend calls us desperately trash talking my wife's colleague she invites us to meet the knew stud in her stable, I'm pretty feed up with this drama. The left one considers he is the victim and in a desperate attempt to win our friendship (I don't know why, my signs are pretty clear to fuck off) he pours poison in my ears and occasionally tells me some crap his bitch of an two faced ex-lover thinks about me, my wife and our marriage. This sounds like a mexican soapi staring 1 twisted to much make up wearing cunt, rabidly neurotic ex boyfriend, a new white trash van driver and the couple which makes an appearance once each season on the Christmas episode playing the better family. I got to grew up with different kind of people some were like the sun you couldn't watch them without sun glasses because they were brilliant, normal people, looking like whip cream chocolate cake but tasted like fermented manure kind(and the other way around)and obviously the "not worth my time" envy filled haters, due to my overwhelming experience with people its pretty easy to see whats behind the shit load of make up, she will get a t-shirt which says “Sympathy one receives for nothing, envy must be earned.” She probably wont get the allusion but I will enjoy it because I'm awesome and still feel the need to improve myself, envy update ftw.
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The fucked up part above had to be documented to make sure I won't forget my ideas but now something awesome:
The Red Hot Chili Peppers will release at the end of this month called "I'm with you", I posted the new single on my previous intervention, looking forward to listen to the entire album. More stellar news ! we bought an iPad 2 which I fancy, still need to buy an epic noise-canceling headset from AKG, which are badass.
Now look at this guy, he doesn't give a crap