As you probably figured it out already I live in a 2,5 world country (not 3rd world country because you can actually see obese people around, you know they're rich if they're fat) and trying to make the best living as possible here and take advantage of everything, the County Council opened a few bicycle tracks around the town I live in, stellar idea ! OK I got a go a couple of weeks ago on one of the tracks, fancied it and asked my lazy wife to join me (not work shy lazy but running after a ball lazy) next time. We went together today, nice autumn weather, nice forest, after we managed to get over the uphill part of the trail we had a great downhill ride ahead ... but after a few hundred meters the path was blocked by a fuckload of sheep, I went 1st and asked my wife to keep close, suddenly out of nowhere 4 shepherd dogs started to bark and chase me, I'm not really scared of dogs but I'm not comfortable with 4 ginormous white canines of death chasing me, what the holly trinity of swear words should I do ? pedal my way the fuck out ? get of my bike and fight them with my bad breath ? ... instructed my wife to follow me, made sure all 4 mutts were following me and I went absolutely mental full speed charging any dog in my way and also kicking any of them attempting to take a bite out of my boots. They chased me a while and stopped then I looked back if my wife was there ... of course she thought that if all 4 of them were chasing me why should she keep close and make a getaway together, right now I was so damn pissed I took a heavy piece of wood shaped like a katana and went back with the intention to kill those fucking dogs and the shepherd, fuck it its self defence, he lets lose his aggressive dogs on a public hiking trail, I will shove a piece of wood full of splints up his ass. After a while my wife came towards me, riding her bicycle like she just came from the flower market and she was like why did you pedalled so fast ?.... bloody hell !!! because If I had stopped to check my mascara those dogs would have probably given me a violent nose and butt cheeks jobs. Anyway I'm glad we came out unharmed, obviously she got scared and scared + stupid = freeze, thanks God the dogs came after me and not after her, she only weights 44 kg (you can tell we are not rich).
Now back to the shepherds, the dogs are innocent honestly, they bark and bite for a living, but here is the catch, I will kill any dog trying to bite or kick my ass, and most likely I will torture anyone which lets loose his mental ill dog, no bullshit !syringe pit (saw) style !
Right now I'm thinking to announce the police and let them know that an illiterate retard has 4 titanium teeth psycho dogs walking freely on a public track. From now on I will carry with me a can of bear mace, spray the living will out of the dogs and go after the jerk who feeds them. Glad I managed to take a few pictures from our trip, enjoy:
afternoon sleep on!
Make me home sick. There is no real hiking here, well at least not like up those mountains. And no shepherds, too. So, you better enjoy.
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