Here I am ! about to sleep my last days in my parents house before moving in my fly apartment. I'm kinda having trouble sleeping at night thinking about having to do everything by myself, gotta be mentally disabled to move away form perfect 7 star hotel living conditions. Not even a seven star hotel can offer so much benefits like my parents house,if I was to give away 1 star / benefit Aladin's palace in Saudi Arabia would look like a joke. All hotels offer the same crap like:
- laundry, also got it at home with a guarantee that my shirt is not washed along with some Arabs stinky underwear
- food served at the table or in bed, my mom does this for me ... she wont spit in my burger
- great panorama, brushing my teeth each morning admiring a beautiful hill covered with thick forest and singing birds bring me fresh spring water to wash me face.
- fighting/martial arts events, my neighbor fights his Moldavian son in law on a regular basis ... sometimes that Moldavian tramp gets on my nerves also but Doru kicks his ass, yep Doru the neighborhood legend is my champ
- kinky strip shows, I promised some window shaver pics didn't I ... here they are, cant find the video tough :
she also does feet behind neck yoga moves to reach those hard accessible areas, but this is not a porn site ... a little bit of tease should be enough for a wank.
- freak shows, just have to go downstairs and I've got a weirdo circus, even made a poster for them:
form left to right: grandpa freak ( awesome stache dude ), daddy freak ( he only likes beer ), little girl freak ( her head will explode, air traffic will get shut down due to a cloud of no future ), mum ( no job + no period + no birth control = freak accident ... wondering about the baby )
- concierge, there is always somebody in front of the door, whether its an old neighbor with a broken hip or a gypsy man wearing heels, somebody is always there.
- internet connection, without any firewalls or "moral block"
Basically all respectable hotels should have this kind of services but which one would offer them for free ?
No worries I've planned some great activities for the new place also, thinking about opening up a knitting and a pastry shop. My future neighbors will be delighted, I mean the old but still golden babes will have to do work which they enjoy doing without money. A relaxed schedule like 3 hours / day would be enough, they could bake and knit till they go crazy. Almost forgot 3 hours of sleep that is, don't try to fool me on signing a confusing contract you old hoes !
Can't believe how much crap I wrote again, just listen to the new Slash album, if you're asking yourself who the fuck is Slash better think about who the fuck are you.
Also eat a sack of oranges each day and watch Cheech And Chong.
/done
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