A wedding on the nightmare street !

Like previously announced I will make some pleasant and some unpleasant comments about what was my ... our wedding. My wife lived her entire life just for that day, she and her family planned almost everything, while me and my family were kinda pushed to the side, my mother suffered in silence a few days, my father and I ... we didn't care to much. With a month before the great event we were told that a wedding planner had to step in in order to straighten the shit up, we got to meet her and we got to talk about our preferences regarding the upcoming event. I've made it clear from the start, I'm not hot for following bullshit testicle grinding traditions, 1st because I hate useless traditions invented by some menopausal goiter ill lesbians from hell; 2nd because I'm afraid of fainting, I use to faint as a self defense technique which I've learned from a kung fu goat. The wedding planner was slightly surprised about how low profile I want everything to be, no chocolate fountain (these are vomitingly gross), no fireworks, no cheap bands (I would've loved to have the Stooges and Iggy Pop), no soap bubbles machine, no leprechauns, no narwhals ... basically no bollocks !!! She asked me if I was a rocker ... what the fuck lady ? do you do special weddings for rockers ? these were just a few questions which ran trough my mind instead I told her I'm an example of modesty and known for my good taste in almost everything (my tears taste awful, taste like purple eyes, smashed molars and fractured skulls combined)and as you might have already figured out I was not a fan.
As time passed the inevitable happened and believe me I enjoyed every moment, my lets say mother in law got in a clinch with the wedding planer and man that was awesome the poor lady had to do her job but under the strict iron fist supervision and that made the result driven self motivated wedding mastermind to calm the fuck down.
My only job was to hand out the wedding invitations(self made and awesome) and of course swallow the pathetic excuses some had for not showing up ... uhm you know I would love to come to your wedding but I'm planning to get a prostate exam ! thank you oh holly deity ! my scum bag of an office colleague had to get a lobotomy in that particular day.
The bride and the groom need to ask another two couples to become their God parents (traditions right?), ever since I know myself I wanted to pick a couple which I really admire and I managed to do that and .... they accepted ! hurray ! my ex office colleague she is one of the smartest and coolest woman I know and to top that she is a doctor in hydraulic engineering, her husband is a very pleasant/funny/great to talk to/ happy to advise/ entrepreneurship enthusiastic/ planning on retiring as a wealthy playboy ... words are not enough, great people ! My wife chose her cousin and her husband and she is more than welcome to talk about them on her own blog.
Fast forward to the day ! Sunday morning, very warm, we were expecting everybody to come over and take part to the wedding ... I was so relaxed until I saw my God parents and a few friends at the door ... it was on ! oh shit! oh shit! I got really nervous and sweaty, my heart started to beat faster and faster, drinks, pictures, more sweat ... I was about to call everything off, I would've rather went for a swim in a nearby lake than getting married. So with a knot in my stomach and a carrot up my ass we all went to get the bride, more family there more best wishes, more cheek kisses, more drinks ... the bride was ready and the groom with his family had to go and wait for her to the church without seeing the bride. Once we arrived at the church more friends were there and I felt like a demon possessed 14 year old girl which is about to get exorcised by the Vatican all star team. I had pain in my chest, I was dizzy, I was thirsty, finally my mother walked me to the altar shortly the bride followed, I never liked brides they creep me out but there she was, this one was one of the most beautiful one I've ever seen but still I couldn't forget my physical and emotional condition. Now here is something I despise, a groom can't see his bride in the wedding dress before the wedding because it brings bad luck, well fuck this ! fuck the jerk who invented this shit, I almost fainted because I didn't knew whats coming for me. The priest did his part very well he was quick and funny. At the restaurant the usual deal some drink their brains away and plan to walk home even if they live 50km away, others dance without interruption, some steal my wife and make me do a funny dance to bring her back .... well been there done that got the T-shirt, I wont repeat it again, check out some tweaked pics:




So that's about it two trolls got married !
Funny thing is that everybody asks if something changed between us after the weeding, I would say yes it did, somehow we can't agree on our future steps in life and it pisses me off that she has nothing planned, no dreams nothing to reach for and has this negative attitude towards my well intentioned plans. Before we used to keep our private shit private now we talk about it with various characters and I don't like it. Don't know what to say hope the situation wont degenerate into something ugly.
Here baby this is for you:

Don't ruin everything !

Ok maybe I'm a bit dramatic, next one about our honey moon in a land were people get to work 16 hours shifts !

Bazinga !