There's a gate to hell behind every car wash !

Do you know that weird feeling when you have to leave for a dentist appointment, or have to call somebody you don't really know or like, anxious, unsettled, heart is racing, it pretty much sucks from my point of view because on top of these two I also get it each time I'm heading for a car wash. I like my car clean but if its filthy its fine either way, I'll find an excuse not to wash it, no worries ! My wife she's the one which obliges me to have it properly washed at a car wash, if I ignore her she starts blackmailing me, the 1st stages involve total abstinence from ironing my clothes, but I can manage, she'll stop cooking eventually but my parents, grand parents and in laws live in a 2 km radius from our place so I can successfully manage this as well real problems appear when she stops flushing refuses any form of physical contact and sooner or later I have to give way. "promise I'll take it to the cars wash just stop it !" usually happens in a moment of weakness while in bed ... Next morning I wake up with the sun, usually 4 am I can't sleep anyway, get breakfast, shower, sort out the mess in the house, vacuum clean, dust off the furniture, do my exercises, catch up with some work and its already quarter past 4 the car wash opens at 10 still time for some league of legends and perhaps some TV series (downloaded of course). Finally I arrive at the car wash, park my car in one of the stalls (its a manual car wash, without brushes and stuff) and a dude wearing yellow rubber boots and rubber overall comes over(he looks special, like Adam Sandler in Little Nicky) in a deep and slowly spoken voice, big lips and not many teeth left asks me "heeeeey duuuuude ! what do you want ?" (oh fuck my life what do I want ? world peace, tea with butter crumpets, somebody to love me and I'd fancy to win the lottery ... but how can I tell him that, the next moment his father would pop up with a draft for a "sell your soul to the devil contract") "aaaa I aaa want a wash and interior cleaning sir, thank you, would you like my wallet as well ?" JESUS ! So i'm sitting there while he applies lotions, sprays stuff, lets the stuff get in, then washes it away, sprays foam, takes a brake, applies wax, washes the wax off, eventually he's done. Looks to the right, to the left, under the car, in the yard, looks me in the eyes and makes a sign for me to approach him (oh shoot ! he doesn't like my car I'm screwed ). Went over to him and he asked for my key " me drive I can" (in retard voice), gave him the keys and he pulled the car in another stall for the interior cleaning, about 5 of his colleagues stormed the place 1 tall guy, 2 ridiculously small girls and 2 fat ones, armed with rugs, paper towels, spray cans ... 1st thing they turned my stereo to a full volume on some shitty station. They started working, spitting on the windshield for extra polish, vacuuming, washing the carpets, going through my glove compartment, draining gas, the car was shaking like a samba dancer on acid. Eventually I went in to the cashiers office to pay, behind the thick cloud of smoke sat a blonde bimbo in some pink dress and while chewing on some gum with her mouth open she asked me "what do you have boy ?" told her that I got my car washed and want to pay, gave me some sort of ticket to give it to the workers as proof that I paid and I was free to go. I drove off with shivers down my spine, I'm done with it for at least a few months. Seen a miracle on the news yesterday 1st rain in some poor African country since 1901, guess what those clouds knew I had my car washed they flew over and the next morning my car was full of fallen and wet leaves, dusty and the friendly neighborhood pigeon shat on it to claim his territory. What a sad man I am ! washed my car at hells gates and stole the rain from Africa. I bow before you !