Here is the thing ! Last week my wife and I made the 1st steps towards our new life and starting with 2012 we will begin with our fantastic American adventure, yep we are moving to the US. Our families are pretty shocked over our decision, the news of receiving the permit to travel to the US came like a punch in the gut for most of our family members, hey my grandparents are not even realizing whats going on ... they are just happy. Hell ! even my wife's cousin from Italy (she is also a dear friend of mine) won't believe it, that's probably because I kept bullshitting her every time I had a chance, made her once believe that wet willies are good for proper brain ventilation.
Even my wife, she cant imagine herself moving away, honestly this matter constitutes a bit of a problem for me also but as I know myself as being pretty good in this kind of situations I'm pretty sure I will handle it quite fine. I'm aware that my comfy period is over for a while but who the hell wants to be comfy in a place like this ? Honestly, besides my childhood adventures and some disgusting teenage situations I've got no awesome stories to tell, I want to become one of those cool guys with a healthy tan in the middle of the winter without visiting tanning saloons, cracking jokes and sharing my adventures in front of a crowd on the top of a gnarly double black diamond slope towards France in the Swiss alps , after jerking tears of joy from the enthusiastic audience I should swoosh away on my rocked powered skies. For a while now I'm thinking to work on a book were I would like to abuse my rich imagination and combine it with some actual facts ... imagination is great for entertainment but it has to be built on real events, otherwise I will end up writing a new version of the bible and call it "the last testament" perhaps "the new testament after an awesome dude with a healthy tan in the middle of the winter" or the geeky version written in magneto font "T.N.T. V.2.00" or the upper case version where every word shouts at the reader leaving people half deaf after reading the entire book.
I tell you I've got plans a whole lot of them ! you know the feeling when as a child you were dreaming about the day when you will ride your bike without the training wheels, I'm looking forward to this experience ever since I graduated high school. How would you feel if you knew you will move not just to a more civilized country but to the best city in the whole wide world ? how ? awesome right ? how would you come every morning into the office ? like a boss right ? I'm not going to become a complete asshole and refuse to work or shit like this but somehow my well being and happy state seems to squeeze my dear office companion's balls, each time he complains about some shit I tell him how awesome my general mood is and yes I do have perspective, my road is yet to be walked and what a great road it is ! The best thing about this entire story is that my favorite part of the family is already there and waiting ... pretty damn awesome !!!
That's it for now, need plane tickets !
Hello again, to all my friends
Together we can play some rock 'n' roll
I must admit this as being my guilty pleasure for the past week, I'm not really into this "umts umts umts" music.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Monday, September 19, 2011
Approach on meds !
Now this is something worth pausing my video game for, it's actually outrageous ! I'm talking about medicine adds on tv and medicine adds in general. 1st of all why do they need to advertise meds on TV, if your doctor prescribes something you will get to the pharmacy and buy that exact type of pill, not a purple one not a swarovsky crystal engraved one and of course not the one you've seen on the teli last evening. I mean what the hell? Are there people buying pills just because the've seen a man riding happily a horse which recommends them to be wonder pills ? I don't know what to say ... If you can't ride your horse or sit properly you might have some problems with your shitter, there is also a great chance for you to be diagnosed as being a faggot, which sane man rides his horse smiling ? all male horse riders are the mean tough as a coffin nail type (except the mafia underfed midgets known as jokey's). Of course if you're aware of your gay illness I would suggest to change something in your personal life, forget the stud, go asian maybe ?
Back to the TV commercials, things get messed up people, I know a few persons which buy their sight glasses from the market, honestly they go there to a gippo witchdoctor and try on a few glasses ...
"oh lovely these fit my left eye just fine, is there a chance to switch the lenses from other glasses ?"
"no switch ! buy both for 5$"
not the ideal way to chose your spectacles, with the courtesy of TV adds encouraging self medication any knob polisher can become a doctor. Maybe there are enough reasons to discuss about some conspiracies how the secret organizations like the sadomasochists plan to kill as many as possible to keep the planet for themselves. The main reason I chose to write about these commercials because I find it disturbing that in almost each one of them appear a few kids playing, ok kids are awesome but what's the message behind a spot with some children playing in the back yard, the children fade in a grey image and something like "PROCTO CLEAN, CLEAN AS A WHISTLE" appears. Do those children need to take a crap ? Will you take a crap like a child ? I don't get it but please do not use children in your upcoming anal bleach add.
Look here ...
Are the pills in that funny colored box for the children, I would have some if I were a child, why the hell not if that cool dude needs them to pop the bag in his grampa's face I'd love to pop a bag in my grampa's face also.
Back to the TV commercials, things get messed up people, I know a few persons which buy their sight glasses from the market, honestly they go there to a gippo witchdoctor and try on a few glasses ...
"oh lovely these fit my left eye just fine, is there a chance to switch the lenses from other glasses ?"
"no switch ! buy both for 5$"
not the ideal way to chose your spectacles, with the courtesy of TV adds encouraging self medication any knob polisher can become a doctor. Maybe there are enough reasons to discuss about some conspiracies how the secret organizations like the sadomasochists plan to kill as many as possible to keep the planet for themselves. The main reason I chose to write about these commercials because I find it disturbing that in almost each one of them appear a few kids playing, ok kids are awesome but what's the message behind a spot with some children playing in the back yard, the children fade in a grey image and something like "PROCTO CLEAN, CLEAN AS A WHISTLE" appears. Do those children need to take a crap ? Will you take a crap like a child ? I don't get it but please do not use children in your upcoming anal bleach add.
Look here ...
Are the pills in that funny colored box for the children, I would have some if I were a child, why the hell not if that cool dude needs them to pop the bag in his grampa's face I'd love to pop a bag in my grampa's face also.
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Chasing ambulances
Woke up this morning at 4:30 am in order to take a work related trip, I was heading towards a town which is almost 400 km away. I need like 12 hours to go there do the stuff I have to do and come back but to do so I can't just drive the car I need to pilot it ! Morning ... streets empty, I went for it ! felt like Clint Eastwood in the wild west, guns blazing pedal to the metal kind of shit or volle pulle how my German friend like to call it. To bad we don't have the autobahn here but instead we've got some dodgy pieces of asphalt with a white line in the middle we like to call national roads. Anyway at some point I had a ambulance in front of my car, the ambulance was on a mission with lights and sirens the whole circus in effect, the ambulance driver was beating the shit that Mercedes van (pretty fast things with turbo charged diesel engines) but still he wasn't fast enough. I was thinking how bad would it be if I would overtake the ambulance, after all if I follow it people stay out of my way but if I stay behind it at 120 kph (in a 50 kph area) I will lose time. WENT for it ! I was so pumped it didn't matter I was overtaking on a double continuous lane and over a pedestrian crossing doing 150 kph. My fun ended swiftly when I saw a police car monitoring the traffic, the police man didn't even managed to get out of the car I had my signal lights on and was about to pull over.
The dude came out and asked me if I knew what I did ... well I knew to well but I needed a god excuse to keep my license and not get a great money penalty. As I was carrying some industrial stuff with me (a pump and some other parts) I told the cop that my behaviour is justified as an emergency also (like an ambulance wtf!) because I'm carrying those equipments to a hospital in a certain town which needs them that morning for the people coming in for their dialysis. Of course I admitted my offence also. The cop was thinking and thinking (I almost shat myself) ... than he spoke:
- Look I wont let you go just with a warning, I will fine you for not having your fog lights on and you also need to promise me you will behave.
- Yes KIND SIR ! I will ! were do I sign ?
- Thank you ! bye !
After I got a fine worth the equivalent of 10$, I thought I was on my way to catch up with the ambulance ... and I did too ! at nearly 1 km away from were I was fined, an underpaid asshole (exactly like I am, I was a selfish moron dumb twat for driving like that) tried to climb a tree with a company branded Chevrolet Spark, he lost some teeth in the process, the ambulance was for him. Well I've arrived home 2 hours later than planned, but I'm here writing about it, not in some hospital sipping my dinner trough a straw. Bad road manners kill people ... I've had enough !
This suits this topic:
Iggy for president !
The dude came out and asked me if I knew what I did ... well I knew to well but I needed a god excuse to keep my license and not get a great money penalty. As I was carrying some industrial stuff with me (a pump and some other parts) I told the cop that my behaviour is justified as an emergency also (like an ambulance wtf!) because I'm carrying those equipments to a hospital in a certain town which needs them that morning for the people coming in for their dialysis. Of course I admitted my offence also. The cop was thinking and thinking (I almost shat myself) ... than he spoke:
- Look I wont let you go just with a warning, I will fine you for not having your fog lights on and you also need to promise me you will behave.
- Yes KIND SIR ! I will ! were do I sign ?
- Thank you ! bye !
After I got a fine worth the equivalent of 10$, I thought I was on my way to catch up with the ambulance ... and I did too ! at nearly 1 km away from were I was fined, an underpaid asshole (exactly like I am, I was a selfish moron dumb twat for driving like that) tried to climb a tree with a company branded Chevrolet Spark, he lost some teeth in the process, the ambulance was for him. Well I've arrived home 2 hours later than planned, but I'm here writing about it, not in some hospital sipping my dinner trough a straw. Bad road manners kill people ... I've had enough !
This suits this topic:
Iggy for president !
Sunday, September 11, 2011
Them shepherds ...
Shepherds massive wankers that's what they are, forget those nice tales about the kind shepherd which saved the universe, its a pile of manure, another folk tale were kids are teached to trust the figure of the kind shepherd. Reality differs, they are a bunch of unwashed, nasty smelling, hermit wannabes, drink a lot, sheep fuckers. The reason I got to hate these antisocial dumb asses is because they know to ruin a perfectly great day in the nature, each time I go for a hike I need to look out for the shepherd on duty and not for dangerous snakes, wolves or 3 headed chimeras ... nooo shepherds are the natural enemy of the hiker, they hate hikers !
As you probably figured it out already I live in a 2,5 world country (not 3rd world country because you can actually see obese people around, you know they're rich if they're fat) and trying to make the best living as possible here and take advantage of everything, the County Council opened a few bicycle tracks around the town I live in, stellar idea ! OK I got a go a couple of weeks ago on one of the tracks, fancied it and asked my lazy wife to join me (not work shy lazy but running after a ball lazy) next time. We went together today, nice autumn weather, nice forest, after we managed to get over the uphill part of the trail we had a great downhill ride ahead ... but after a few hundred meters the path was blocked by a fuckload of sheep, I went 1st and asked my wife to keep close, suddenly out of nowhere 4 shepherd dogs started to bark and chase me, I'm not really scared of dogs but I'm not comfortable with 4 ginormous white canines of death chasing me, what the holly trinity of swear words should I do ? pedal my way the fuck out ? get of my bike and fight them with my bad breath ? ... instructed my wife to follow me, made sure all 4 mutts were following me and I went absolutely mental full speed charging any dog in my way and also kicking any of them attempting to take a bite out of my boots. They chased me a while and stopped then I looked back if my wife was there ... of course she thought that if all 4 of them were chasing me why should she keep close and make a getaway together, right now I was so damn pissed I took a heavy piece of wood shaped like a katana and went back with the intention to kill those fucking dogs and the shepherd, fuck it its self defence, he lets lose his aggressive dogs on a public hiking trail, I will shove a piece of wood full of splints up his ass. After a while my wife came towards me, riding her bicycle like she just came from the flower market and she was like why did you pedalled so fast ?.... bloody hell !!! because If I had stopped to check my mascara those dogs would have probably given me a violent nose and butt cheeks jobs. Anyway I'm glad we came out unharmed, obviously she got scared and scared + stupid = freeze, thanks God the dogs came after me and not after her, she only weights 44 kg (you can tell we are not rich).
Now back to the shepherds, the dogs are innocent honestly, they bark and bite for a living, but here is the catch, I will kill any dog trying to bite or kick my ass, and most likely I will torture anyone which lets loose his mental ill dog, no bullshit !syringe pit (saw) style !
Right now I'm thinking to announce the police and let them know that an illiterate retard has 4 titanium teeth psycho dogs walking freely on a public track. From now on I will carry with me a can of bear mace, spray the living will out of the dogs and go after the jerk who feeds them. Glad I managed to take a few pictures from our trip, enjoy:
afternoon sleep on!
As you probably figured it out already I live in a 2,5 world country (not 3rd world country because you can actually see obese people around, you know they're rich if they're fat) and trying to make the best living as possible here and take advantage of everything, the County Council opened a few bicycle tracks around the town I live in, stellar idea ! OK I got a go a couple of weeks ago on one of the tracks, fancied it and asked my lazy wife to join me (not work shy lazy but running after a ball lazy) next time. We went together today, nice autumn weather, nice forest, after we managed to get over the uphill part of the trail we had a great downhill ride ahead ... but after a few hundred meters the path was blocked by a fuckload of sheep, I went 1st and asked my wife to keep close, suddenly out of nowhere 4 shepherd dogs started to bark and chase me, I'm not really scared of dogs but I'm not comfortable with 4 ginormous white canines of death chasing me, what the holly trinity of swear words should I do ? pedal my way the fuck out ? get of my bike and fight them with my bad breath ? ... instructed my wife to follow me, made sure all 4 mutts were following me and I went absolutely mental full speed charging any dog in my way and also kicking any of them attempting to take a bite out of my boots. They chased me a while and stopped then I looked back if my wife was there ... of course she thought that if all 4 of them were chasing me why should she keep close and make a getaway together, right now I was so damn pissed I took a heavy piece of wood shaped like a katana and went back with the intention to kill those fucking dogs and the shepherd, fuck it its self defence, he lets lose his aggressive dogs on a public hiking trail, I will shove a piece of wood full of splints up his ass. After a while my wife came towards me, riding her bicycle like she just came from the flower market and she was like why did you pedalled so fast ?.... bloody hell !!! because If I had stopped to check my mascara those dogs would have probably given me a violent nose and butt cheeks jobs. Anyway I'm glad we came out unharmed, obviously she got scared and scared + stupid = freeze, thanks God the dogs came after me and not after her, she only weights 44 kg (you can tell we are not rich).
Now back to the shepherds, the dogs are innocent honestly, they bark and bite for a living, but here is the catch, I will kill any dog trying to bite or kick my ass, and most likely I will torture anyone which lets loose his mental ill dog, no bullshit !syringe pit (saw) style !
Right now I'm thinking to announce the police and let them know that an illiterate retard has 4 titanium teeth psycho dogs walking freely on a public track. From now on I will carry with me a can of bear mace, spray the living will out of the dogs and go after the jerk who feeds them. Glad I managed to take a few pictures from our trip, enjoy:
afternoon sleep on!
Wednesday, August 24, 2011
Hookers will be hooking
By means of extraterrestrial forces I've been caught in the relationship crisis vortex of some people my wife calls friends. Somehow my wife got attached to this colleague of hers, never understood why but for a period I was forced to hang out with her and her many boyfriends which couldn't make it trough high school. Each time she broke up with one of them she quickly managed to find a replacement, each time this happened my wife was happy to bring these dandy novelties to my knowledge. Same story over and over again:
"you know she met this guy, he is really great, he is so kind and talks so gentle with her, he brought her a sandwich at the pharmacy today, he likes hiking and skiing just like you do, we need to go out with them so that you can meet him"
I must admit it I felt for this trickery to often, we went out, I got to meet the new guy, "look Andi he likes hiking just like you do" (frankly I don't give a shit about anyone's hobbies) amazing ! I'm glad for you new dude who likes to hike, your name is more than enough for the 1st forced contact, I use to forget their names anyway. With no exception the new dudes loves to get into a dick measuring contest with me (just like 2 dogs which met for the 1st time on the playground and play the "who's the alpha mutt" game) talks loud and plenty, makes references to his awesome friends, big money topics are never avoided. Gently but surely I like to guide the conversation towards our jobs and employer ... oh well this is were I get an idea about what kind of people I'm dealing with and even if you are a poet being a driver or a night guard can't be sweetened up. So basically that's her league, van drivers for some construction companies and night guards I've seen now a few of her boyfriends and all had this type of job. Right know we are facing a horrible break up story on one side and a fresh romance on the other side, while the left boyfriend calls us desperately trash talking my wife's colleague she invites us to meet the knew stud in her stable, I'm pretty feed up with this drama. The left one considers he is the victim and in a desperate attempt to win our friendship (I don't know why, my signs are pretty clear to fuck off) he pours poison in my ears and occasionally tells me some crap his bitch of an two faced ex-lover thinks about me, my wife and our marriage. This sounds like a mexican soapi staring 1 twisted to much make up wearing cunt, rabidly neurotic ex boyfriend, a new white trash van driver and the couple which makes an appearance once each season on the Christmas episode playing the better family. I got to grew up with different kind of people some were like the sun you couldn't watch them without sun glasses because they were brilliant, normal people, looking like whip cream chocolate cake but tasted like fermented manure kind(and the other way around)and obviously the "not worth my time" envy filled haters, due to my overwhelming experience with people its pretty easy to see whats behind the shit load of make up, she will get a t-shirt which says “Sympathy one receives for nothing, envy must be earned.” She probably wont get the allusion but I will enjoy it because I'm awesome and still feel the need to improve myself, envy update ftw.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The fucked up part above had to be documented to make sure I won't forget my ideas but now something awesome:
The Red Hot Chili Peppers will release at the end of this month called "I'm with you", I posted the new single on my previous intervention, looking forward to listen to the entire album. More stellar news ! we bought an iPad 2 which I fancy, still need to buy an epic noise-canceling headset from AKG, which are badass.
Now look at this guy, he doesn't give a crap
"you know she met this guy, he is really great, he is so kind and talks so gentle with her, he brought her a sandwich at the pharmacy today, he likes hiking and skiing just like you do, we need to go out with them so that you can meet him"
I must admit it I felt for this trickery to often, we went out, I got to meet the new guy, "look Andi he likes hiking just like you do" (frankly I don't give a shit about anyone's hobbies) amazing ! I'm glad for you new dude who likes to hike, your name is more than enough for the 1st forced contact, I use to forget their names anyway. With no exception the new dudes loves to get into a dick measuring contest with me (just like 2 dogs which met for the 1st time on the playground and play the "who's the alpha mutt" game) talks loud and plenty, makes references to his awesome friends, big money topics are never avoided. Gently but surely I like to guide the conversation towards our jobs and employer ... oh well this is were I get an idea about what kind of people I'm dealing with and even if you are a poet being a driver or a night guard can't be sweetened up. So basically that's her league, van drivers for some construction companies and night guards I've seen now a few of her boyfriends and all had this type of job. Right know we are facing a horrible break up story on one side and a fresh romance on the other side, while the left boyfriend calls us desperately trash talking my wife's colleague she invites us to meet the knew stud in her stable, I'm pretty feed up with this drama. The left one considers he is the victim and in a desperate attempt to win our friendship (I don't know why, my signs are pretty clear to fuck off) he pours poison in my ears and occasionally tells me some crap his bitch of an two faced ex-lover thinks about me, my wife and our marriage. This sounds like a mexican soapi staring 1 twisted to much make up wearing cunt, rabidly neurotic ex boyfriend, a new white trash van driver and the couple which makes an appearance once each season on the Christmas episode playing the better family. I got to grew up with different kind of people some were like the sun you couldn't watch them without sun glasses because they were brilliant, normal people, looking like whip cream chocolate cake but tasted like fermented manure kind(and the other way around)and obviously the "not worth my time" envy filled haters, due to my overwhelming experience with people its pretty easy to see whats behind the shit load of make up, she will get a t-shirt which says “Sympathy one receives for nothing, envy must be earned.” She probably wont get the allusion but I will enjoy it because I'm awesome and still feel the need to improve myself, envy update ftw.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The fucked up part above had to be documented to make sure I won't forget my ideas but now something awesome:
The Red Hot Chili Peppers will release at the end of this month called "I'm with you", I posted the new single on my previous intervention, looking forward to listen to the entire album. More stellar news ! we bought an iPad 2 which I fancy, still need to buy an epic noise-canceling headset from AKG, which are badass.
Now look at this guy, he doesn't give a crap
Sunday, July 31, 2011
New language pack
I anticipated this situation but I hoped it wont ever happen.
As I'm not really happy with my current geographical location I want to move somewhere else, another country, another continent, another time zone (50 years forward on the scale of civilization). Now ! right now is the perfect moment to do this, I had a meeting with a few peoples which offer counseling for emigration, things got really clear, me and my wife are eligible for the emigration process but we need to learn french. Actually I need to master french as good as possible since I'm the main applicant and my knowledge will be rated higher. I've studied french for about 6 years during primary and high school but my teachers were a bunch of miserable communists trained to keep their pupils away from capitalist cultures. My french knowledge was pretty much close to zero but I manned up, bought a few books and I'm learning french now, the language I knew as being impossibly repulsive is actually pretty easy to learn and its a refreshing activity after a boring day of routine at work. I'm really happy because I feel like I'm making consistent progress but still I've got a long way ahead, my wife likes it also even though she finds it hard to pronounce certain words. Not sure where my motivation comes from, I'm in a complete disagreement with almost everything what's happening around me, the sum of certain factors ignited something in me.
So french it is ! I will walk this road and see where it will take me ...
Fin !
As I'm not really happy with my current geographical location I want to move somewhere else, another country, another continent, another time zone (50 years forward on the scale of civilization). Now ! right now is the perfect moment to do this, I had a meeting with a few peoples which offer counseling for emigration, things got really clear, me and my wife are eligible for the emigration process but we need to learn french. Actually I need to master french as good as possible since I'm the main applicant and my knowledge will be rated higher. I've studied french for about 6 years during primary and high school but my teachers were a bunch of miserable communists trained to keep their pupils away from capitalist cultures. My french knowledge was pretty much close to zero but I manned up, bought a few books and I'm learning french now, the language I knew as being impossibly repulsive is actually pretty easy to learn and its a refreshing activity after a boring day of routine at work. I'm really happy because I feel like I'm making consistent progress but still I've got a long way ahead, my wife likes it also even though she finds it hard to pronounce certain words. Not sure where my motivation comes from, I'm in a complete disagreement with almost everything what's happening around me, the sum of certain factors ignited something in me.
So french it is ! I will walk this road and see where it will take me ...
Fin !
Thursday, July 21, 2011
Salty honey moon !
Shortly after our epic wedding we went in our well deserved honey moon, our 1st choice was a place in Italy called Cinque Terre, five isolated towns on the coast of the Mediterranean sea, the only mean of transport between these five towns is by walking 10~12 KM between each town on man made paths through the mountains along the coast. Of course incompetent travel agencies which make their living in my town couldn't offer us a vacation there so I wanted to organize everything by myself ... unfortunately there was a risk of remaining without a hotel room at some point and I wasn't comfortable with this.
Like every boring and freshly wed couple we decided to spend our honey moon in Turkey, an absolutely unexceptional destination. If you like annoying little black people which want to sell something that's the place for you !
Our honey moon started once we arrived at Antalya airport, pretty nice modern building, we took a bus to the hotel, on the 40 minutes bus ride I could observe what kind of people are living there, a lot of garbage on the side of the roads, shanty town architecture, occasionally incoming traffic on the freeways (which in my opinion is proposturos). As we approached the area were the hotels and resorts are, we could see fancy vegetation behind tall fences and thick walls, it's a weird feeling if you drive through a shanty town like area towards a high class resort. Easy check-in at the hotel, we had a nice room overlooking the swimming pool and the sea, we arrived just in time for dinner so we went down in the restaurant and got something to eat, great variety of food therefore choosing was hard and it got even harder as days passed and we discovered the grill bar or other places in the resort. After a quick walk around the resort we crashed in the hotel lobby and got some drinks. Next morning ACTION !!! took a couple of sunbeds, my wife was sunbathing as I was reading a newspaper which I got for free in the airport or took a swim in the sea. Everything was great and quiet until a mob of entertainers stormed the beach, inviting everybody to take part on various activities, riffle shooting, water gym, water polo, boccia, darts and what not ... awesome. It went like this every day at one point I realized that the people in the entertainment team were the same each day, it didn't matter if it was Sunday or any other day of the week, I took a closer look at the other staff members, bartenders were the same, waiters the same, basically people there were working at least 16 hours shifts each day, that seemed disturbing and I felt sorry for them. As days past I got to knew some members of the staff and I couldn't help myself and I asked whats the deal with those shifts, indeed they are working 16 hours shifts, 6 days/week but they get to stay in the hotel and eat in the hotel restaurant like the tourists do and they rotate between various working areas each day (this guy was a bartender, and during the week he works in 5 different bars, the poll bars is the busiest). I gave it a thought and its actually not that bad, they get to keep their earnings, don't need to pay for food, water/electricity/gas bills. Another thing that bothered me there was the massive waste of food, some of the fucking tourist like to fill 5 plates with food will taste from each plate and walk away leaving a good amount of food which has to be thrown away. I guess the untouched food gets donated or served again at dinner but what about those leftovers ? since Turkey is not a pork eating country they can't feed their animals with those leftovers or maybe they process the food later. My wife insisted to visit a few places, our 1st trip was in the great city of Antalya, pretty nice, turned out that the garbage on the side of the road was meant for filling for the roads they are about to build, those shanty towns are actually new towns in development (that area was barren until the 1980's German investors raised the 1st resorts). Ok I must admit that I was about to lose my temper when we visited some leather store and a fucking dipshit of a sales guy managed to piss me off, he tried to sell me a leather coat (which was ugly by the way) at the great price of 1500 Euro's, he went to far and I told him to shove it up his ass because I won't buy it unless it comes with a matching porn studio. Same story in a Swiss watch and jewelery store were my wife was the pray for the sales person there. The second trip was a more organized group trip, a nice boat ride on a damn cold river, later we sailed from that river into the sea ... great trip ! we got to see a mosque, the biggest mosque in the region and I was impressed that the Muslims are really decent, if that mosque was the biggest one in that area were the main city had almost 2.000.000 inhabitants than we Christians are a bunch of ridiculously proud douche bags, I know at least 3 churches in my town (150.000 people) which are bigger or at least equal to that mosque. I've also learned a lesson on that trip, avoid fellow Romanians by all means,we are a damn maggot eaten nation instead of feeling love for each-other we hate our guts ! At the hotel I used to hang out with some Polack, Ukrainian and Russian dudes because I didn't knew about any other Romanians there, well plenty Romanians because I've seen them before the trip, believe me nobody talked to nobody, everybody was so damn important ... not nice. In general our honey moon was fine and relaxing, I'm not a fan of these kind of holidays, to much sun, to much food (everything tastes the same), not a great variety of activities, close to zero cultural value ... at least my wife learned how to swim and learned to enjoy an awesome pool.
Some pictures:
The adventures of Rain Dance Maggie:
Like every boring and freshly wed couple we decided to spend our honey moon in Turkey, an absolutely unexceptional destination. If you like annoying little black people which want to sell something that's the place for you !
Our honey moon started once we arrived at Antalya airport, pretty nice modern building, we took a bus to the hotel, on the 40 minutes bus ride I could observe what kind of people are living there, a lot of garbage on the side of the roads, shanty town architecture, occasionally incoming traffic on the freeways (which in my opinion is proposturos). As we approached the area were the hotels and resorts are, we could see fancy vegetation behind tall fences and thick walls, it's a weird feeling if you drive through a shanty town like area towards a high class resort. Easy check-in at the hotel, we had a nice room overlooking the swimming pool and the sea, we arrived just in time for dinner so we went down in the restaurant and got something to eat, great variety of food therefore choosing was hard and it got even harder as days passed and we discovered the grill bar or other places in the resort. After a quick walk around the resort we crashed in the hotel lobby and got some drinks. Next morning ACTION !!! took a couple of sunbeds, my wife was sunbathing as I was reading a newspaper which I got for free in the airport or took a swim in the sea. Everything was great and quiet until a mob of entertainers stormed the beach, inviting everybody to take part on various activities, riffle shooting, water gym, water polo, boccia, darts and what not ... awesome. It went like this every day at one point I realized that the people in the entertainment team were the same each day, it didn't matter if it was Sunday or any other day of the week, I took a closer look at the other staff members, bartenders were the same, waiters the same, basically people there were working at least 16 hours shifts each day, that seemed disturbing and I felt sorry for them. As days past I got to knew some members of the staff and I couldn't help myself and I asked whats the deal with those shifts, indeed they are working 16 hours shifts, 6 days/week but they get to stay in the hotel and eat in the hotel restaurant like the tourists do and they rotate between various working areas each day (this guy was a bartender, and during the week he works in 5 different bars, the poll bars is the busiest). I gave it a thought and its actually not that bad, they get to keep their earnings, don't need to pay for food, water/electricity/gas bills. Another thing that bothered me there was the massive waste of food, some of the fucking tourist like to fill 5 plates with food will taste from each plate and walk away leaving a good amount of food which has to be thrown away. I guess the untouched food gets donated or served again at dinner but what about those leftovers ? since Turkey is not a pork eating country they can't feed their animals with those leftovers or maybe they process the food later. My wife insisted to visit a few places, our 1st trip was in the great city of Antalya, pretty nice, turned out that the garbage on the side of the road was meant for filling for the roads they are about to build, those shanty towns are actually new towns in development (that area was barren until the 1980's German investors raised the 1st resorts). Ok I must admit that I was about to lose my temper when we visited some leather store and a fucking dipshit of a sales guy managed to piss me off, he tried to sell me a leather coat (which was ugly by the way) at the great price of 1500 Euro's, he went to far and I told him to shove it up his ass because I won't buy it unless it comes with a matching porn studio. Same story in a Swiss watch and jewelery store were my wife was the pray for the sales person there. The second trip was a more organized group trip, a nice boat ride on a damn cold river, later we sailed from that river into the sea ... great trip ! we got to see a mosque, the biggest mosque in the region and I was impressed that the Muslims are really decent, if that mosque was the biggest one in that area were the main city had almost 2.000.000 inhabitants than we Christians are a bunch of ridiculously proud douche bags, I know at least 3 churches in my town (150.000 people) which are bigger or at least equal to that mosque. I've also learned a lesson on that trip, avoid fellow Romanians by all means,we are a damn maggot eaten nation instead of feeling love for each-other we hate our guts ! At the hotel I used to hang out with some Polack, Ukrainian and Russian dudes because I didn't knew about any other Romanians there, well plenty Romanians because I've seen them before the trip, believe me nobody talked to nobody, everybody was so damn important ... not nice. In general our honey moon was fine and relaxing, I'm not a fan of these kind of holidays, to much sun, to much food (everything tastes the same), not a great variety of activities, close to zero cultural value ... at least my wife learned how to swim and learned to enjoy an awesome pool.
Some pictures:
The adventures of Rain Dance Maggie:
Monday, July 18, 2011
wait what ?!?!? I'm confuzzled !!!
Here is the situation, I was talking with one of my friends today about how far would a person go to earn money, good money ! since those "run naked across the town", "eat a piece of shit", "bang a disgustingly ugly old, fat and decaying twat" are a little bit to childish, we agreed upon talking only about badass tasks or challenges suited for mean bastards ... like I am !
I don't like other people telling stories, so I'm always the 1st one to talk and when I'm done I'm not listening what others have to say ... because I'm already in action with my groupies. So I told my friend my idea of the ultimate task for 1.000.000 Euros, 1 year in prison ! he said its not worth it, I got angry and if I think about it I would probably do 1 year for 100.000 Euros. 100.000 just for sitting around and waiting for a year to pass ... easy money ! if you look at it as a fucked up job which pays well, I would do it without hesitation. The question is how would I get the money ? rob a bank ? shank some old lady and drive off with her savings ? guess my badassery only goes so far, but as an experiment founded by the government were one has to live 1 year behind bars.
So if you are a dictator or the president of some country which has to give away 100.000 Euro's for 1 year of prison ... I'm your man !
People are to afraid of hard challenging tasks or jobs which leads to an overall state of mediocrity, we need to man up and embrace whats coming for us, profit from each opportunity, go braveheart crazy in any situation !!!
35 Celsius ...
I don't like other people telling stories, so I'm always the 1st one to talk and when I'm done I'm not listening what others have to say ... because I'm already in action with my groupies. So I told my friend my idea of the ultimate task for 1.000.000 Euros, 1 year in prison ! he said its not worth it, I got angry and if I think about it I would probably do 1 year for 100.000 Euros. 100.000 just for sitting around and waiting for a year to pass ... easy money ! if you look at it as a fucked up job which pays well, I would do it without hesitation. The question is how would I get the money ? rob a bank ? shank some old lady and drive off with her savings ? guess my badassery only goes so far, but as an experiment founded by the government were one has to live 1 year behind bars.
So if you are a dictator or the president of some country which has to give away 100.000 Euro's for 1 year of prison ... I'm your man !
People are to afraid of hard challenging tasks or jobs which leads to an overall state of mediocrity, we need to man up and embrace whats coming for us, profit from each opportunity, go braveheart crazy in any situation !!!
35 Celsius ...
Sunday, July 10, 2011
A wedding on the nightmare street !
Like previously announced I will make some pleasant and some unpleasant comments about what was my ... our wedding. My wife lived her entire life just for that day, she and her family planned almost everything, while me and my family were kinda pushed to the side, my mother suffered in silence a few days, my father and I ... we didn't care to much. With a month before the great event we were told that a wedding planner had to step in in order to straighten the shit up, we got to meet her and we got to talk about our preferences regarding the upcoming event. I've made it clear from the start, I'm not hot for following bullshit testicle grinding traditions, 1st because I hate useless traditions invented by some menopausal goiter ill lesbians from hell; 2nd because I'm afraid of fainting, I use to faint as a self defense technique which I've learned from a kung fu goat. The wedding planner was slightly surprised about how low profile I want everything to be, no chocolate fountain (these are vomitingly gross), no fireworks, no cheap bands (I would've loved to have the Stooges and Iggy Pop), no soap bubbles machine, no leprechauns, no narwhals ... basically no bollocks !!! She asked me if I was a rocker ... what the fuck lady ? do you do special weddings for rockers ? these were just a few questions which ran trough my mind instead I told her I'm an example of modesty and known for my good taste in almost everything (my tears taste awful, taste like purple eyes, smashed molars and fractured skulls combined)and as you might have already figured out I was not a fan.
As time passed the inevitable happened and believe me I enjoyed every moment, my lets say mother in law got in a clinch with the wedding planer and man that was awesome the poor lady had to do her job but under the strict iron fist supervision and that made the result driven self motivated wedding mastermind to calm the fuck down.
My only job was to hand out the wedding invitations(self made and awesome) and of course swallow the pathetic excuses some had for not showing up ... uhm you know I would love to come to your wedding but I'm planning to get a prostate exam ! thank you oh holly deity ! my scum bag of an office colleague had to get a lobotomy in that particular day.
The bride and the groom need to ask another two couples to become their God parents (traditions right?), ever since I know myself I wanted to pick a couple which I really admire and I managed to do that and .... they accepted ! hurray ! my ex office colleague she is one of the smartest and coolest woman I know and to top that she is a doctor in hydraulic engineering, her husband is a very pleasant/funny/great to talk to/ happy to advise/ entrepreneurship enthusiastic/ planning on retiring as a wealthy playboy ... words are not enough, great people ! My wife chose her cousin and her husband and she is more than welcome to talk about them on her own blog.
Fast forward to the day ! Sunday morning, very warm, we were expecting everybody to come over and take part to the wedding ... I was so relaxed until I saw my God parents and a few friends at the door ... it was on ! oh shit! oh shit! I got really nervous and sweaty, my heart started to beat faster and faster, drinks, pictures, more sweat ... I was about to call everything off, I would've rather went for a swim in a nearby lake than getting married. So with a knot in my stomach and a carrot up my ass we all went to get the bride, more family there more best wishes, more cheek kisses, more drinks ... the bride was ready and the groom with his family had to go and wait for her to the church without seeing the bride. Once we arrived at the church more friends were there and I felt like a demon possessed 14 year old girl which is about to get exorcised by the Vatican all star team. I had pain in my chest, I was dizzy, I was thirsty, finally my mother walked me to the altar shortly the bride followed, I never liked brides they creep me out but there she was, this one was one of the most beautiful one I've ever seen but still I couldn't forget my physical and emotional condition. Now here is something I despise, a groom can't see his bride in the wedding dress before the wedding because it brings bad luck, well fuck this ! fuck the jerk who invented this shit, I almost fainted because I didn't knew whats coming for me. The priest did his part very well he was quick and funny. At the restaurant the usual deal some drink their brains away and plan to walk home even if they live 50km away, others dance without interruption, some steal my wife and make me do a funny dance to bring her back .... well been there done that got the T-shirt, I wont repeat it again, check out some tweaked pics:
So that's about it two trolls got married !
Funny thing is that everybody asks if something changed between us after the weeding, I would say yes it did, somehow we can't agree on our future steps in life and it pisses me off that she has nothing planned, no dreams nothing to reach for and has this negative attitude towards my well intentioned plans. Before we used to keep our private shit private now we talk about it with various characters and I don't like it. Don't know what to say hope the situation wont degenerate into something ugly.
Here baby this is for you:
Don't ruin everything !
Ok maybe I'm a bit dramatic, next one about our honey moon in a land were people get to work 16 hours shifts !
Bazinga !
As time passed the inevitable happened and believe me I enjoyed every moment, my lets say mother in law got in a clinch with the wedding planer and man that was awesome the poor lady had to do her job but under the strict iron fist supervision and that made the result driven self motivated wedding mastermind to calm the fuck down.
My only job was to hand out the wedding invitations(self made and awesome) and of course swallow the pathetic excuses some had for not showing up ... uhm you know I would love to come to your wedding but I'm planning to get a prostate exam ! thank you oh holly deity ! my scum bag of an office colleague had to get a lobotomy in that particular day.
The bride and the groom need to ask another two couples to become their God parents (traditions right?), ever since I know myself I wanted to pick a couple which I really admire and I managed to do that and .... they accepted ! hurray ! my ex office colleague she is one of the smartest and coolest woman I know and to top that she is a doctor in hydraulic engineering, her husband is a very pleasant/funny/great to talk to/ happy to advise/ entrepreneurship enthusiastic/ planning on retiring as a wealthy playboy ... words are not enough, great people ! My wife chose her cousin and her husband and she is more than welcome to talk about them on her own blog.
Fast forward to the day ! Sunday morning, very warm, we were expecting everybody to come over and take part to the wedding ... I was so relaxed until I saw my God parents and a few friends at the door ... it was on ! oh shit! oh shit! I got really nervous and sweaty, my heart started to beat faster and faster, drinks, pictures, more sweat ... I was about to call everything off, I would've rather went for a swim in a nearby lake than getting married. So with a knot in my stomach and a carrot up my ass we all went to get the bride, more family there more best wishes, more cheek kisses, more drinks ... the bride was ready and the groom with his family had to go and wait for her to the church without seeing the bride. Once we arrived at the church more friends were there and I felt like a demon possessed 14 year old girl which is about to get exorcised by the Vatican all star team. I had pain in my chest, I was dizzy, I was thirsty, finally my mother walked me to the altar shortly the bride followed, I never liked brides they creep me out but there she was, this one was one of the most beautiful one I've ever seen but still I couldn't forget my physical and emotional condition. Now here is something I despise, a groom can't see his bride in the wedding dress before the wedding because it brings bad luck, well fuck this ! fuck the jerk who invented this shit, I almost fainted because I didn't knew whats coming for me. The priest did his part very well he was quick and funny. At the restaurant the usual deal some drink their brains away and plan to walk home even if they live 50km away, others dance without interruption, some steal my wife and make me do a funny dance to bring her back .... well been there done that got the T-shirt, I wont repeat it again, check out some tweaked pics:
So that's about it two trolls got married !
Funny thing is that everybody asks if something changed between us after the weeding, I would say yes it did, somehow we can't agree on our future steps in life and it pisses me off that she has nothing planned, no dreams nothing to reach for and has this negative attitude towards my well intentioned plans. Before we used to keep our private shit private now we talk about it with various characters and I don't like it. Don't know what to say hope the situation wont degenerate into something ugly.
Here baby this is for you:
Don't ruin everything !
Ok maybe I'm a bit dramatic, next one about our honey moon in a land were people get to work 16 hours shifts !
Bazinga !
Thursday, June 09, 2011
Snitch on your neighbors
One of my colleagues brought in the office a fancy GPS device with a high resolution camera built in, on 1st thought it seemed a waste of technology but its pretty clever actually. Why ? well ... for instance you drive to see your grandma and a random douche bag driving ... uhm lets say an Audi A6(Audi's are the douche bags cars of choice) thinking he is The Humungus from Mad Max 2, you can take some pictures even record his road manners and send the footage to the police. Normal drivers do things like this in civilized countries and for a middle finger in the rear view mirror you might lose your drivings license, your finger or even get blown the fuck away from the road in US civilized countries like Iraq.
Mad Gibson Max @ the steering wheel:
So ... since we've got a new mayor in town the moment would be right to apply some revolutionary methods, that might work properly. Like the whole snitching on road attitude we could implement a system which rewards people who report other peoples misbehavior's. I've got a few hairy twats in my block which prefer to dump the garbage in the street bins and not in the domestic garbage containers, I could easily catch the whole thing on tape and send it to the authorities. Lets say the fine for improper garbage disposal is 200 Euros and the finder could get 50 Euros as reward ... in this conditions everybody is happy the local council gets 150 Euros, I get my 50 Euros and the neighbor will learn to respect the basic rules for living in a civilized community. This ratting thing (as in hunting rats) has all the chances to work and provide everybody with decent incomes for a long period of time, there are plenty neighbors with disturbing manners,plenty car owners which use the side walks or green areas as parking lots, wife beaters, dog walkers who forget to clean up the Mars bars left behind by the dogs, wankers who like to eat sunflower seeds on a bench in the public park and leave a mess behind and the examples are endless.
The beggars will get video cameras and snitch on every single misbehavior they can spot. At the end of the day the authorities will receive great amounts of money and the savage citizens will think twice before wiping their asses with somebody else's hand.
Great face expression mr. Pussy Muncher Mayor Catalin Chereches ... I take it you like my idea.
oh dude I've got a few pictures with you parking your car on the pedestrian crossing !
were the fuck are my spectacles ? my eyes are pissing all over !
Stay tuned ! next episode your hero and life model Andi gets married and almost loses his life while doing so (with pictures !)
Mad Gibson Max @ the steering wheel:
So ... since we've got a new mayor in town the moment would be right to apply some revolutionary methods, that might work properly. Like the whole snitching on road attitude we could implement a system which rewards people who report other peoples misbehavior's. I've got a few hairy twats in my block which prefer to dump the garbage in the street bins and not in the domestic garbage containers, I could easily catch the whole thing on tape and send it to the authorities. Lets say the fine for improper garbage disposal is 200 Euros and the finder could get 50 Euros as reward ... in this conditions everybody is happy the local council gets 150 Euros, I get my 50 Euros and the neighbor will learn to respect the basic rules for living in a civilized community. This ratting thing (as in hunting rats) has all the chances to work and provide everybody with decent incomes for a long period of time, there are plenty neighbors with disturbing manners,plenty car owners which use the side walks or green areas as parking lots, wife beaters, dog walkers who forget to clean up the Mars bars left behind by the dogs, wankers who like to eat sunflower seeds on a bench in the public park and leave a mess behind and the examples are endless.
The beggars will get video cameras and snitch on every single misbehavior they can spot. At the end of the day the authorities will receive great amounts of money and the savage citizens will think twice before wiping their asses with somebody else's hand.
Great face expression mr. Pussy Muncher Mayor Catalin Chereches ... I take it you like my idea.
oh dude I've got a few pictures with you parking your car on the pedestrian crossing !
were the fuck are my spectacles ? my eyes are pissing all over !
Stay tuned ! next episode your hero and life model Andi gets married and almost loses his life while doing so (with pictures !)
Monday, May 16, 2011
Dark and welcoming ...
It's not the story of some cooch's hospitable asshole ! It's rather about cities in ex communist countries. I've seen most cities in my country and also some cities in other more developed and richer countries. I could be a hypocrite and write some positive patriotic crap about the great tall buildings in my countries cities, how our grandparents paid with sweat and blood (sweat and blood ? how nasty must a sweaty building smell like ?) in order to raise our colossal administrative buildings and housing blocks. Some busted their balls to get shit built and so they did, they built some horrible grey as fuck dusty unpleasant and uncomfortable high maintenance architectural failures. A certain architecture pattern had to be followed in order to have the same sadness in every city, the overall sadness is like a "zombiefication device" for example my much hated office companion's portrait is like the facade of this public facility:
grey, shady, sweaty, cold, pissed all over, without a colorful past ... depressing !!!
This explains the low rate of patriotism, people are not proud of their hometowns ... the playgrounds for children are still messed up, rusty, with enough sharp edges to scalp the joyful rats.
Traveled recently to my country's capital, arrived there pretty late, everything was so warm and welcoming, the buildings looked fabulous, everything seemed so neat, trees, vegetation just awesome !!! I was hyped !!! my friends told me not to get fooled, I didn't payed attention, the apartment were I lived in had an awesome view ... lights, many lights, pretty lights !!! Went happy to bed just to have a fucking shock in the morning !!! were did that awesome city go ! what about the vegetation and the trees ? ... grey ! everything was grey and sad again. Believe me this was the main city of grey, even the flowers were gray ! Almost pissed my self while being stuck in traffic there ... I hate that place !
Saturday evening my soon to be wife took me out to the "white night at the museums" event in our town, again everything seemed to be so beautiful during the night, warm lights, a lot of people having a relaxing stroll, they played some great music in the art museum, brilliant.
I was wondering if she noticed the charm of the night in the city, told here about the shock I had in Bucharest and surprisingly she thought about the same thing. How much a different color tone, some shades can affect our perception of reality. Starting with last Saturday we decided to become vampires, mysteriously cool nocturnal beings just like the twilight/true blood mega awesome characters. I'm already using eye liner, powder my face so I look ridiculously pale in contrast with my all black clothes.
If you're wondering what the fuck is this all about just take in consideration the part were I was to the museums and think how well educated and fucking awesome stud I am.
Cry here:
grey, shady, sweaty, cold, pissed all over, without a colorful past ... depressing !!!
This explains the low rate of patriotism, people are not proud of their hometowns ... the playgrounds for children are still messed up, rusty, with enough sharp edges to scalp the joyful rats.
Traveled recently to my country's capital, arrived there pretty late, everything was so warm and welcoming, the buildings looked fabulous, everything seemed so neat, trees, vegetation just awesome !!! I was hyped !!! my friends told me not to get fooled, I didn't payed attention, the apartment were I lived in had an awesome view ... lights, many lights, pretty lights !!! Went happy to bed just to have a fucking shock in the morning !!! were did that awesome city go ! what about the vegetation and the trees ? ... grey ! everything was grey and sad again. Believe me this was the main city of grey, even the flowers were gray ! Almost pissed my self while being stuck in traffic there ... I hate that place !
Saturday evening my soon to be wife took me out to the "white night at the museums" event in our town, again everything seemed to be so beautiful during the night, warm lights, a lot of people having a relaxing stroll, they played some great music in the art museum, brilliant.
I was wondering if she noticed the charm of the night in the city, told here about the shock I had in Bucharest and surprisingly she thought about the same thing. How much a different color tone, some shades can affect our perception of reality. Starting with last Saturday we decided to become vampires, mysteriously cool nocturnal beings just like the twilight/true blood mega awesome characters. I'm already using eye liner, powder my face so I look ridiculously pale in contrast with my all black clothes.
If you're wondering what the fuck is this all about just take in consideration the part were I was to the museums and think how well educated and fucking awesome stud I am.
Cry here:
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Do your kids a favor !
Hah ! favors they come in different shapes and prices, are the expensive ones the most valuable ? or the free ones ?
It's 00:51 and I had a long day to think about it, woke with the remains of a funny dream .. I dreamed about my childhood, my funny, always sunny childhood and I guess I will remember certain episodes all my life. We had an elderly couple as neighbors and for some reason they always liked to pick an argument with us, there was always something, playing to loud, made a mess with paper cornets which we blew out of plastic tubes, sometimes we missed our slingshot targets (usually placed under a window), they made us feel guilty. The lady was pretty large and man was as skinny as a thin wire, 1st we named her "the wale" shortly after he became sharky. Me and my childhood mates used to hang out in front of the block's entrance especially on hot summer afternoons, that place seemed cooler, we stood there and played card games, reading french comics and do what boys usually do. Like always when we had fun, the aqua couple picked on us, not sure whether they went to far that particular time or our balls grew. Started yelling about some flowers which dried out calling us worms and loud rats in the process, we talked back, called them by their small names, reminded something about her eating everything while her husband leaves for soda (soda was the shit back then, we had a stainless steel 10l canisters which we filled at a neighbors shop) and leaving him hungry. At some point they had enough and went back inside, but we continued with the attacks, we attached an apple on a long stick and used it to bang in their windows while singing a song about fishes. Of course when my parents came home from work they were informed about my deeds and well I couldn't sit right for a few days ... they even made me apologize (which was embarrassing).
The whole point of this late night writeorama is that as a child I was always told to be kind, respect others, say please/thank you, wash my hands, don't swear, fear the wolf the snake and the gypsy. If you ask me some of these teachings would be useful in a fantasy society but not the one in which we are living and therefore are just a load of moral and ethical bullshit !
For instance why should I teach my kid to respect an abusive grownup, abusive could mean a lot of things for children are really sensitive, does the age grant the right to behave like a brain dead salad tosser ? never heard of such rights !
We are living in a competitive society am I right ? why should I teach my child to be calm and kind say please and thank you ? no ! I wont do it, instead I will tell him to get whats his and take it before everybody, don't ask for permission if he has the right to have it, in the end middle finger up in the air, pants down so they can lick his ass because he is the man !
We grow up fearing the wolf and the snake, adoring the bear and the lion, what the fuck people ? wolves are not that dangerous as bears are, without snakes we would have rat plagues and other nasty problems, nobody says to pet a snake but don't fucking kill it when it crosses your path, he is more scared than you are. You know what a snake thinks when he sees a human ? the snake thinks about growing a pair of Usain Bolt feet and run the fuck away, or kick humans in the nuts !
Pay great attention what you tell you kids, they might have huge problems later in life, kindness, respect, friendship, wisdom are things which must be earned, a minimum amount of decency should suffice the rest must be earned.
Most of these things come from religious interpretations and are not compatible with the modern society, teach your children to live in the real world not some fairy tale trap, do them a favor and prepare them.
While educating listen to this:
It's 00:51 and I had a long day to think about it, woke with the remains of a funny dream .. I dreamed about my childhood, my funny, always sunny childhood and I guess I will remember certain episodes all my life. We had an elderly couple as neighbors and for some reason they always liked to pick an argument with us, there was always something, playing to loud, made a mess with paper cornets which we blew out of plastic tubes, sometimes we missed our slingshot targets (usually placed under a window), they made us feel guilty. The lady was pretty large and man was as skinny as a thin wire, 1st we named her "the wale" shortly after he became sharky. Me and my childhood mates used to hang out in front of the block's entrance especially on hot summer afternoons, that place seemed cooler, we stood there and played card games, reading french comics and do what boys usually do. Like always when we had fun, the aqua couple picked on us, not sure whether they went to far that particular time or our balls grew. Started yelling about some flowers which dried out calling us worms and loud rats in the process, we talked back, called them by their small names, reminded something about her eating everything while her husband leaves for soda (soda was the shit back then, we had a stainless steel 10l canisters which we filled at a neighbors shop) and leaving him hungry. At some point they had enough and went back inside, but we continued with the attacks, we attached an apple on a long stick and used it to bang in their windows while singing a song about fishes. Of course when my parents came home from work they were informed about my deeds and well I couldn't sit right for a few days ... they even made me apologize (which was embarrassing).
The whole point of this late night writeorama is that as a child I was always told to be kind, respect others, say please/thank you, wash my hands, don't swear, fear the wolf the snake and the gypsy. If you ask me some of these teachings would be useful in a fantasy society but not the one in which we are living and therefore are just a load of moral and ethical bullshit !
For instance why should I teach my kid to respect an abusive grownup, abusive could mean a lot of things for children are really sensitive, does the age grant the right to behave like a brain dead salad tosser ? never heard of such rights !
We are living in a competitive society am I right ? why should I teach my child to be calm and kind say please and thank you ? no ! I wont do it, instead I will tell him to get whats his and take it before everybody, don't ask for permission if he has the right to have it, in the end middle finger up in the air, pants down so they can lick his ass because he is the man !
We grow up fearing the wolf and the snake, adoring the bear and the lion, what the fuck people ? wolves are not that dangerous as bears are, without snakes we would have rat plagues and other nasty problems, nobody says to pet a snake but don't fucking kill it when it crosses your path, he is more scared than you are. You know what a snake thinks when he sees a human ? the snake thinks about growing a pair of Usain Bolt feet and run the fuck away, or kick humans in the nuts !
Pay great attention what you tell you kids, they might have huge problems later in life, kindness, respect, friendship, wisdom are things which must be earned, a minimum amount of decency should suffice the rest must be earned.
Most of these things come from religious interpretations and are not compatible with the modern society, teach your children to live in the real world not some fairy tale trap, do them a favor and prepare them.
While educating listen to this:
Wednesday, April 06, 2011
Tranquility ... because it doesent make any sense.
Lately I realized that my way to handle things which don't function as they're supposed to is with anger an rage, but not anymore. Honestly I will stop caring that much, screw it, at work things look like shit, my office colleague is a grey whining and very moody fuck, a few neighbors managed to piss me off in the past, my beloved fiance likes to tell me the same thing 10 times in a row just because she likes to hear her talk, family ... I take them as they are. Not worth getting sick over something which doesn't matter at all, instead I will action calm, If I don't like something I will try to change it and make things better for me, everything with a smile on my face. Revenge and uber badass fist pummeling are things of the past, abusing these pages with angry writing is still awesome and I will keep doing it because is entertaining and I find it funny.
We people are a funny kind, we try to take the weight of the world on our shoulders, make things runs, fix this, fix that, schedule spare time (what the shit ? my spare time does not need any planing, if I feel like washing the dishes or answering my phone I will do it, if not screw it let me enjoy my stinky feet or whatever)... nano boogers swimming against the stream.
Most will think that being calm is a sign of weakness, actually remaining calm is a good exercise of self control, which could be useful at some point. Yesterday one of my colleagues asked me if I could help him and assist as a witness because the police is about to inspect his car which he bought from his brother who is suspected of dealing drugs and stuff. My colleague was terrified absolutely freaked out, the guys from the organized crime squad were acting friendly trying to get as much information as possible from my colleague, played a bit with his head. Since I was not involved I didn't care so I was calm and could observe how they were playing him. Turned out the car was clean as a whistle and my colleague calmed down,they took us "down town" for the paper work. The police hq in my town is pretty busy, special forces in stand by (packing automatic weapons), shackled crooks taken for auditions, people crying ... bloody depressing. I almost felt guilty only for being there. There we were, the police men turned off the best friend behavior and became ignorant and didn't really care about us being there the past 2 hours for just 2 statements. I had to use the toilet, one of them asked me to wait for another police man to come in the office because he has to show me were it is, so I waited for 30 minutes until I could take a piss. Without noticing I went mental I started to talk with the people in that office, I mean fuck it I was there to help them and I'm treated like a sack of poss, I kept talking loud and was trying to provoke a reaction from the guys in the office ... cracking jokes about police men, well nobody said a word ! but I can't describe the looks. Shortly after we were done, they thanked us for our collaboration, signed the 2 sheets of paper and of we were(after 3 hours). Then I learned that keeping calm is a really powerful weapon.
get some rest people, find your place and let things be.
We people are a funny kind, we try to take the weight of the world on our shoulders, make things runs, fix this, fix that, schedule spare time (what the shit ? my spare time does not need any planing, if I feel like washing the dishes or answering my phone I will do it, if not screw it let me enjoy my stinky feet or whatever)... nano boogers swimming against the stream.
Most will think that being calm is a sign of weakness, actually remaining calm is a good exercise of self control, which could be useful at some point. Yesterday one of my colleagues asked me if I could help him and assist as a witness because the police is about to inspect his car which he bought from his brother who is suspected of dealing drugs and stuff. My colleague was terrified absolutely freaked out, the guys from the organized crime squad were acting friendly trying to get as much information as possible from my colleague, played a bit with his head. Since I was not involved I didn't care so I was calm and could observe how they were playing him. Turned out the car was clean as a whistle and my colleague calmed down,they took us "down town" for the paper work. The police hq in my town is pretty busy, special forces in stand by (packing automatic weapons), shackled crooks taken for auditions, people crying ... bloody depressing. I almost felt guilty only for being there. There we were, the police men turned off the best friend behavior and became ignorant and didn't really care about us being there the past 2 hours for just 2 statements. I had to use the toilet, one of them asked me to wait for another police man to come in the office because he has to show me were it is, so I waited for 30 minutes until I could take a piss. Without noticing I went mental I started to talk with the people in that office, I mean fuck it I was there to help them and I'm treated like a sack of poss, I kept talking loud and was trying to provoke a reaction from the guys in the office ... cracking jokes about police men, well nobody said a word ! but I can't describe the looks. Shortly after we were done, they thanked us for our collaboration, signed the 2 sheets of paper and of we were(after 3 hours). Then I learned that keeping calm is a really powerful weapon.
get some rest people, find your place and let things be.
Thursday, March 17, 2011
Spring ? hyper activity, pre marriage stress and fucking tsunami's
Finally ! thank you ! spring is here !!! We had quite a long winter over here and it sure sucks when you have to pay the gas bills, honestly ! I'm thinking about installing a stove in my apartment and not a wood burning stove but the type which runs on garbage, plenty of garbage around. The outside warmth feels pretty good, light clothes and sneakers make my body happy but my eyes have a lot to do these days ... the ladies lost the winter outfit also, some are obscene and nasty and they make my eyes bleed but others are a real delight for the fellow men sight. Why deny this ? everybody likes beautiful people and people like to be admired there is nothing wrong with this as long you don't whistle, pinch, make use of pathetic pick up lines, behave like a horny boar ... just chilax and enjoy it like a gentleman.
So yes ! definitely yes and hurray for the warm sun, longer days, smiling smart dressed good looking people, cherry tree flowers, bicycles, walks in the park and the holly daily shower ! A quick boooo ! towards the junk and dust left after the last winter and exaggerated outfits (yep you all dressed in white, brand matching spaz I'm talking about you).
Overall I'm in a good mood, me and "Awesome Dog" took a walk last Saturday, we conquered the "peak" of my childhood which haunted me with awesome dreams the whole winter ... some pics of our adventure:
On the other side my lady is buzzing like the hard working bee that she is, taking 100 different tasks only to fall exhausted in the bed at end of the day, of course after I deliver my magic. She took over the wedding preparation, while organizing the crap out of it she gets sleepless nights and of course I get woken up also ... it is stressful I know but these things should be fun they don't need to activate premature Alzheimer's and drive you mental. Everything will be fine at the end.
OW FUCK ! poor Japanese bastards, seems that the bloody wave was not enough, some nuclear power plant is about to blow into fuckshards ! I really like the jap's they are hardworking, well educated, most of them have the knowledge of common sense (other nations are missing this one)... awesome people which make cool high tech stuff. Hope they manage to get over this tragedy because they don't deserve this shit, I fell sorry for them. I have theory regarding natural disasters and high developed countries, they are not compatible, you will ask why, I tell you why ... Japan got itself a tsunami colonic and now we are all threatened by a nuclear disaster, why the fuck didn't that tsunami hit the coast of lets say Senegal, mud huts are cheap and easy to rebuild, but noooOOOOooooOOOOooooOOOOooo lets mess with Japan instead.
high five ?
So yes ! definitely yes and hurray for the warm sun, longer days, smiling smart dressed good looking people, cherry tree flowers, bicycles, walks in the park and the holly daily shower ! A quick boooo ! towards the junk and dust left after the last winter and exaggerated outfits (yep you all dressed in white, brand matching spaz I'm talking about you).
Overall I'm in a good mood, me and "Awesome Dog" took a walk last Saturday, we conquered the "peak" of my childhood which haunted me with awesome dreams the whole winter ... some pics of our adventure:
On the other side my lady is buzzing like the hard working bee that she is, taking 100 different tasks only to fall exhausted in the bed at end of the day, of course after I deliver my magic. She took over the wedding preparation, while organizing the crap out of it she gets sleepless nights and of course I get woken up also ... it is stressful I know but these things should be fun they don't need to activate premature Alzheimer's and drive you mental. Everything will be fine at the end.
OW FUCK ! poor Japanese bastards, seems that the bloody wave was not enough, some nuclear power plant is about to blow into fuckshards ! I really like the jap's they are hardworking, well educated, most of them have the knowledge of common sense (other nations are missing this one)... awesome people which make cool high tech stuff. Hope they manage to get over this tragedy because they don't deserve this shit, I fell sorry for them. I have theory regarding natural disasters and high developed countries, they are not compatible, you will ask why, I tell you why ... Japan got itself a tsunami colonic and now we are all threatened by a nuclear disaster, why the fuck didn't that tsunami hit the coast of lets say Senegal, mud huts are cheap and easy to rebuild, but noooOOOOooooOOOOooooOOOOooo lets mess with Japan instead.
high five ?
Alanis Morissette - Hand In My Pocket from cristian gatti on Vimeo.
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Life style !
What does it mean ? Is it the way you chose to live your life ? or perhaps is our life style part of the great appearance stunt ?
Appearance stunt ? of course we all act in society and this act is meant to mask some a frustration or unfulfilment. We see sophisticated people, high class brauds, walking around like they just won all distinctions known to mankind. This behavior is just an act and if you get to socialize you'll see what I'm talking about. We all see huge villas with fancy cars parked in front, golden lions guard the entrance, cheap Venus from Milo replicas in the garden, rare breed dogs ... these are signs that the owner might be a homo with a small knob, status symbols are meant to replace the consistency of the owner. Take the Versailles palace for example, everything is so pretty there, great gardens, nice architecture but the owners were HIV positive inbred decayed teeth stink ass flea bags ... high society ? fuck off !!!
If you fail as a person you need to compensate in one way or the other.
Real cool dudes also known as rock'n rollers don't need this bull crap, they will screw the hot chicks whenever they feel like and all the tough guys become fan-boys.
This is the case of Mr. Kilmister, he must be one of the meanest motherfucker out there ... actually 49% motherfucker and 51% son of a bitch to be more precisely. This guy's awesomeness comes back from the 60's when he was a special groupie for Jimi Hendrix. Why special ? because he was the one scoring amphetamines for him. Besides the great achievement of surviving the 60's as a groupie, touring the world several times with his outrageously bad ass band know under the name Motorhead he managed somehow to keep his feet on the ground. Now in his late 60's he lives in a rental apartment, plays video games, punches the shit out of any base guitar, drinks 12 bottles of JD for breakfast, smokes Marlboro red, hot women are miraculously attracted by him, spends days in some cheap musician pub ... all these when he is not touring the universe or teaches music to bands like Metallica. Ok ok my whole point is that you don't need to act like a fucking brat just for the sake of fitting into the high society. He can afford to be natural if you like him he likes you, if not don't even bother.
Some considered that Lemmy's life is interesting enough to be filmed ... here is the trailer:
If you want to see something honest watch this movie.
Appearance stunt ? of course we all act in society and this act is meant to mask some a frustration or unfulfilment. We see sophisticated people, high class brauds, walking around like they just won all distinctions known to mankind. This behavior is just an act and if you get to socialize you'll see what I'm talking about. We all see huge villas with fancy cars parked in front, golden lions guard the entrance, cheap Venus from Milo replicas in the garden, rare breed dogs ... these are signs that the owner might be a homo with a small knob, status symbols are meant to replace the consistency of the owner. Take the Versailles palace for example, everything is so pretty there, great gardens, nice architecture but the owners were HIV positive inbred decayed teeth stink ass flea bags ... high society ? fuck off !!!
If you fail as a person you need to compensate in one way or the other.
Real cool dudes also known as rock'n rollers don't need this bull crap, they will screw the hot chicks whenever they feel like and all the tough guys become fan-boys.
This is the case of Mr. Kilmister, he must be one of the meanest motherfucker out there ... actually 49% motherfucker and 51% son of a bitch to be more precisely. This guy's awesomeness comes back from the 60's when he was a special groupie for Jimi Hendrix. Why special ? because he was the one scoring amphetamines for him. Besides the great achievement of surviving the 60's as a groupie, touring the world several times with his outrageously bad ass band know under the name Motorhead he managed somehow to keep his feet on the ground. Now in his late 60's he lives in a rental apartment, plays video games, punches the shit out of any base guitar, drinks 12 bottles of JD for breakfast, smokes Marlboro red, hot women are miraculously attracted by him, spends days in some cheap musician pub ... all these when he is not touring the universe or teaches music to bands like Metallica. Ok ok my whole point is that you don't need to act like a fucking brat just for the sake of fitting into the high society. He can afford to be natural if you like him he likes you, if not don't even bother.
Some considered that Lemmy's life is interesting enough to be filmed ... here is the trailer:
If you want to see something honest watch this movie.
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