Place for thoughts

Status symbols

2012-02-01T22:11:00.006+02:00

Status symbols, things meant to keep apparences of wealth, prosperity and succes in general, we all want to be successful and be our own boss. How I see these things ... well this is how:
Big suv for driving around the city - small cock, lousy sex life, needs a stool to reach the door knob
Obvious brand clothes - absolute lack of good taste just a slave to the brand, no character
Fancy pets - stupid owners which probably don't know nothing about them, pet ends up running the show
Go to a classical music concert for mondaine reasons - idiots without taste in music
Play loud music from a car - no friends (they like to hear you when you talk)
Over dressed and heavy makeup wearing women - poor souls seeking a better life
Excessive talk about books - never red more than the gossip page in the Sunday news paper, but seen the movie
Jewelry worn in excess - worthless piece of meat craves for a sense of value
Meatheads - as scary as a balloon
Fine arts connoisseur type - owns a copy of the Mona Lisa
Vine eccentrics ( not sommeliers, they are awesome) - serve them piss in some fancy bottle they won't know the difference
Brag about charity - imbeciles
iThings - never had great toys as a child
Talk loudly - nothing to say
Fancy job title - loser, if you want to impress me tell me you're a doctor, astronaut, scaffolder, mafia hitman or whatever ... floor manager sounds a lot like an overrated janitor
Send the kids to the school of arts - fail as a parent, let your kids discover it
Mediterranean style house - complains about the gas bills in the winter
Really expensive watches - can those control time ?
Get seen in the hotspots - no self respect, I wouldn't have an over prized coffee on the side of the road
Trophy friends - people might think I'm smart/cool if I hang with X
Trophy wives - your days are numbered

I love to ask these people for favors, they are to proud to say no, even if its a huge effort.

This is how I feel !

Bazinga !

The awkward moment when ...

2012-01-18T18:45:00.002+02:00

... I sweep the snow off my car and a turbo hyped bitch asks:
Cunt - where do you live ?
Great guy - excuse me ! are you talking to me ?
Cunt - Yes ! I'm talking to you ! where do you live ?
Great guy - why are you questioning me ? who are you ?
Cunt - you park your car here and I've seen you entering the block across the street !
Great Guy - Usually I can't be bothered answering to fucktards like you but today I will make an exception, this parking lot is a public space, free off charge for everybody to park here, not yours not mine ... get here before I do and you can park here without me yelling at your sorry yellow hair covered face.
Cunt - we live here !
Great guy - ok ! look this is stupid I will just ignore you !
Later as she took her car for a drive I was just in time to occupy the only available lot, the one she left, something tells me she cried tears of blood.
Last morning, again I was sweeping my car before work, a wanker pulled next to me lowered his window and spoke:
Wanker - Are you aware that we live here for a while now and during the night something might happen to your car ?
Pissed Off Guy - Oh really ? why is that ?
Wanker - because bla bla bla park your car here bullshit more crap bla bla bla
Pissed Off Guy - Look dude its a public space yap yap yap
Wanker - don't tell me politics and common sense I'm not interested in this !
Pissed Off Guy - Oh yeah motherfucker ? get out bitch ! I swear I'll punch your face in, you like it wild and rough ? I can do that !
With his wife and 2 kids yelling in the background he got out, I told myself I will choke hold him if he tries to get physical ... well a fucking bad tempered tall midget got out of the car, approached him really threatening (getting really close, violating private space type of shit) asked him what is he going to do ... I had to back up for my cock was poking him in the face. The guy started shaking and babbling, its disturbing to see a father and a husband shitting himself in front of his family. Left him there and resumed to cleaning off the snow.
Not enjoying these kind of things at all but I was never bullied by nobody, if he is stronger just go mental ! bite, throw stones, grab his throat just don't sit there like a bag of bones ! Fortunately it wasn't the case here but I wont park my car elsewhere, fuck all !
Can't understand how do these people think, how much of a dumbass can one be to act like this ? They can't handle their pathetic lives but act tough guy and set rules on public domains !
Good thing we're about to move away, it might keep me from doing something stupid, because I'm really pissed about this shit !

Buckets !

2012-01-12T19:14:00.008+02:00

When life gives you lemons, squirt the lemon juice in everybody's eyes ! most likely that's an unpleasant thing, it is how it is, I often find myself letting my anger out on my dear ones. Ok these are lemons and they make us sour.
How about sweet and juicy oranges sold in buckets for a ridiculous price (less than 5$ for 7 kg) at a local supermarket ?
Just like these:

The following happens: people go ape shit borderline insano deep-trance hardcore mentally bonkers ! ORANGES fucking ORANGES IN A BUCKET, use elbows, push, squeeze and start verbal fights without loosing sight on the oranges, eyes on the prize motherfuckers ! The rule is that you can fill a bucket with oranges but they have to stay in, I've seen the pyramids, I've seen some nasty and desperate shit until now but I was never confronted with a pyramid of oranges reaching out of some cheap bucket. The cashiers deserve a prize for keeping calm, each time the conveyor belt moved oranges were dropping hard, those greedy fucks couldn't keep them all and the agony of loosing 3 oranges was priceless. Like I said before I've seen some desperate shit so far, I've seen a toddler girl stealing a bag of cheesy puffs from one of her mates, she went with it in a corner and while the other kids and parents tried to take the bag away she shoved in as many as possible ... just like a hyena, but instead of blood, her face was covered in a mix of snot saliva and cheesy puff crumbs ... had a wild sparkle of joy in her eyes. Just before Christmas I've seen a geezer eating a kiwi in the grossest way possible, while waiting for his dame to do the groceries, he grabbed a kiwi squashed it with his hands the juice was pouring down his hands on his jacket and was was munching on it like a fucking savage ... never paid for it. Still these two events were nothing compared to the "oranges in a bucket" incident, fuck my life that behavior is the proof that there still is a savage part behind all the civilized thing. What are the effects of eating a shitload of oranges ? besides long shifts for the guys down at the sewage treatment plant, will everybody's skin turn orange and look like the mongs from Jersey Shore ? I could make a joke about a guy named Karl Pilkington and laugh how his head looks like a fucking orange but Karl is to majestic I would say godly in comparison with those apes. A cheeky cunt in her twenties tried to sneak out some other stuff hidden between the oranges (hiding something in a transparent bucked is like hiding behind a wire mesh fence), security took her away for a quick anal gang rape.
Burn them with fire !

Verdict 2011

2012-01-09T19:02:00.010+02:00

Each year begins with great expectations, planing ahead, looking forward for whatever, corporations set targets, the advertising industry uses the same tricks (make a huge fuss, announce the latest and best products ... release them before Easter or summer holidays, use the same strategy in summer release before Christmas) same story over and over again. 2011 was a busy year for me, great year for some reasons crappy year for other reasons.
Ladies and gentlemen I present you my 2011 my expectations and accomplishments:
1st the most important things and my impressions:
- my birthday: I'm a moderately spoiled thing and my birthday represents a major event each year, you know looking forward to receive nice presents ... major disappointment this year.
- our wedding in June: to hot, to much of a headache, glad its over.
- our honeymoon: both of us agreed that a proper vacation is to be taken every year, proper shagging twice a day, no cooking, no laundry, no hassle, visit new places be different for two weeks (thinking about making this our family motto)
- my mother had surgery: fuck everything, she needs the best doctors doesn't matter what it takes, definitely worth the effort she made a quick recovery and she is well now.
- Us embassy and visa: one of my dreams came true just in time not to turn into one of my biggest frustration, yes ! we are able to relocate to the US ... I've heard something which sounds somehow like "each achievement creates more problems" but that is still to be found out.
2nd my impressions and comments on the 2011 movies I've seen so far:
- X-Men: First Class: mneh improvement for marvel
- Thor: does my hair look alright ?
- Super 8: felt asleep
- Limitless: drugs yummy
- Rango: good one
- Sucker Punch: wank material but still crap
- Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides: disappointment
- The Way Back: was tired, it kept me awake loved it
- Adjustment Bureau: my doorknob wont turn the other way !
- Red State: yeeeeha for possum stew
- Paul: brits they are funny
- Hanna: interesting, worth watching
- Water for Elephants: 1 thing ! the fang fag ruined the movie
- The Veteran: again british = good
- Hangover 2: gross and a dude looses his finger but its okay
- Bad Teacher: gave me a bonner
- Horrible Bosses: the only thing I can remember are Jennifer Anistons legs
- Friends With Benefits: they fucked didn't they ?
- Colombiana: don't bother
- Our Idiot Brother: liked it
- Warrior: the good brother wins
- Killer Elite: 2 wankers take over SAS
- Moneyball: cant understand baseball the movie is motivating
Were are the people like Kurosawa, Tarantino and the other awesome directors ?

3rd music releases and expectations:
High expectations, nothing worth writing about, the skrillex dude might make it legendary. Okay there was a lot going on in the music industry, some got back together some broke up, some released new albums and others changed their stage name but nothing important. Oh that chick genius od'd.

4th video games:
- Skyrim: arrow to the knee ... seriously this one made it the game of the year ?
- Portal 2: felt asleep while playing
- Diablo 3: wait a minute ! or a week or a few months till it gets released

5th events which will make in the history books:
- the fuss in Egypt: hope they wont blow off the pyramids
- Libya: America and Europe need oil, arm the rebels and kill the womanizer
- The Japanese shake down and nuclear disaster: I like the Japanese and there is no fun to be made in that direction.
- Royal wedding in the UK: who the FUCK cares ? mine was more important
- Osama bin Laden: took a bullet while sleeping ! legit bravery

6th (should be 2nd) I rediscovered the joy of cycling, the joy of owning nice bikes and cycle equipment, actually this is one of my plans for this year get proper bikes and equipment. The joy of listening to audio books, pod casts, comedy shows on a decent pair of headphones (more about this in another post), its just great to have a long hike/ride/walk and listen to something interesting.
Thats about it ! Not worth mentioning overrated things like the iPhone 4S, the new BMW 1M or the most overrated of them all that Ken Block twat ... bitch please win a wrc series 1st, after that you can priggle around in your shitty boiler on wheels.
2012 is supposed to deliver the Armageddon, mayans ...
cheer up !

Knobbing about

2011-12-31T14:45:00.006+02:00

Ahhh lovely its that time of the year when families come together near the dead tree (which by the way stings like a motherfucker), sing carols, everybody talks at the same time and all of the sudden this eggnog driven cheerful family decides to unwrap the presents. How pretty is everything wrapped, how neat are Santa's elves (why did my auto correct change Santa into Satan ?). We start unwrapping, a drunk voice shouts from the other side of the room "just rip the damn wrapping paper, you can't use it again anyway, you stingy worm !", my wife insists to buy nice presents for everybody, by nice I mean expensive, I don't mind buying something nice if I know I will get something equally nice in exchange but usually its not the case. She made a lot of fuss about the presents this year, we bought nice things together and I bought some nice things for her ... guess what I ended up with a fucking shaver, the classic oversize pajama and some sort of sock I can wear on my head. Its not fair after all the hassle, sitting in traffic, queuing, cleaning and generally being a nice lad for Satan (it did it again, santanist tablet !) to end up with a sock I can wear on my head, for fucks sake ! Honestly I can't be bothered next year, a pair of socks a mug which says "Happy Hanukkah" and a cassette with carols, they better pretend they love my gift !
On the 2nd day of Christmas we visited some relatives and somehow they don't seem to understand that I don't like to drink, again I'll have a drink with people I like but not with them, because me being drunk is me making unpleasant comments and having a disorderly laugh by myself, friends would understand they wont.
Today being the last one of 2011 we prepare for the new years eve and we are going to this spa with some people my wife knows and I'm not really happy to mingle with. It will pass soon enough 00:00 happy new year bla bla yeeay (indifferent face) ... go home, done. Texting or sending out messages bothers me the most, people send me a lot of them, I'm never in the mood to do it and it pisses me off that by receiving text messages I feel obliged to answer in the same manner, cheerful words and rubbish like that. Whats wrong with people sending text messages ? if you want me to be happy send something over, invite us to your shindig, come over if you are a girl or send your girlfriend or wife to rub me one for the sake of that particular holiday, you know so I can see you meant it !
I had this week off work and plenty time to do what I want alone at home, amongst other things I got to read a book called "Earth (the book)", the guy who wrote it (Jon Stewart) was taking a piss at the by then extinct human race, aliens would read a guide we left behind which approached various topics like religion, society and stuff. Another thing I realized while having a walk is that dogs like to take a shit in clean and dry spots, the weather was miserable huge puddles everywhere and I was walking on the curb for being higher and cleaner except the curbs have piles of dog shit all over them.

Yeah well this is it for 2011, I don't know what to say lets hope things will turn out fine for everybody.

Willie Nelson - "Superman" from Luck Films on Vimeo.

Where the nut trees grow

2011-12-10T15:17:00.003+02:00

How is it that the crème de la scum hangs out in the same places in every town/city ? Never seen a train station without homeless persons, beggars or freaks escaped from the circus. Have you ever seen a farmers market without those fashion failures (cowboy boots, tight dirty jeans, tucked in shirt exposing chest hair and the occasional rib, gold necklace with a $ medallion, rings on each finger, mullet and gold teeth) lurking around for a deal ? I would talk about cemeteries also but I'm quite sure no hobo or creepo would try to make a living around a cemetery in any other country because I'm certain no widow would bring cheese cake in the cemetery to feed the homeless, its true we don't have to many crazy cat ladies nor obsessed pigeon feeders but its customary to feed beggars and bums ... lets be honest now ! we are a dog loving nation, cats are pretty much extinct and the pigeons, well they are delicious. How can a generous soul make charity in these conditions ? feed cheesecake to the homeless !
Back to the hot spots, yes ! its understandable they try to make a living there because its crowded and everything but for fucks sake don't let them sleep in the waiting area, some are really well disguised as travellers (hauling around huge bags full of stuff) and how can you kick out a traveller waiting for his train ?
- I'm a traveller mother fuckers ! there's no showering and washing machines in travelling, I'm the original globetrotter ! homeless my ass ! please sir can you spare some change? the atm won't accept my american express black card !
Serious business with these globetrotters, they seem to miss each train and in addition they try to out stink each other, biohazard warfare, students tried to rebel against Gillette agreeing upon a no shave November ... tsss kids. This might be a part of how society works, place a bunch of actors in front of each train station and pay them to act "the aristocrats" joke:

Imagine seeing this in front of the train or bus station (its not far from the truth)? The other day I was talking with a fat friend of mine, he is also a movie maker known as Michael Moore about this idea of mine, this everything might be a corporatist idea in order to prevent the labour migration, disgust the adventurous worker form the moment he enters the public transportation station, don't provide decent restrooms the good old hole in the ground is enough if you miss it at least wear brown trousers (closed shoes are suggested), the transport means are kept running for the illusion of freedom but are uncomfortable and stink ... all this in order to prevent people from getting the wrong idea while visiting their parents.
The same story goes for the markets also, it can't be that nasty for its meant to sell food and such but the mullet dealer will harass any potential customer making the place uncomfortable and drive the sheep towards the corporatist super markets.
Markets, train stations are dusty smell bad, if you want to meet a nice lady you need to drive to the outskirts of your city at some dodgy parking lot for trucks that's not fun ! Why not live in a park in a pretty place like I do, I sell drugs in a night club, at least as a tosser there I get to wear perfume and my teeth have a sexy shine in the black light.
For a great lust packed drug and alcohol driven experience please check out one of my new favourite TV shows called simply but so elegant "Skins", make sure to avoid the US version just get the original UK one. After this nothing will seem out of line trust me.
So Christmas is about to happen again lets listen to something nice from my personal stash:

mneh ...

Everything goes !

2011-11-29T17:48:00.003+02:00

Here is the thing, for a while now I'm fascinated with the behavior of people and how everybody pretends to be disgusted by subjects involving porn, cheating, drugs, personal kinks, fetishes, addiction and other stuff. I've been looking around, at faces, tried to figure out how persons act in order to hide their true nature, how they try to beat natural instincts with discipline, some act pretty well while others are ridiculous. To make this more clear, for instance I know a guy who pretends to be interested only in the serious things in life and pretends to be guided by morality without exceptions and apparently is not interested in gossip and cheap entertainment. It happened I had to send some E-mails form his computer (at his workplace) and while looking after the documents I had to attach to my E-mails, I was surprised to find a download folder full of porn and fucked up music (oriental rhythm, lyrics about money, cars, women, love, enemies, broken heart similar to trash rap, performed by gipsies), I was amazed ! I had to look deeper and went for his browsing history ... damn ! he used that pc for porn only, who would search for "alien porn" or "mail-order porn stars", do I need to mention the stack of celebrity magazines on his desk ? The opposite happens with persons who are identified as being involved in the wrong activity, how come that all gold diggers and known whores are interested in science and charity ? they need to balance out the rot with something noble. I'm pretty sure I wont find a quantum physics treaty on their pc either. However I don't blame nor judge anybody but it creeps me how well we conceal our true nature and how judgmental some are ... its pure guilt and the fear of being discovered triggers a violent response !
Nobody should go balls out and admit he's a glue and gossip addict, some restrain is mandatory but in a friends circle when all others talk about their experiences with substance or affairs should be okay to share and that is the best way to realize that nothing freakish is going on with you, other people are doing it too and its fine as long as it does not cause any harm or is abusive towards others ... in that case one went to far and probably need to be put down. For a few years now I'm reading a website called reddit.com, people publish funny pictures, openly talk about different subjects in a civilized and objective manner(most of the time), users publish "ask me anything" "I am a" "today I learned" topics and by the anonymity offered by the internet, questions and opinions are shared without to much judging (again most of the time, there are exceptions also). I've seen some interesting things going on there, from "IAMA Area 51 former employee AMA" or "AMA my grandmother was a secretary in the project Philadelphia, she will answer your questions" to "AMA I'm a guy who had sex with his sister" <----<< ok this went to far, I'm not judging him but its kinda sick.

I was stunned by the amount of serious questions and the guy answered as many as possible, pregnancy scares ? or have you ever been caught ? everything was asked and from the comments I could tell people were pretty cool about it, some pretended to have "a weird boner" ... the discussion went on and on until some guy pointed out that the story was actually a hoax. There is a need to be able to talk freely under the protection of anonymity this could actually help a lot of people and if the subject I mentioned before was tolerated, then where is the limit ? everything goes under anonymity ? it shouldn't be such a surprise then if you find out your parents are married just to be in line with the society and live a secret life.
Regarding reddit.com ... its an awesome tool if you want to get an idea about how people really are and this not in a bad way.

Good ! this being sorted ! lets listen to this:

Lyrics: wubwubwub nehnehweeh yoi yoi yoi whabwuhb

Modern disease

2011-11-20T11:02:00.002+02:00

Ever since our pitiful existence mankind fought against disease using various techniques. Primitive shaman cures with groovy hallucinogenic herbs, medieval procedures involving unwashed hands, big hammers and pliers, creepy Victorian surgery, forceps and God knows what else was used to cure various physical affections. With the invention of antibiotics people were pretty much saved and free to overpopulate the planet, the deadly diseases these days kill people on the long run and are not transmissible. In this pink world some twater decided to get mentally ill, others followed him with various sorts of loony odd conditions and here we are people have psychological issues. The doctors tried to figure this out and came up with a gruesome treatment which involved shoving a fucking long nail in your eye (called orbitoclast) in order to mess with your brain(prefrontal cortex more precisely)and eventually calm the fuck down any hyper mental ninja ... I proudly present you with the banned practice of lobotomy. As the mentals did not fear to get stabbed in the eye with a needle the procedure was replaced with medication and nowadays we have medication for everything and everybody can rest assure that his illness is under control. Adjustment disorder, borderline intellectual functioning, antisocial personality disorder, bibliomania (bookophile), conversion disorder, selective mutism (when you cant speak to women ?), exhibitionism, kleptomania (perfect excuse, right for persons who want a career in burglarism ), learning disorders (I had this one, I had it treated with a vigorous whack over my head from my dear mother), narcissistic personality disorder (people in love with themselves), megalomania, tourette's syndrome (fuck fuckity fuck fuck fuck) ... you name it, it exists and somebody is getting treatment for it ! rad right ?
I'm not talking here about serious illnesses like autism or sad stuff like this but is this self induced imaginary things people like to suffer from, come on ! you can't just walk into a shop steal something, if you get busted you show a medical evidence for kleptomania and you are free to walk, this is muffed up ! common sense should tell you to stop. I'll tell whats the problem here, people are bored everything is so comfy these days, no wood to chop, no cattle to herd, no neighbors to fight over the water source, plenty of time to let your head mess with you. Yes ! this is why I like to keep myself busy so I wont have the time to think about my suitable disease. Tried my best not to be affected by these modern conditions but while keeping my mouth shut, my eyes closed, my ears plugged and my hands in my pockets something might have went up my buttox straight to my head and its messing with it. The whole moving over to the US gives me thoughts and a lot of what ifs come along ... I'm suffering from the comfort zone behavioral state which is linked to some anxiety condition fancy schmancy. Basically my melon is telling me that I should not take any risks because its pretty good right here and how comfy my life is, my answer to that is fuck it ! its a pathetic excuse to myself for not being awesome like Barney Stinson. I gave it some time and lectured some articles about this condition and it turned out this behavior is a genetic remain from our cavemen ancestors which had good reasons to fear foreign and unknown places, food, water and shelter were a major issue back then, our world right now is pretty safe, almost risk free if you mind your business. Others say that its dictated by an entity in the brain, well they must be bored or suffer from one of those sad conditions I'm not making fun of. My own and personal opinion about this "comfort zone" is that its related to a certain routine which works for me and therefore I feel good but not accomplished, I'm a pretty open person willing to try new stuff, improve myself within my capabilities, profit from opportunities ... almost everything is worth trying, we're here for this long after all.
Alright ! from cheesy to badass industrial with my mates from Rammstein !

Rammstein - Mein Land from Rammstein on Vimeo.

guess they are trying a comeback after the cock-up with the "Liebe ist fur alle da" album.

This is bonkers !

2011-11-14T18:28:00.002+02:00

Here is the thing ! Last week my wife and I made the 1st steps towards our new life and starting with 2012 we will begin with our fantastic American adventure, yep we are moving to the US. Our families are pretty shocked over our decision, the news of receiving the permit to travel to the US came like a punch in the gut for most of our family members, hey my grandparents are not even realizing whats going on ... they are just happy. Hell ! even my wife's cousin from Italy (she is also a dear friend of mine) won't believe it, that's probably because I kept bullshitting her every time I had a chance, made her once believe that wet willies are good for proper brain ventilation.
Even my wife, she cant imagine herself moving away, honestly this matter constitutes a bit of a problem for me also but as I know myself as being pretty good in this kind of situations I'm pretty sure I will handle it quite fine. I'm aware that my comfy period is over for a while but who the hell wants to be comfy in a place like this ? Honestly, besides my childhood adventures and some disgusting teenage situations I've got no awesome stories to tell, I want to become one of those cool guys with a healthy tan in the middle of the winter without visiting tanning saloons, cracking jokes and sharing my adventures in front of a crowd on the top of a gnarly double black diamond slope towards France in the Swiss alps , after jerking tears of joy from the enthusiastic audience I should swoosh away on my rocked powered skies. For a while now I'm thinking to work on a book were I would like to abuse my rich imagination and combine it with some actual facts ... imagination is great for entertainment but it has to be built on real events, otherwise I will end up writing a new version of the bible and call it "the last testament" perhaps "the new testament after an awesome dude with a healthy tan in the middle of the winter" or the geeky version written in magneto font "T.N.T. V.2.00" or the upper case version where every word shouts at the reader leaving people half deaf after reading the entire book.
I tell you I've got plans a whole lot of them ! you know the feeling when as a child you were dreaming about the day when you will ride your bike without the training wheels, I'm looking forward to this experience ever since I graduated high school. How would you feel if you knew you will move not just to a more civilized country but to the best city in the whole wide world ? how ? awesome right ? how would you come every morning into the office ? like a boss right ? I'm not going to become a complete asshole and refuse to work or shit like this but somehow my well being and happy state seems to squeeze my dear office companion's balls, each time he complains about some shit I tell him how awesome my general mood is and yes I do have perspective, my road is yet to be walked and what a great road it is ! The best thing about this entire story is that my favorite part of the family is already there and waiting ... pretty damn awesome !!!
That's it for now, need plane tickets !

Hello again, to all my friends
Together we can play some rock 'n' roll

I must admit this as being my guilty pleasure for the past week, I'm not really into this "umts umts umts" music.

Approach on meds !

2011-09-19T17:27:00.005+03:00

Now this is something worth pausing my video game for, it's actually outrageous ! I'm talking about medicine adds on tv and medicine adds in general. 1st of all why do they need to advertise meds on TV, if your doctor prescribes something you will get to the pharmacy and buy that exact type of pill, not a purple one not a swarovsky crystal engraved one and of course not the one you've seen on the teli last evening. I mean what the hell? Are there people buying pills just because the've seen a man riding happily a horse which recommends them to be wonder pills ? I don't know what to say ... If you can't ride your horse or sit properly you might have some problems with your shitter, there is also a great chance for you to be diagnosed as being a faggot, which sane man rides his horse smiling ? all male horse riders are the mean tough as a coffin nail type (except the mafia underfed midgets known as jokey's). Of course if you're aware of your gay illness I would suggest to change something in your personal life, forget the stud, go asian maybe ?
Back to the TV commercials, things get messed up people, I know a few persons which buy their sight glasses from the market, honestly they go there to a gippo witchdoctor and try on a few glasses ...
"oh lovely these fit my left eye just fine, is there a chance to switch the lenses from other glasses ?"
"no switch ! buy both for 5$"
not the ideal way to chose your spectacles, with the courtesy of TV adds encouraging self medication any knob polisher can become a doctor. Maybe there are enough reasons to discuss about some conspiracies how the secret organizations like the sadomasochists plan to kill as many as possible to keep the planet for themselves. The main reason I chose to write about these commercials because I find it disturbing that in almost each one of them appear a few kids playing, ok kids are awesome but what's the message behind a spot with some children playing in the back yard, the children fade in a grey image and something like "PROCTO CLEAN, CLEAN AS A WHISTLE" appears. Do those children need to take a crap ? Will you take a crap like a child ? I don't get it but please do not use children in your upcoming anal bleach add.
Look here ...

Are the pills in that funny colored box for the children, I would have some if I were a child, why the hell not if that cool dude needs them to pop the bag in his grampa's face I'd love to pop a bag in my grampa's face also.

Chasing ambulances

2011-09-13T21:54:00.002+03:00

Woke up this morning at 4:30 am in order to take a work related trip, I was heading towards a town which is almost 400 km away. I need like 12 hours to go there do the stuff I have to do and come back but to do so I can't just drive the car I need to pilot it ! Morning ... streets empty, I went for it ! felt like Clint Eastwood in the wild west, guns blazing pedal to the metal kind of shit or volle pulle how my German friend like to call it. To bad we don't have the autobahn here but instead we've got some dodgy pieces of asphalt with a white line in the middle we like to call national roads. Anyway at some point I had a ambulance in front of my car, the ambulance was on a mission with lights and sirens the whole circus in effect, the ambulance driver was beating the shit that Mercedes van (pretty fast things with turbo charged diesel engines) but still he wasn't fast enough. I was thinking how bad would it be if I would overtake the ambulance, after all if I follow it people stay out of my way but if I stay behind it at 120 kph (in a 50 kph area) I will lose time. WENT for it ! I was so pumped it didn't matter I was overtaking on a double continuous lane and over a pedestrian crossing doing 150 kph. My fun ended swiftly when I saw a police car monitoring the traffic, the police man didn't even managed to get out of the car I had my signal lights on and was about to pull over.
The dude came out and asked me if I knew what I did ... well I knew to well but I needed a god excuse to keep my license and not get a great money penalty. As I was carrying some industrial stuff with me (a pump and some other parts) I told the cop that my behaviour is justified as an emergency also (like an ambulance wtf!) because I'm carrying those equipments to a hospital in a certain town which needs them that morning for the people coming in for their dialysis. Of course I admitted my offence also. The cop was thinking and thinking (I almost shat myself) ... than he spoke:
- Look I wont let you go just with a warning, I will fine you for not having your fog lights on and you also need to promise me you will behave.
- Yes KIND SIR ! I will ! were do I sign ?
- Thank you ! bye !
After I got a fine worth the equivalent of 10$, I thought I was on my way to catch up with the ambulance ... and I did too ! at nearly 1 km away from were I was fined, an underpaid asshole (exactly like I am, I was a selfish moron dumb twat for driving like that) tried to climb a tree with a company branded Chevrolet Spark, he lost some teeth in the process, the ambulance was for him. Well I've arrived home 2 hours later than planned, but I'm here writing about it, not in some hospital sipping my dinner trough a straw. Bad road manners kill people ... I've had enough !

This suits this topic:

Iggy for president !

Them shepherds ...

2011-09-11T15:21:00.012+03:00

Shepherds massive wankers that's what they are, forget those nice tales about the kind shepherd which saved the universe, its a pile of manure, another folk tale were kids are teached to trust the figure of the kind shepherd. Reality differs, they are a bunch of unwashed, nasty smelling, hermit wannabes, drink a lot, sheep fuckers. The reason I got to hate these antisocial dumb asses is because they know to ruin a perfectly great day in the nature, each time I go for a hike I need to look out for the shepherd on duty and not for dangerous snakes, wolves or 3 headed chimeras ... nooo shepherds are the natural enemy of the hiker, they hate hikers !
As you probably figured it out already I live in a 2,5 world country (not 3rd world country because you can actually see obese people around, you know they're rich if they're fat) and trying to make the best living as possible here and take advantage of everything, the County Council opened a few bicycle tracks around the town I live in, stellar idea ! OK I got a go a couple of weeks ago on one of the tracks, fancied it and asked my lazy wife to join me (not work shy lazy but running after a ball lazy) next time. We went together today, nice autumn weather, nice forest, after we managed to get over the uphill part of the trail we had a great downhill ride ahead ... but after a few hundred meters the path was blocked by a fuckload of sheep, I went 1st and asked my wife to keep close, suddenly out of nowhere 4 shepherd dogs started to bark and chase me, I'm not really scared of dogs but I'm not comfortable with 4 ginormous white canines of death chasing me, what the holly trinity of swear words should I do ? pedal my way the fuck out ? get of my bike and fight them with my bad breath ? ... instructed my wife to follow me, made sure all 4 mutts were following me and I went absolutely mental full speed charging any dog in my way and also kicking any of them attempting to take a bite out of my boots. They chased me a while and stopped then I looked back if my wife was there ... of course she thought that if all 4 of them were chasing me why should she keep close and make a getaway together, right now I was so damn pissed I took a heavy piece of wood shaped like a katana and went back with the intention to kill those fucking dogs and the shepherd, fuck it its self defence, he lets lose his aggressive dogs on a public hiking trail, I will shove a piece of wood full of splints up his ass. After a while my wife came towards me, riding her bicycle like she just came from the flower market and she was like why did you pedalled so fast ?.... bloody hell !!! because If I had stopped to check my mascara those dogs would have probably given me a violent nose and butt cheeks jobs. Anyway I'm glad we came out unharmed, obviously she got scared and scared + stupid = freeze, thanks God the dogs came after me and not after her, she only weights 44 kg (you can tell we are not rich).
Now back to the shepherds, the dogs are innocent honestly, they bark and bite for a living, but here is the catch, I will kill any dog trying to bite or kick my ass, and most likely I will torture anyone which lets loose his mental ill dog, no bullshit !syringe pit (saw) style !
Right now I'm thinking to announce the police and let them know that an illiterate retard has 4 titanium teeth psycho dogs walking freely on a public track. From now on I will carry with me a can of bear mace, spray the living will out of the dogs and go after the jerk who feeds them. Glad I managed to take a few pictures from our trip, enjoy:

afternoon sleep on!

Hookers will be hooking

2011-08-24T09:16:00.007+03:00

By means of extraterrestrial forces I've been caught in the relationship crisis vortex of some people my wife calls friends. Somehow my wife got attached to this colleague of hers, never understood why but for a period I was forced to hang out with her and her many boyfriends which couldn't make it trough high school. Each time she broke up with one of them she quickly managed to find a replacement, each time this happened my wife was happy to bring these dandy novelties to my knowledge. Same story over and over again:
"you know she met this guy, he is really great, he is so kind and talks so gentle with her, he brought her a sandwich at the pharmacy today, he likes hiking and skiing just like you do, we need to go out with them so that you can meet him"
I must admit it I felt for this trickery to often, we went out, I got to meet the new guy, "look Andi he likes hiking just like you do" (frankly I don't give a shit about anyone's hobbies) amazing ! I'm glad for you new dude who likes to hike, your name is more than enough for the 1st forced contact, I use to forget their names anyway. With no exception the new dudes loves to get into a dick measuring contest with me (just like 2 dogs which met for the 1st time on the playground and play the "who's the alpha mutt" game) talks loud and plenty, makes references to his awesome friends, big money topics are never avoided. Gently but surely I like to guide the conversation towards our jobs and employer ... oh well this is were I get an idea about what kind of people I'm dealing with and even if you are a poet being a driver or a night guard can't be sweetened up. So basically that's her league, van drivers for some construction companies and night guards I've seen now a few of her boyfriends and all had this type of job. Right know we are facing a horrible break up story on one side and a fresh romance on the other side, while the left boyfriend calls us desperately trash talking my wife's colleague she invites us to meet the knew stud in her stable, I'm pretty feed up with this drama. The left one considers he is the victim and in a desperate attempt to win our friendship (I don't know why, my signs are pretty clear to fuck off) he pours poison in my ears and occasionally tells me some crap his bitch of an two faced ex-lover thinks about me, my wife and our marriage. This sounds like a mexican soapi staring 1 twisted to much make up wearing cunt, rabidly neurotic ex boyfriend, a new white trash van driver and the couple which makes an appearance once each season on the Christmas episode playing the better family. I got to grew up with different kind of people some were like the sun you couldn't watch them without sun glasses because they were brilliant, normal people, looking like whip cream chocolate cake but tasted like fermented manure kind(and the other way around)and obviously the "not worth my time" envy filled haters, due to my overwhelming experience with people its pretty easy to see whats behind the shit load of make up, she will get a t-shirt which says “Sympathy one receives for nothing, envy must be earned.” She probably wont get the allusion but I will enjoy it because I'm awesome and still feel the need to improve myself, envy update ftw.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The fucked up part above had to be documented to make sure I won't forget my ideas but now something awesome:
The Red Hot Chili Peppers will release at the end of this month called "I'm with you", I posted the new single on my previous intervention, looking forward to listen to the entire album. More stellar news ! we bought an iPad 2 which I fancy, still need to buy an epic noise-canceling headset from AKG, which are badass.
Now look at this guy, he doesn't give a crap

New language pack

2011-07-31T10:34:00.004+03:00

I anticipated this situation but I hoped it wont ever happen.
As I'm not really happy with my current geographical location I want to move somewhere else, another country, another continent, another time zone (50 years forward on the scale of civilization). Now ! right now is the perfect moment to do this, I had a meeting with a few peoples which offer counseling for emigration, things got really clear, me and my wife are eligible for the emigration process but we need to learn french. Actually I need to master french as good as possible since I'm the main applicant and my knowledge will be rated higher. I've studied french for about 6 years during primary and high school but my teachers were a bunch of miserable communists trained to keep their pupils away from capitalist cultures. My french knowledge was pretty much close to zero but I manned up, bought a few books and I'm learning french now, the language I knew as being impossibly repulsive is actually pretty easy to learn and its a refreshing activity after a boring day of routine at work. I'm really happy because I feel like I'm making consistent progress but still I've got a long way ahead, my wife likes it also even though she finds it hard to pronounce certain words. Not sure where my motivation comes from, I'm in a complete disagreement with almost everything what's happening around me, the sum of certain factors ignited something in me.
So french it is ! I will walk this road and see where it will take me ...

Fin !

Salty honey moon !

2011-07-21T09:51:00.008+03:00

Shortly after our epic wedding we went in our well deserved honey moon, our 1st choice was a place in Italy called Cinque Terre, five isolated towns on the coast of the Mediterranean sea, the only mean of transport between these five towns is by walking 10~12 KM between each town on man made paths through the mountains along the coast. Of course incompetent travel agencies which make their living in my town couldn't offer us a vacation there so I wanted to organize everything by myself ... unfortunately there was a risk of remaining without a hotel room at some point and I wasn't comfortable with this.
Like every boring and freshly wed couple we decided to spend our honey moon in Turkey, an absolutely unexceptional destination. If you like annoying little black people which want to sell something that's the place for you !
Our honey moon started once we arrived at Antalya airport, pretty nice modern building, we took a bus to the hotel, on the 40 minutes bus ride I could observe what kind of people are living there, a lot of garbage on the side of the roads, shanty town architecture, occasionally incoming traffic on the freeways (which in my opinion is proposturos). As we approached the area were the hotels and resorts are, we could see fancy vegetation behind tall fences and thick walls, it's a weird feeling if you drive through a shanty town like area towards a high class resort. Easy check-in at the hotel, we had a nice room overlooking the swimming pool and the sea, we arrived just in time for dinner so we went down in the restaurant and got something to eat, great variety of food therefore choosing was hard and it got even harder as days passed and we discovered the grill bar or other places in the resort. After a quick walk around the resort we crashed in the hotel lobby and got some drinks. Next morning ACTION !!! took a couple of sunbeds, my wife was sunbathing as I was reading a newspaper which I got for free in the airport or took a swim in the sea. Everything was great and quiet until a mob of entertainers stormed the beach, inviting everybody to take part on various activities, riffle shooting, water gym, water polo, boccia, darts and what not ... awesome. It went like this every day at one point I realized that the people in the entertainment team were the same each day, it didn't matter if it was Sunday or any other day of the week, I took a closer look at the other staff members, bartenders were the same, waiters the same, basically people there were working at least 16 hours shifts each day, that seemed disturbing and I felt sorry for them. As days past I got to knew some members of the staff and I couldn't help myself and I asked whats the deal with those shifts, indeed they are working 16 hours shifts, 6 days/week but they get to stay in the hotel and eat in the hotel restaurant like the tourists do and they rotate between various working areas each day (this guy was a bartender, and during the week he works in 5 different bars, the poll bars is the busiest). I gave it a thought and its actually not that bad, they get to keep their earnings, don't need to pay for food, water/electricity/gas bills. Another thing that bothered me there was the massive waste of food, some of the fucking tourist like to fill 5 plates with food will taste from each plate and walk away leaving a good amount of food which has to be thrown away. I guess the untouched food gets donated or served again at dinner but what about those leftovers ? since Turkey is not a pork eating country they can't feed their animals with those leftovers or maybe they process the food later. My wife insisted to visit a few places, our 1st trip was in the great city of Antalya, pretty nice, turned out that the garbage on the side of the road was meant for filling for the roads they are about to build, those shanty towns are actually new towns in development (that area was barren until the 1980's German investors raised the 1st resorts). Ok I must admit that I was about to lose my temper when we visited some leather store and a fucking dipshit of a sales guy managed to piss me off, he tried to sell me a leather coat (which was ugly by the way) at the great price of 1500 Euro's, he went to far and I told him to shove it up his ass because I won't buy it unless it comes with a matching porn studio. Same story in a Swiss watch and jewelery store were my wife was the pray for the sales person there. The second trip was a more organized group trip, a nice boat ride on a damn cold river, later we sailed from that river into the sea ... great trip ! we got to see a mosque, the biggest mosque in the region and I was impressed that the Muslims are really decent, if that mosque was the biggest one in that area were the main city had almost 2.000.000 inhabitants than we Christians are a bunch of ridiculously proud douche bags, I know at least 3 churches in my town (150.000 people) which are bigger or at least equal to that mosque. I've also learned a lesson on that trip, avoid fellow Romanians by all means,we are a damn maggot eaten nation instead of feeling love for each-other we hate our guts ! At the hotel I used to hang out with some Polack, Ukrainian and Russian dudes because I didn't knew about any other Romanians there, well plenty Romanians because I've seen them before the trip, believe me nobody talked to nobody, everybody was so damn important ... not nice. In general our honey moon was fine and relaxing, I'm not a fan of these kind of holidays, to much sun, to much food (everything tastes the same), not a great variety of activities, close to zero cultural value ... at least my wife learned how to swim and learned to enjoy an awesome pool.
Some pictures:

The adventures of Rain Dance Maggie:

wait what ?!?!? I'm confuzzled !!!

2011-07-18T20:23:00.005+03:00

Here is the situation, I was talking with one of my friends today about how far would a person go to earn money, good money ! since those "run naked across the town", "eat a piece of shit", "bang a disgustingly ugly old, fat and decaying twat" are a little bit to childish, we agreed upon talking only about badass tasks or challenges suited for mean bastards ... like I am !
I don't like other people telling stories, so I'm always the 1st one to talk and when I'm done I'm not listening what others have to say ... because I'm already in action with my groupies. So I told my friend my idea of the ultimate task for 1.000.000 Euros, 1 year in prison ! he said its not worth it, I got angry and if I think about it I would probably do 1 year for 100.000 Euros. 100.000 just for sitting around and waiting for a year to pass ... easy money ! if you look at it as a fucked up job which pays well, I would do it without hesitation. The question is how would I get the money ? rob a bank ? shank some old lady and drive off with her savings ? guess my badassery only goes so far, but as an experiment founded by the government were one has to live 1 year behind bars.
So if you are a dictator or the president of some country which has to give away 100.000 Euro's for 1 year of prison ... I'm your man !

People are to afraid of hard challenging tasks or jobs which leads to an overall state of mediocrity, we need to man up and embrace whats coming for us, profit from each opportunity, go braveheart crazy in any situation !!!

35 Celsius ...

A wedding on the nightmare street !

2011-07-10T17:56:00.013+03:00

Like previously announced I will make some pleasant and some unpleasant comments about what was my ... our wedding. My wife lived her entire life just for that day, she and her family planned almost everything, while me and my family were kinda pushed to the side, my mother suffered in silence a few days, my father and I ... we didn't care to much. With a month before the great event we were told that a wedding planner had to step in in order to straighten the shit up, we got to meet her and we got to talk about our preferences regarding the upcoming event. I've made it clear from the start, I'm not hot for following bullshit testicle grinding traditions, 1st because I hate useless traditions invented by some menopausal goiter ill lesbians from hell; 2nd because I'm afraid of fainting, I use to faint as a self defense technique which I've learned from a kung fu goat. The wedding planner was slightly surprised about how low profile I want everything to be, no chocolate fountain (these are vomitingly gross), no fireworks, no cheap bands (I would've loved to have the Stooges and Iggy Pop), no soap bubbles machine, no leprechauns, no narwhals ... basically no bollocks !!! She asked me if I was a rocker ... what the fuck lady ? do you do special weddings for rockers ? these were just a few questions which ran trough my mind instead I told her I'm an example of modesty and known for my good taste in almost everything (my tears taste awful, taste like purple eyes, smashed molars and fractured skulls combined)and as you might have already figured out I was not a fan.
As time passed the inevitable happened and believe me I enjoyed every moment, my lets say mother in law got in a clinch with the wedding planer and man that was awesome the poor lady had to do her job but under the strict iron fist supervision and that made the result driven self motivated wedding mastermind to calm the fuck down.
My only job was to hand out the wedding invitations(self made and awesome) and of course swallow the pathetic excuses some had for not showing up ... uhm you know I would love to come to your wedding but I'm planning to get a prostate exam ! thank you oh holly deity ! my scum bag of an office colleague had to get a lobotomy in that particular day.
The bride and the groom need to ask another two couples to become their God parents (traditions right?), ever since I know myself I wanted to pick a couple which I really admire and I managed to do that and .... they accepted ! hurray ! my ex office colleague she is one of the smartest and coolest woman I know and to top that she is a doctor in hydraulic engineering, her husband is a very pleasant/funny/great to talk to/ happy to advise/ entrepreneurship enthusiastic/ planning on retiring as a wealthy playboy ... words are not enough, great people ! My wife chose her cousin and her husband and she is more than welcome to talk about them on her own blog.
Fast forward to the day ! Sunday morning, very warm, we were expecting everybody to come over and take part to the wedding ... I was so relaxed until I saw my God parents and a few friends at the door ... it was on ! oh shit! oh shit! I got really nervous and sweaty, my heart started to beat faster and faster, drinks, pictures, more sweat ... I was about to call everything off, I would've rather went for a swim in a nearby lake than getting married. So with a knot in my stomach and a carrot up my ass we all went to get the bride, more family there more best wishes, more cheek kisses, more drinks ... the bride was ready and the groom with his family had to go and wait for her to the church without seeing the bride. Once we arrived at the church more friends were there and I felt like a demon possessed 14 year old girl which is about to get exorcised by the Vatican all star team. I had pain in my chest, I was dizzy, I was thirsty, finally my mother walked me to the altar shortly the bride followed, I never liked brides they creep me out but there she was, this one was one of the most beautiful one I've ever seen but still I couldn't forget my physical and emotional condition. Now here is something I despise, a groom can't see his bride in the wedding dress before the wedding because it brings bad luck, well fuck this ! fuck the jerk who invented this shit, I almost fainted because I didn't knew whats coming for me. The priest did his part very well he was quick and funny. At the restaurant the usual deal some drink their brains away and plan to walk home even if they live 50km away, others dance without interruption, some steal my wife and make me do a funny dance to bring her back .... well been there done that got the T-shirt, I wont repeat it again, check out some tweaked pics:

So that's about it two trolls got married !
Funny thing is that everybody asks if something changed between us after the weeding, I would say yes it did, somehow we can't agree on our future steps in life and it pisses me off that she has nothing planned, no dreams nothing to reach for and has this negative attitude towards my well intentioned plans. Before we used to keep our private shit private now we talk about it with various characters and I don't like it. Don't know what to say hope the situation wont degenerate into something ugly.
Here baby this is for you:

Don't ruin everything !

Ok maybe I'm a bit dramatic, next one about our honey moon in a land were people get to work 16 hours shifts !

Bazinga !

Snitch on your neighbors

2011-06-09T08:41:00.009+03:00

One of my colleagues brought in the office a fancy GPS device with a high resolution camera built in, on 1st thought it seemed a waste of technology but its pretty clever actually. Why ? well ... for instance you drive to see your grandma and a random douche bag driving ... uhm lets say an Audi A6(Audi's are the douche bags cars of choice) thinking he is The Humungus from Mad Max 2, you can take some pictures even record his road manners and send the footage to the police. Normal drivers do things like this in civilized countries and for a middle finger in the rear view mirror you might lose your drivings license, your finger or even get blown the fuck away from the road in US civilized countries like Iraq.
Mad Gibson Max @ the steering wheel:

So ... since we've got a new mayor in town the moment would be right to apply some revolutionary methods, that might work properly. Like the whole snitching on road attitude we could implement a system which rewards people who report other peoples misbehavior's. I've got a few hairy twats in my block which prefer to dump the garbage in the street bins and not in the domestic garbage containers, I could easily catch the whole thing on tape and send it to the authorities. Lets say the fine for improper garbage disposal is 200 Euros and the finder could get 50 Euros as reward ... in this conditions everybody is happy the local council gets 150 Euros, I get my 50 Euros and the neighbor will learn to respect the basic rules for living in a civilized community. This ratting thing (as in hunting rats) has all the chances to work and provide everybody with decent incomes for a long period of time, there are plenty neighbors with disturbing manners,plenty car owners which use the side walks or green areas as parking lots, wife beaters, dog walkers who forget to clean up the Mars bars left behind by the dogs, wankers who like to eat sunflower seeds on a bench in the public park and leave a mess behind and the examples are endless.
The beggars will get video cameras and snitch on every single misbehavior they can spot. At the end of the day the authorities will receive great amounts of money and the savage citizens will think twice before wiping their asses with somebody else's hand.
Great face expression mr. Pussy Muncher Mayor Catalin Chereches ... I take it you like my idea.

oh dude I've got a few pictures with you parking your car on the pedestrian crossing !
were the fuck are my spectacles ? my eyes are pissing all over !

Stay tuned ! next episode your hero and life model Andi gets married and almost loses his life while doing so (with pictures !)

Dark and welcoming ...

2011-05-16T10:23:00.009+03:00

It's not the story of some cooch's hospitable asshole ! It's rather about cities in ex communist countries. I've seen most cities in my country and also some cities in other more developed and richer countries. I could be a hypocrite and write some positive patriotic crap about the great tall buildings in my countries cities, how our grandparents paid with sweat and blood (sweat and blood ? how nasty must a sweaty building smell like ?) in order to raise our colossal administrative buildings and housing blocks. Some busted their balls to get shit built and so they did, they built some horrible grey as fuck dusty unpleasant and uncomfortable high maintenance architectural failures. A certain architecture pattern had to be followed in order to have the same sadness in every city, the overall sadness is like a "zombiefication device" for example my much hated office companion's portrait is like the facade of this public facility:

grey, shady, sweaty, cold, pissed all over, without a colorful past ... depressing !!!
This explains the low rate of patriotism, people are not proud of their hometowns ... the playgrounds for children are still messed up, rusty, with enough sharp edges to scalp the joyful rats.
Traveled recently to my country's capital, arrived there pretty late, everything was so warm and welcoming, the buildings looked fabulous, everything seemed so neat, trees, vegetation just awesome !!! I was hyped !!! my friends told me not to get fooled, I didn't payed attention, the apartment were I lived in had an awesome view ... lights, many lights, pretty lights !!! Went happy to bed just to have a fucking shock in the morning !!! were did that awesome city go ! what about the vegetation and the trees ? ... grey ! everything was grey and sad again. Believe me this was the main city of grey, even the flowers were gray ! Almost pissed my self while being stuck in traffic there ... I hate that place !
Saturday evening my soon to be wife took me out to the "white night at the museums" event in our town, again everything seemed to be so beautiful during the night, warm lights, a lot of people having a relaxing stroll, they played some great music in the art museum, brilliant.
I was wondering if she noticed the charm of the night in the city, told here about the shock I had in Bucharest and surprisingly she thought about the same thing. How much a different color tone, some shades can affect our perception of reality. Starting with last Saturday we decided to become vampires, mysteriously cool nocturnal beings just like the twilight/true blood mega awesome characters. I'm already using eye liner, powder my face so I look ridiculously pale in contrast with my all black clothes.
If you're wondering what the fuck is this all about just take in consideration the part were I was to the museums and think how well educated and fucking awesome stud I am.
Cry here:

Do your kids a favor !

2011-04-10T00:48:00.006+03:00

Hah ! favors they come in different shapes and prices, are the expensive ones the most valuable ? or the free ones ?
It's 00:51 and I had a long day to think about it, woke with the remains of a funny dream .. I dreamed about my childhood, my funny, always sunny childhood and I guess I will remember certain episodes all my life. We had an elderly couple as neighbors and for some reason they always liked to pick an argument with us, there was always something, playing to loud, made a mess with paper cornets which we blew out of plastic tubes, sometimes we missed our slingshot targets (usually placed under a window), they made us feel guilty. The lady was pretty large and man was as skinny as a thin wire, 1st we named her "the wale" shortly after he became sharky. Me and my childhood mates used to hang out in front of the block's entrance especially on hot summer afternoons, that place seemed cooler, we stood there and played card games, reading french comics and do what boys usually do. Like always when we had fun, the aqua couple picked on us, not sure whether they went to far that particular time or our balls grew. Started yelling about some flowers which dried out calling us worms and loud rats in the process, we talked back, called them by their small names, reminded something about her eating everything while her husband leaves for soda (soda was the shit back then, we had a stainless steel 10l canisters which we filled at a neighbors shop) and leaving him hungry. At some point they had enough and went back inside, but we continued with the attacks, we attached an apple on a long stick and used it to bang in their windows while singing a song about fishes. Of course when my parents came home from work they were informed about my deeds and well I couldn't sit right for a few days ... they even made me apologize (which was embarrassing).
The whole point of this late night writeorama is that as a child I was always told to be kind, respect others, say please/thank you, wash my hands, don't swear, fear the wolf the snake and the gypsy. If you ask me some of these teachings would be useful in a fantasy society but not the one in which we are living and therefore are just a load of moral and ethical bullshit !
For instance why should I teach my kid to respect an abusive grownup, abusive could mean a lot of things for children are really sensitive, does the age grant the right to behave like a brain dead salad tosser ? never heard of such rights !
We are living in a competitive society am I right ? why should I teach my child to be calm and kind say please and thank you ? no ! I wont do it, instead I will tell him to get whats his and take it before everybody, don't ask for permission if he has the right to have it, in the end middle finger up in the air, pants down so they can lick his ass because he is the man !
We grow up fearing the wolf and the snake, adoring the bear and the lion, what the fuck people ? wolves are not that dangerous as bears are, without snakes we would have rat plagues and other nasty problems, nobody says to pet a snake but don't fucking kill it when it crosses your path, he is more scared than you are. You know what a snake thinks when he sees a human ? the snake thinks about growing a pair of Usain Bolt feet and run the fuck away, or kick humans in the nuts !
Pay great attention what you tell you kids, they might have huge problems later in life, kindness, respect, friendship, wisdom are things which must be earned, a minimum amount of decency should suffice the rest must be earned.
Most of these things come from religious interpretations and are not compatible with the modern society, teach your children to live in the real world not some fairy tale trap, do them a favor and prepare them.

While educating listen to this:

Tranquility ... because it doesent make any sense.

2011-04-06T10:11:00.007+03:00

Lately I realized that my way to handle things which don't function as they're supposed to is with anger an rage, but not anymore. Honestly I will stop caring that much, screw it, at work things look like shit, my office colleague is a grey whining and very moody fuck, a few neighbors managed to piss me off in the past, my beloved fiance likes to tell me the same thing 10 times in a row just because she likes to hear her talk, family ... I take them as they are. Not worth getting sick over something which doesn't matter at all, instead I will action calm, If I don't like something I will try to change it and make things better for me, everything with a smile on my face. Revenge and uber badass fist pummeling are things of the past, abusing these pages with angry writing is still awesome and I will keep doing it because is entertaining and I find it funny.
We people are a funny kind, we try to take the weight of the world on our shoulders, make things runs, fix this, fix that, schedule spare time (what the shit ? my spare time does not need any planing, if I feel like washing the dishes or answering my phone I will do it, if not screw it let me enjoy my stinky feet or whatever)... nano boogers swimming against the stream.
Most will think that being calm is a sign of weakness, actually remaining calm is a good exercise of self control, which could be useful at some point. Yesterday one of my colleagues asked me if I could help him and assist as a witness because the police is about to inspect his car which he bought from his brother who is suspected of dealing drugs and stuff. My colleague was terrified absolutely freaked out, the guys from the organized crime squad were acting friendly trying to get as much information as possible from my colleague, played a bit with his head. Since I was not involved I didn't care so I was calm and could observe how they were playing him. Turned out the car was clean as a whistle and my colleague calmed down,they took us "down town" for the paper work. The police hq in my town is pretty busy, special forces in stand by (packing automatic weapons), shackled crooks taken for auditions, people crying ... bloody depressing. I almost felt guilty only for being there. There we were, the police men turned off the best friend behavior and became ignorant and didn't really care about us being there the past 2 hours for just 2 statements. I had to use the toilet, one of them asked me to wait for another police man to come in the office because he has to show me were it is, so I waited for 30 minutes until I could take a piss. Without noticing I went mental I started to talk with the people in that office, I mean fuck it I was there to help them and I'm treated like a sack of poss, I kept talking loud and was trying to provoke a reaction from the guys in the office ... cracking jokes about police men, well nobody said a word ! but I can't describe the looks. Shortly after we were done, they thanked us for our collaboration, signed the 2 sheets of paper and of we were(after 3 hours). Then I learned that keeping calm is a really powerful weapon.

get some rest people, find your place and let things be.

Spring ? hyper activity, pre marriage stress and fucking tsunami's

2011-03-17T11:37:00.017+02:00

Finally ! thank you ! spring is here !!! We had quite a long winter over here and it sure sucks when you have to pay the gas bills, honestly ! I'm thinking about installing a stove in my apartment and not a wood burning stove but the type which runs on garbage, plenty of garbage around. The outside warmth feels pretty good, light clothes and sneakers make my body happy but my eyes have a lot to do these days ... the ladies lost the winter outfit also, some are obscene and nasty and they make my eyes bleed but others are a real delight for the fellow men sight. Why deny this ? everybody likes beautiful people and people like to be admired there is nothing wrong with this as long you don't whistle, pinch, make use of pathetic pick up lines, behave like a horny boar ... just chilax and enjoy it like a gentleman.
So yes ! definitely yes and hurray for the warm sun, longer days, smiling smart dressed good looking people, cherry tree flowers, bicycles, walks in the park and the holly daily shower ! A quick boooo ! towards the junk and dust left after the last winter and exaggerated outfits (yep you all dressed in white, brand matching spaz I'm talking about you).
Overall I'm in a good mood, me and "Awesome Dog" took a walk last Saturday, we conquered the "peak" of my childhood which haunted me with awesome dreams the whole winter ... some pics of our adventure:

On the other side my lady is buzzing like the hard working bee that she is, taking 100 different tasks only to fall exhausted in the bed at end of the day, of course after I deliver my magic. She took over the wedding preparation, while organizing the crap out of it she gets sleepless nights and of course I get woken up also ... it is stressful I know but these things should be fun they don't need to activate premature Alzheimer's and drive you mental. Everything will be fine at the end.
OW FUCK ! poor Japanese bastards, seems that the bloody wave was not enough, some nuclear power plant is about to blow into fuckshards ! I really like the jap's they are hardworking, well educated, most of them have the knowledge of common sense (other nations are missing this one)... awesome people which make cool high tech stuff. Hope they manage to get over this tragedy because they don't deserve this shit, I fell sorry for them. I have theory regarding natural disasters and high developed countries, they are not compatible, you will ask why, I tell you why ... Japan got itself a tsunami colonic and now we are all threatened by a nuclear disaster, why the fuck didn't that tsunami hit the coast of lets say Senegal, mud huts are cheap and easy to rebuild, but noooOOOOooooOOOOooooOOOOooo lets mess with Japan instead.

high five ?

Alanis Morissette - Hand In My Pocket from cristian gatti on Vimeo.

Life style !

2011-01-23T11:07:00.003+02:00

What does it mean ? Is it the way you chose to live your life ? or perhaps is our life style part of the great appearance stunt ?
Appearance stunt ? of course we all act in society and this act is meant to mask some a frustration or unfulfilment. We see sophisticated people, high class brauds, walking around like they just won all distinctions known to mankind. This behavior is just an act and if you get to socialize you'll see what I'm talking about. We all see huge villas with fancy cars parked in front, golden lions guard the entrance, cheap Venus from Milo replicas in the garden, rare breed dogs ... these are signs that the owner might be a homo with a small knob, status symbols are meant to replace the consistency of the owner. Take the Versailles palace for example, everything is so pretty there, great gardens, nice architecture but the owners were HIV positive inbred decayed teeth stink ass flea bags ... high society ? fuck off !!!
If you fail as a person you need to compensate in one way or the other.
Real cool dudes also known as rock'n rollers don't need this bull crap, they will screw the hot chicks whenever they feel like and all the tough guys become fan-boys.
This is the case of Mr. Kilmister, he must be one of the meanest motherfucker out there ... actually 49% motherfucker and 51% son of a bitch to be more precisely. This guy's awesomeness comes back from the 60's when he was a special groupie for Jimi Hendrix. Why special ? because he was the one scoring amphetamines for him. Besides the great achievement of surviving the 60's as a groupie, touring the world several times with his outrageously bad ass band know under the name Motorhead he managed somehow to keep his feet on the ground. Now in his late 60's he lives in a rental apartment, plays video games, punches the shit out of any base guitar, drinks 12 bottles of JD for breakfast, smokes Marlboro red, hot women are miraculously attracted by him, spends days in some cheap musician pub ... all these when he is not touring the universe or teaches music to bands like Metallica. Ok ok my whole point is that you don't need to act like a fucking brat just for the sake of fitting into the high society. He can afford to be natural if you like him he likes you, if not don't even bother.
Some considered that Lemmy's life is interesting enough to be filmed ... here is the trailer:

If you want to see something honest watch this movie.

Friends, buddies, lovers, palls, relatives, good fellas

2011-01-16T11:06:00.003+02:00

We celebrated my fiancees birthday the week before, our parents, grandparents, cousins and friends came over for a drink and a chit chat. I've always hated my birthday's for some reason, maybe because I tend to fly under the radar or maybe because I'm not comfortable with that much attention. While having a drink with our guests I was thinking about human emotions, behavior and of course how many of them are really available in the middle of the night to give a helping hand. I consider that the close relatives like parents, grandparents, cousins and so on can be called in the middle of the night and even if its kinda unpleasant they will be there for you without hidden intentions whatsoever. Blood relatives could be trusted but what about these people we call friends ?
Funny thing is that my friends are never there on such events, we don't need a reason to hang out and we don't pussy out when it come to give a hand. Still we had people over which were not family but friends ... my fiances friends. My feelings towards these people are awkward and I have my reasons. I only meet them on celebrations, trips, generally fun related activities but never when I have to move furniture. Even if they offer to help I'm not willing to accept because I'm not sure whats up.
There I was gazing into the a glass of dark beer thinking about the relationships based on a certain interest or benefit. Always thought that true friendship or a relationship between a man and a woman should be based on the perfect chemical/spiritual mix + the divine unknown ingredient ... but its not like this at all. The simplicity of our mere reality is cruel most of the times and yes all friendships, relationships follow a certain gain it doesn't have to be material. A friendship can be based on many things in which each part has a certain interest, some seek wealth, some seek wisdom, others like your humor, sex, psychological relief you name it. This made me reconsider the relationships between human beings and I consider friendships to be a way to exchange stuff.
Considering that the crap I wrote above is accurate than ... 2 identical individuals wont become friends just because there is nothing extra to gain. If people with the same goals work well together means that somewhere inside took place a successful negotiation and this could be love or the sweet taste of success, if the negotiation went wrong at some point friends become enemies ... people with same goals fighting for it instead of collaborating.
Back to our friends, probably we have to know each other better and find a way to trade.

I promised something rock and roll in my previous post ... next one !

can't get this song out of my melon

ta ta for now !

I killed 2010

2011-01-05T10:21:00.013+02:00

2010 died like a rabid dog in terrible pain and somehow I managed to recover from a gaming addiction I had for the past four months. Even though stuff was happening in my life I was busy leveling my mage to ultimate badassery, of course after a while I realized that the time I spent playing can be used doing real things.
Been last September to a work related fair in Germany, it was the largest waste water/water supply equipment fair in the world. Seen some awesome things met interesting people and of course established connections with new business partners ... some of them are pretty cool, others suck ass with their company politics and suspicious behavior, the cunts wont trust Romanians, they must have their reasons considering that 90% of Romanian business men are shady fat ass thick necked crooks. Germany seems to be a decent country, clean, civilized but to neat for my taste, they clean and arrange stuff at night instead of sleeping. I had a revelation the last day there, food affects your taste in everything, after a week of eating 1 million types of sausages with cabbage, pork soup with pork stakes and pork desert, everything became clear ... high cholesterol food provides mucho energy. Germans wont change their high protein exclusively meat based diets and if they wont use the wind in their sails by organizing blitz krieg's they will clean shit up until it shines and also hump the brutes they like to call women.
Meet the German Paris Hilton:

she modeled for my camera while I had a walk in Munich.
Late September brought back an skanky celebration in my town, the so called "Chestnut festival". Imagine an average park overtaken by Gypsy traders which use the playgrounds, bushes as their personal toilets. In this urea stench filled atmosphere some trashy bands are performing in the background while everybody is munching meat balls. Some spend 3 days in this splendid ambiance and died afterward due to extreme cases of miserable character and low self esteem.
Some of our friends got married, nice wedding good fun and everything but somehow this reminds me of my fiancees cousin ... yep she managed to piss me off really bad before the wedding. For God knows what reason she paid us a visit, I was on my computer writing some stuff for my mother and she started picking on me how much of a computer nerd and hardcore gamer I am, I was like what the fuck ? why do you even bother talking to me ?
October was the worst month of 2010, usually I pride myself with my job and always used to love coming in the office but not anymore ... I'm fucking pissed off, demotivated, knackered and not willing to be a pleasant presence anymore. The young hot shots in the company wanted to make some changes, hired a professional grumpy fucktard to support the activity and in combination with a good for nothing associate they planned world domination. Suddenly a brilliant idea of a commercial office emerged were all the people involved in such activities should be put together in the same office ... even if they work for three different companies. 1st it was presented as a bad idea which I rejected because it wont be productive to work in a tensed environment. They finally managed to establish this super office ... so here I am with Pinky and The Brain in the same office. I must admit that I considered quitting this job just because I got pushed around like a piece of furniture but since I planned to immigrate in Canada and I need a certain continuity in the field of work here I am in this lethargic state. I kinda freaked out a little bit and the idea was that we should support each others activities, fine and dandy but there is a small problem ... the new guy was hired as a general manager for one of the companies but that wanker can't make the difference between a word and an excel document, cant type, does not speak English,German not sure about Romanian he asked me a few times how to spell certain words. I'm not willing to support such a douche's activity, he can screw himself with a broomstick I'm not paid for this and I'm pretty sure he makes 3 times more than I do.
Awesome !!! at the beginning of November a fairy came to me and told me I need to go to a training 2 consecutive weekends ... are weekends free ? what the fuck are you doing ? planing my free time in advance ? made a little bit of research about this training and it turned out it wont help my activity whatsoever because it was meant for people which want to start their own businesses. In an audience with the princess I explained that this was a waste of my time and it wont help, I received an arrogant answer "This is not a democracy" ... well ok fuck you then my revenge will be so sweet. Went to that retarded dumb ass training were a bunch of lame fucks
wasted my time. Fast forward !!! Christmas was quick the new years eve was not longer than 3 glasses of JD while barbecuing some ribs. Traveled to Hungary on the 1st January were one of our friend had a horrible kidney crisis, we spent the night in the emergency room and traveled back in the morning, the plan was to chilax in a SPA complex.
Next one will be about a movie I got yesterday and if you are a true rock'n roller you will love it !
but 1st check out these 2 geezers taking a piss on the young generation ... brilliant !!!

Banzai !!!

I want to break free

2010-08-29T20:47:00.007+03:00

So I saw the other day "Filth and Wisdom" I loved the movie, Eugene Hutz form Gogol Bordello was exceptional, funny jokes, good story, even though the movie was directed by Madonna I could feel Guy Ritchie's influence. On the other had my girl friend watched SALT the latest movie with Angelina Jolie ... she was so impressed with it I had to watch it ( was hoping to see Gia again, Gia was her best role so far ).
The movie was a huge empty action balloon she kicked a lot of people around and that was it ... but these movies are not the point !
My girlfriend promised her auntie I will bring her the latest Angelina movie, which is so awesome. I expressed my opinion about the movie beeing hollow without content, commercial crap meant to entertain the zombies and told her about my movie. Of course her auntie did not agree with my comment and told me stuff like "chacun à son goût" ( everybody has got his own taste ), of course I explained how wisdom can emerge from filth, how people learn life lessons and change. The minute before we were talking about tolerance, now my taste is rubbish ? I'm so sorry but I can't reason in such conditions and prefer to shut my trap and look for the exit ... this is not how I roll. Making a point could be interpreted as arrogance. Wisdom gained, I will never ever make comments about stuff I consider worthless nor share my knowledge or preferences with certain people. If people want to eat frozen shit on a popsicle let them eat it, laugh your soul out, enjoy the show.
Can't wait to arrive at my destination, the place were I can express my self without taking other peoples opinion force feed ... get my ink, wear my clothes and be the master of my universe.

Say no to slavery !!!

Super gay or just nice ?

2010-08-27T20:52:00.004+03:00

I kinda always liked Robbie Williams, never liked "take that" but Robbie is ok . He is like a motherfucker dressed as a gentleman and some of his clips are great ... my personal favorite:

awesome hah ?

Before he rocked he played in a boy band, yep 5 fucktards singing about matching souls, dancing after some choreography and God knows what else they did. Robbie got sick of that crap had a huge fight with the band leader bye bye band.
Here we are 15 years later they thought it would be cool to make up and forgive eachother, this is the result:

Shame from RWL on Vimeo.

not sure what to think about this mess, sounds rather beetleish some say, other say the last scenes are cold mountainish ... so group reunited ? hope not !

I'm getting soft ... no wonder my girlfriends feeds me with antibiotics to kill a stomach bacteria which 90% of the planet's population has.

"Filth and Wisdom" on !

This guy is great

2010-08-23T17:56:00.000+03:00

Dalai Lama’s 18 rules for living

At the start of the new millennium the Dalai Lama apparently issued eighteen rules for living.

1. Take into account that great love and great achievements involve great risk.
2. When you lose, don’t lose the lesson.
3. Follow the three Rs:
1. Respect for self
2. Respect for others
3. Responsibility for all your actions.
4. Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck.
5. Learn the rules so you know how to break them properly.
6. Don’t let a little dispute injure a great friendship.
7. When you realize you’ve made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.
8. Spend some time alone every day.
9. Open your arms to change, but don’t let go of your values.
10. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
11. Live a good, honourable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll be able to enjoy it a second time.
12. A loving atmosphere in your home is the foundation for your life.
13. In disagreements with loved ones, deal only with the current situation. Don’t bring up the past.
14. Share your knowledge. It’s a way to achieve immortality.
15. Be gentle with the earth.
16. Once a year, go someplace you’ve never been before.
17. Remember that the best relationship is one in which your love for each other exceeds your need for each other.
18. Judge your success by what you had to give up in order to get it.

via www.textsnip.com

Elder people are annoying !

2010-08-23T17:40:00.000+03:00

Well ... they are ! just because they need to wake up early morning and agglomerate the institutions, buses, markets basically each and every place which should be free for the working class. The morning rush is not the same without the full buses. I had to get some blood tests this morning, of course early wake up to make it in time for work ... surprise surprise a fucking mob of used people was already waiting in line. Perfect way to start a week ... early morning wake up, queuing with a bunch of smelly farts, getting a needle in your arm and late for work.
I agree they are bored they want to fill their time with stuff, but they are taking it to an extreme, seriously ! why do they ask the counter lady the same question 10 times ? to get her annoyed and start an argument ? or what the fuck is going on ?
So in my country ( you know financial paradise with banned iPhone's ) elder people will be allowed out only after rush hours and their interaction with the health system will be made trough user unfriendly medicine dispensers just to make them lose hope and quit.
If you've got all the time in the world why hurry ? why leave the house so early in the morning ? drink your tea, read the newspaper, get a daily shower cause you stink ( most old people stink, not because of the age because they are fucking dirty ), open the windows let fresh air in, download tv series or do whatever.
Worst thing is when I hear them complaining about today's youth, how everything is so wrong and how good their life under the communist regime was, no shit dudes ! really that awesome ? memba the cold winters without heat and electricity, or the the empty fridge, or the fear of free speech, or living with 2 kids in a 2 room apartment, the same holidays at the seaside in those fucked up resorts, or not working while being at work, stealing everything you could ... lame right ? oh wait you made it lame and you complain about about the youth ? Allow me ! I will pull the plug on you !
Oh and please don't ask me to let you in front !!!
Take example he is old but he is cool

Up your's !

Little big things

2010-07-19T10:29:00.008+03:00

I could never understand alcoholic husbands,I used to blame them and consider them stupid. Turns out most of them are the intelligent half of the couple, trying to be efficient into guiding the other half on the right, moral and low stress path. Alcohol is not the best solution, unfortunately it starts with a regular glass of wine which serves as a mild anesthetic for the daily grind. Of course [quote]wine is fine but whiskey is quicker [/quote] but soon you'll end up looking like a 80 year old underfed mine worker. Living together with a woman proved to be a hardcore experience for me. Shit is tough when you get to argue over every little thing, I know I'm not an easy person to deal with but I can suck it up pretty good if she knows were to stop ... sometimes she wont shut up and keeps repeating the same bullshit like a fucking damaged vinyl record. If you sit in bed trying to read a book you bought 3 months ago, play your MMORPG, try to watch an episode of american dad and someone is shouting the same thing over and over again ... you might lose your temper and spend a night on the couch because you wont be able to rest besides her for being a bitch and hating her gut. Sounds like I'm really frustrated and probably I am but I will solve this problem soon, her lack of perspective scares the shit out of me and something needs to be done. Under any circumstances I wont start drinking and such but probably I will spend more time playing, reading and watching TV series.
I'm wondering how some couples manage to live in harmony without an exciting activity or awesome dreams ... for now she embraced and accepted my future plans, which is awesome and also a small victory for me. Basically this is my experience regarding my life under my own roof. I imagined that everything would be so different turns out I'm kinda loosing time somewhere and everything is exactly the same.
Everything is repeating people are exactly the same, elder folks have the same suspicious evil behavior, young chaps are like dogs guarding their territory, drunks ... each and every block has a few.
2 week holiday was a total waste of time, bored the hell out of me at least I got sleep a lot.

OK time to be grumpy ! and watch this guy drum the shit out of his drums.

Hahaha I have a face book account ... face book is for fags, ok ok I will take this one for face book
make sure people can see the nature behind ( I'm hardcore nature lover ): check
make sure they can see the brand of my shirt: check
make sure I make a duck face: check
smile mysteriously: check
get some blond bimbo's in your pictures: check
be an utterly disgusting asshole ... tongue kiss some chick in the club: check

Raining like a motherfucker !

2010-06-01T18:07:00.002+03:00

It's been now like 4 weeks of constant rain and its boring. Mather of fact we didn't move into the new apartment because we don't have internet nor TV cable yet. It's almost impossible to get any outdoors activity and sitting inside without a distraction is madness ( madness ?!?! this is boooooooring !!! ). I spent my evenings in front of the PC, browsing the web for movies, music, music videos, interesting articles and crazy french stuff.
The french are insane 1st I discovered the Invader guy and there he was Cédric BLAISBOIS, movie maker and stuff like this. He is the true enemy of people with photosensitive epilepsy, flashes of light fast scene changes and ...

"CORPORATE OCCULT" Huoratron Music Video from Cédric BLAISBOIS on Vimeo.

"FLESH" Mr Flash Music video from Cédric BLAISBOIS on Vimeo.

... hot chix in pseudo porn flix.
Beside the kinky crap the videos are interesting.
Also got some good bad ass movies like "Bronson" and "Chopper" about prison and mental sanity behind bars, pretty cool.
The best thing about being bored is that I managed to install Windows 7 ... yes my pc is like a pretty ballerina now, all fancy and stuff.

Were the fuck did I left my umbrella ?

Life as a foreigner or a life without soul

2010-05-31T20:09:00.004+03:00

A permanent struggle with myself, I tried my best to push these urges somewhere in a dark corner of my mind ... it wont work, I have to leave Romania as soon as possible. I cant complain about poor living nor lack of material belongings but I feel I'm wasting my potential, my opportunities and certainly I don't want to see my child growing up in a blank place looking up to some worthless piece of shit on TV. Everybody tells me stuff like "do you think the roads are pawed with gold there ?" ... but those empty skulls wont ever understand what I'm really looking for. What am I looking for ? under any circumstances I'm not looking for easy money rather I'm looking to master my trade, to become a skilled person, I'm looking for walks in nice clean parks, I'm chasing smiles on streets, I wish to pedal my bike trough traffic without getting bloody, I don't want to see politicians robbing the country, I want to wear my tattoo's with pride without being criticized, I want to ride a speed bike on a highway, I want to skate in skate parks without crashing into retired people, I want to sort garbage, I want to be treated in proper equipped and cleaned hospitals ... I need to live amongst civilized people. Unfortunately I've got a few set backs,
- 1st: my life companion thinks after the pattern, I'm sure she will enjoy her life like never before if we move away and she will thank me for taking the decision, kinda easy to solve this problem, if I cant make her see beyond the told stories about how hard it is to resist a life as a stranger ( told by the ones without soul, the ones which chase the quick buck ), I will blackmail her with things which she wont accept loosing no mater the price she has to pay.
- 2nd: and probably the main reason is me and me being really circumspect about all major decisions which could affect my life in an uncontrolled way, I will try to get motivation from somewhere and act, how many unskilled people from my neighborhood managed to leave and stay ... why did they managed to get a job without language knowledge, without education ? would I be able to make things work out ? yes ! most likely since I'm not shy working and capable to figure out a way to find my place.
The ideal place for me would be New York but for the beginning any other place to build my skills will do and the apartment near central park has to wait for a while.
I do have plans to conquer my self a happy life and by all means necessary I'll manage to leave everything behind and live my life as I want to, not as some like me to.
Why should I stay ? should I waste my years waiting for the change ? the rusty and broken play grounds, the student hating teachers, the high level corruption, the ridiculous health system, bureaucracy ... could my subconscious be addicted to this garbage ? My parents will suffer but eventually they will come along also.
Some day soon, it will happen and I wont change my mind.

Mr. Lemmy's poem is the perfect description for the shade of black my soul has right now

I hate ...

Natural stuff considered not moral or even banned

2010-05-20T19:53:00.001+03:00

Yeah right ! even though it shouldn't be banned I won't write about Marijuana because it became trendy to complain about the banned weed. If somebody questions my position towards drugs I'm tolerant ... dope, crack, tooth paste, mushrooms, LSD, ecstasy (mdma's), speed, PCP's, nitrous oxide, acid, methamphetamine, dextromorphan hydrobromide (dxm), cough syrup, ketamine and the rest should be legalized and served to kids also ... fuck it ! we are to many on this freaking planet anyway. Ok ! today's thought is not about drugs nor banned substances, it is about the modern society judging itself. Judging the basic human needs and catalog them as immoral, today you are immoral if you let one out, or you are immoral if you get hick ups or burp after drinking a cup of soda, way beyond immoral if you really have to take a crap on the side of the road ( milk and fruit don't mix that well ), people get outraged if you really have to piss on a tree in the park, runny noses would make each fagot puke in public ( regurgitating is as natural as taking a nice steamy log shaped piece of shit ), ohohohohoooo you become the laugh of the village if you get caught wanking (I never did it myself but I heard most people do it = normal ). Lets be honest, seeing somebody pissing or taking a crap is not a pleasant sight but its more unpleasant to hold it with terrible cramps and eventually shit yourself, and believe me not everybody enjoys taking a crap in the public. Last summer while walking in the park and old man was taking a discreet leak, a lady walking a dog in front of me was talking to her husband " look that old man is taking a piss in public, what a disgusting thing to do", few more steps they came to a halt "wait ! Rex is taking a poop", Rex took the poop but forgot to wipe and the lady had a really good comment " look honey he's got a dingle berry on his hair ... just like humans". Criticizing an old gentleman for taking care of an urgent need just to admire your dogs dingle berry the next minute is just a perfect reflection of today's society, FUCKING HYPOCRITES.
Good ! it happens but not very often to piss or shit in the public, how about farting ? A healthy person farts like 150/day and still most of us look awkward if somebody next to us can't hold them in. Does it happen to travel by train/bus, or sitting at the office and feeling the need to put some weights in your pockets to prevent an sure lift off ? Believe me ! you will fly away for not using your anal acoustics. All natural acts relief the body of toxins and bad smell, but they also produce certain amount of pleasure (if not having kidney stones or anal ruptures), this subject might be taboo in some houses but not here, we talk about what ever I please here.
Been serious enough for one day lets put some smiles on those faces, check out this guy:

Hey Hillary Clinton did it also ... he's only a mere student without clothes.
Be careful with those ass thunders you might airbrush your boxers.

Pârț !

Space invaders

2010-05-18T20:49:00.009+03:00

That's right space invaders, most of you know them as ignorant fellow citizens or rude drivers. Remember that day you walked in the park and in the middle of the alley some twat parked his SUV and you had to walk around it in the mud ? or do you know the people which like to breath in the back of your neck while queuing ? or the fat asshole which comes on the buss and stands really really close to you ?
Besides stealing your personal space the space invaders have the extraordinary capacity to steal time ... it sounds fancy but it is so, how do they steal time ?
Stealing time is really simple 1st they have to waste their own and complain about having none left, 2nd they call you while you are taking an afternoon nap ( you can afford it because you have plenty of it )and asking to get shit done for them, or requesting some utterly retarded things from you, things which they are to lazy to organize themselves.
Of course the best thing to do against these invaders is to buy a fucking spaceship with upgraded laser cannons, kill the jocks and advance to next level ... this will get you absolutely nowhere ! If you cant afford the upgrades for your laser guns nor the spaceship, no problem mate ! you can protect your personal space with a few simple tricks ( paper and pen would come in handy here ):
- get nasty if some unauthorized cunt intrudes in your personal space, pretend you know them from somewhere ( for confidence and such ) and then ... start farting, talk rubbish, act loony, ask phone numbers; credit card numbers; e-mail; home address, talk about your sexual fantasies, invent some airborne disease you've got, play with saliva, spoil the latest movies by telling how they end and of course talk about how bad they look.
Defending yourself against time invaders there is a really simple phrase which needs some training "I'm really busy right now, I've got no time", then improvise some really intricate activity which confuses them. If they wont implode like Super Mario when remaining out of time it means they were trying to cut corners. These are the bad space invaders ... which suck hairy asses !
These are the space invaders I like:
An urban art movement started in 1998 by a french guy which calls himself Invader, he managed to set up an artistic invasion around the world. SpaceInvaders.com
By means of graffiti and mosaic they took over the planet, personally I like this kind of "space invasion" ... thinking about joining them and organize a funky sticker propaganda against random parking and personal space invaders ( I'm a mean space invader, please destroy me ! )
Use this classic to get some training:

Space Invaders made by Neave Games

Meh !

I'm a geezer !

2010-05-14T21:55:00.008+03:00

Whats up mengz ?

Here I am ! about to sleep my last days in my parents house before moving in my fly apartment. I'm kinda having trouble sleeping at night thinking about having to do everything by myself, gotta be mentally disabled to move away form perfect 7 star hotel living conditions. Not even a seven star hotel can offer so much benefits like my parents house,if I was to give away 1 star / benefit Aladin's palace in Saudi Arabia would look like a joke. All hotels offer the same crap like:
- laundry, also got it at home with a guarantee that my shirt is not washed along with some Arabs stinky underwear
- food served at the table or in bed, my mom does this for me ... she wont spit in my burger
- great panorama, brushing my teeth each morning admiring a beautiful hill covered with thick forest and singing birds bring me fresh spring water to wash me face.
- fighting/martial arts events, my neighbor fights his Moldavian son in law on a regular basis ... sometimes that Moldavian tramp gets on my nerves also but Doru kicks his ass, yep Doru the neighborhood legend is my champ
- kinky strip shows, I promised some window shaver pics didn't I ... here they are, cant find the video tough :

she also does feet behind neck yoga moves to reach those hard accessible areas, but this is not a porn site ... a little bit of tease should be enough for a wank.
- freak shows, just have to go downstairs and I've got a weirdo circus, even made a poster for them:

form left to right: grandpa freak ( awesome stache dude ), daddy freak ( he only likes beer ), little girl freak ( her head will explode, air traffic will get shut down due to a cloud of no future ), mum ( no job + no period + no birth control = freak accident ... wondering about the baby )
- concierge, there is always somebody in front of the door, whether its an old neighbor with a broken hip or a gypsy man wearing heels, somebody is always there.
- internet connection, without any firewalls or "moral block"
Basically all respectable hotels should have this kind of services but which one would offer them for free ?
No worries I've planned some great activities for the new place also, thinking about opening up a knitting and a pastry shop. My future neighbors will be delighted, I mean the old but still golden babes will have to do work which they enjoy doing without money. A relaxed schedule like 3 hours / day would be enough, they could bake and knit till they go crazy. Almost forgot 3 hours of sleep that is, don't try to fool me on signing a confusing contract you old hoes !

Can't believe how much crap I wrote again, just listen to the new Slash album, if you're asking yourself who the fuck is Slash better think about who the fuck are you.
Also eat a sack of oranges each day and watch Cheech And Chong.

/done

Attention disappointing end !

2010-02-11T21:47:00.006+02:00

Good !!! now that I have your attention here are my new adventures

Hello my dear and abandoned blog, hello dear readers ... whats up ?

I wont waste any words on how hard or stressful the last period of my life was, instead I will share my latest adventure. Just before Christmas I had a huge fight with my girlfriend and also with my beloved parents and I decided to piss all over them and take life in my own hands. Went to the bank retrieved all my savings and took the first flight to UK Liverpool John Lennon Airport. The weather in Liverpool was absolutely gorgeous, not a cloud in the sky and pretty warm I considered it to be my good luck charm.
The airport was very crowded, the Queen visited Liverpool and was about to leave on her private plane ... so what more can I ask for ? warm sunny day and I met the queen in my 1st day in the great UK.
Took a cab from the airport to the motel I've booked a room for the 1st week, taxi driver was the perfect stereotype, turban wearing six fingered punjabi with an appetite for small talk and sunflower seeds. Took a quick shower, unpacked my luggage and took a nap for the next couple of hours. A loud knock in the door woke me up, it was the cleaning service, the woman opened the door with her master key just before I managed to find the keys. The maid was in her late 20's and she had some sort of a condition but still she was a really nice presence and since she was my 1st contact I asked her for directions, the town hot spots, she kindly recommended a few pubs and public places ... got dressed and off I was. I landed in downtown Liverpool and entered the 1st pub I saw the people seemed tired and bored, got myself a glass of Orange juice and while studying the people around, the bartender asked me if I'm looking for somebody, I told him its my 1st day in Liverpool and continued to talk with him about various problems. The guy was a huge thing with soft eyes and it seemed he had a fierce reputation because all the other guests who knew him behaved and obeyed his directions. The next evening he invited me in the pub for the Christmas eve celebration. I got to know a lot of people, which were ready to die for FC Liverpool, I met a few interesting ladies also but the most interesting was my chat with Collin the pub owner which offered me a job around the pub ... job gladly accepted.
The following days I spent more and more time at the pub and tried to help around to get used with the work there, Collin told me not to get involved because my job will not be as a bartender or waiter and I should enjoy my time in the pub until the 3rd of January. So there I was enjoying life, meanwhile I got a room just above the pub, rent free and close to work and I was really happy with my other neighbors which worked as "cabaret" dancers. I felt like a newborn man with a new identity, everything was so nice, my neighbors were looking after me, Colin got me in touch with different peoples which couldn't wait to see me on my new job. The new years eve party was a blast, good food, really nice women, good music, nice chit chat with my new friends. While having my 1st coup of milk in 2010 Colin came up in my room and asked me to take his car near a small village and get some things from some people, he handed me a list with items and his car keys. After a quick look on the list I thought Colin is about to set up a game room of some sort, I had to pick up 3 LCD TV's, 2 laptops, some sort of receivers, and 4 hifi video cameras. The car was an old Vauxhall with a good engine and of course with the steering wheel on the wrong side. I met one of the guys from the pub on the side of the road in that village and he took me to a shed filled with state of the art electronic equipment which were probably stolen from somewhere. Got the stuff back to Colin's and we started to put the ware in place right away. Yep I was about to work at an illegal bookie agency, which had a boxing ring, metal doors, no windows, and well placed video cameras. Work started on Sunday evening with a full house and 3 boxing matches 2 between men and 1 between women, people placed bets on horses, on fighters, on football teams, cricket games ... and like a good bookie agency most of them lost. First couple of nights were my period of accommodation and after that I received nice tips on fights from Colin and I placed my own bets which got me my pay since nobody payed me a salary. Things were so great, I was living the good life, top models had to make appointments to take me out .... felt like a British prince. Work payed really well and I could afford Mondays and Tuesdays to fly over in London for quick escapades, fast cars, expensive clothes, easy women and good food.
Fuck me ! I'm quite the bullshitter ... a fucking gangster stereotype story which gets everybody' s attention.
Well my life lately was not so interesting, I'm still working in my apartment, still having the best relationship with my family and friends, not depressed ... just busy and willing to get work done for the new apartment which became my top priority.
Winter holidays passed really quick, had a nice trip in Hungary to some aqua park which I find quite boring, January got me engaged ... yes I bought a ring and I proposed ... she accepted. The bag of poss living under my parents apartment is still there waiting for another baby. Got a new neighbor which likes to shave in the window ... more about her in a future post ( got pics and vids :D )
The rest of the world still sucks hairy donkey balls ( you are an exception )and I felt asleep while watching a pirated version of the blue alien movie.

Spring what are you waiting for ????

since we like the Brits here is a bunch of tough fags singing a song for you

/mnom mnom toothpaste

Suck on this George Michael !!!

2009-12-22T13:35:00.006+02:00

Ah ... I can't resist it !!! Christmas feeling is taking over my dark soul ... no please no more carols ... ok hereby I wish everybody all the best and happy holidays.
Please be my guest and enjoy the next Christmas carol:
CLICK HERE FOR PURE AWESOME

Anyone available to clip my toe nails this evening ?

Boiling !!!

2009-12-20T09:21:00.002+02:00

God damn it !!! why me ? why do I have to know such people ? why do such people even exist ?
I'm talking about my neighbors, fucking shanty town garbage family managed somehow rent an apartment in my block. I have a job so I wake up at 06:45 in order to get ready and arrive at the office at 07:50, usually I'm going to bed at 23:30. Since a white trash family lives on welfare without jobs, they afford to stay up late and yell at their 3 year old child which is still awake and running trough the apartment at 02:00. So I'm falling asleep pissed off which gives me nightmares and instead of dreaming about skating like a pro I'm dreaming about punching the bitch with the thin voice and her fat husband.

Revenge is on the way, I'm bringing out the big guns , I will play on 30 minutes periods a 1 minute song (my kick ass speakers + Korn - TWIST )and this will freak them out + keep them awake ... if I'm going to do this from 03:00 until 07:00 for 1 week during my winter holidays, on the 1st of January they will move out because of this and move back were they belong and were they can get some sleep

There should be no mercy, trailer trash should live in trailers or train stations. Also have a newly wed pair of fuckers which move furniture in the middle of the night, maybe he cant get it up and redecorates the apartment to satisfy his monster ugly wife.
OK !!! Fuck my neighbors, I will shove a pine cone up their ass in the spirit of Christmas.

There is one thing they can do for me and I will forgive them, they can buy me a pair of new Fusion X5's, they will keep me busy and tired.

Motherfuckers !!!

Peace and goodwill

2009-12-16T17:20:00.007+02:00

Hoes hoes hoes ... No I'm not the fucking Santa ! that's what I'm dreaming about.
So here we are almost 1 month without a single post nor rude comment from this end of the line, I guess I have a weird period or I'm getting lazier.
Right its almost Christmas and almost everybody has two things by now, the winter tires and the fake holiday bullshit happy mood. Even the thought of incoming holidays gives me the poss in my throat and fever, I know the poss is meant to spit the jolly wankers in the face and I guess the fever should help me wear shorts and flip flop on the slopes ( still have to figure this last part out, fact is I'm shaking like Duracell powered dildo if I'm wearing my summer outfit in the snow without having fever). Starting with the glorious day of 1st December its almost impossible to get some enemies, fierce business partners are willing to help, the low life family living next to your apartment behaves like a well educated elite English blue balled family, the beggars in the street wont harass if you wont give them any change ... basically everybody has a philanthropic state. I can tell you everything you see is a scam, maybe the best scam ever, each year billions of people fall for it, this sudden behavior change has 3 reasons:
1. most of the fuckers still believe in Santa and like a real Santa fan you must behave.
2. white snow, brings back old sniffing memories
3. yellow snow, your friend finished up writing your name because your small bladder can't handle your 3 letter name
3 reasons you fell guilty and want to change your life, Santa wont get you the usual set of socks, powder makes you shit your self, friends help you in need.
I can't stand to distant from all this, I changed my behavior also, I'm being a bad boy in December, I look for enemies ( only to ruin the good mood ), I don't spend money on gifts ( because I'm cheap ), I don't smile ( I use my evil grin )

Ok enough my negative half is waiting for me.

Enemies wanted, I can kick your ass, punch you in the throat, spit poss in your face ... or make you listen the next song instead some gay carols singed by a baptist choir

Last hiking event 2009

2009-11-17T20:18:00.009+02:00

A couple of weeks ago when the weather still played along we consumed our last planed hiking event and I can tell you it was a smart move.
Short briefing:
- 5 dudes
- 5 ladies
- 2 cars
- sunny weather
- backpacks
- horrible morning traffic due to "teh believers" which attend the morning preaching dressed in their best Sunday clothes
- destination: Borsa aka Romanian mexico aka mind your business aka don't go there
So there we were in Borsa ready to set off for the horses waterfalls, a quick shot of palinca and off we were. We walked for about 1 km on a narrow village road, admired the new built 15 level houses and the 2nd hand luxury cars parked in front of them.
I'm not a jealous type but these houses were freaking hideous, no architecture just like a giant piece of shit made of bricks and mortar , similar to the pieces of crap taken by "The Hulk" only not green but with a strong ginger tone ... I thought Chuck was behind this but he never takes a crap without becoming a piece of architectural art later.

I thought gangsters are smart and do smart things with their money but as we were told by some gangster granny most of these buildings are going to become hotels ... at this moment the tourism potential in this area on a scale from 1 to 10 is 3 ( there is a ski slope trough some gardens ), the housing potential is 10. After my geometry the chance to get good business with a hotel in the area is close to 0,it could get better only if they got drugs and hooker services available.
Once we left the metropolis behind we walked on a path which lead to an old and abandoned marble quarry, raw non processed marble is so awesome, the quarry looked like a huge Japanese autumn zen garden.
As soon as we started to climb some endless steep hill nobody cared about the views, the smokers were busy coughing their lungs out and the rest had to wipe the heavy sweating from their faces, we started a long and funny breathless swearing session, meant to cheer us up, a top athlete like me does need some cheer ups if not competing for a gold medal.
Finally on the top the views came back and also the mighty and impressive sound of the waterfall. My sidekicks rested a while near the waterfall until I swam it upwards, once in top I took a head first plunge in a 30 cm deep pool and we were ready for lunch.
Made a nice warm fire, we ate, talked for a while ... usual lunch in the wilds stuff.
On our way home some of us realized that the industrial amount of onions can have seriously harmful effects on the human body, so we drove 5 minutes and we had to take 10 minutes puke breaks and managed to drive the 100 + km in 4 hours. The situation got serious when 2 of my friends fainted while puking their guts out, but I punched them in the stomach and they got better.
OK I'm tired ! check out the pictures and you better like them or I'll punch in the stomach puke healer style.

They Took Our Jobs!
Dey turk awr jerbs!
DERKA DER!!!!!

Expensive cars and a bunch of brits

2009-11-16T19:44:00.003+02:00

The guys form top gear visited Romania a couple of months ago, 3 British gentlemen with a healthy sense of humor drove 3 expensive cars on the shamefully short Romanian motorways, in the dungeons under the Romanian Parliament, on gravel roads near some random gypsy village and of course on the "transagarasan" route which they had closed for filming. Like always they went over the edge a little bit for the sake of a good show and for the sake of a full pocket they had some hidden publicity for the Dacia Sandero ( which is a good car ). Take a look at the show, try to ignore the complaining and the bitching ... they are old

A good show, it seems that they enjoyed the trip in Romania but the bad parts like gypsy's all over, horse pulled carriages, lose cows, bums and all other negative scum is slightly exaggerated. The Romanian version of Top Gear they were watching in the pub. is not a Romanian show ( we don't use cyrillic alphabet ) ... a better video editing guy perhaps ?
/quoting a wise cocksucker:Driving 1450.000 euro cars in Romania is like wearing a bacon suit in Sudan /done quoting a cocksucker
the cars you advertise for may be expensive and nice but nothing impressive, expensive cars are meant to compensate for a small prick and we have a 30 cm average cock length which means 5 cm taller than Richard Hammond.

wrum wrum wrum !!!

Blogging absence, stress, armageddon and dragon age

2009-11-10T18:20:00.001+02:00

Hard times dudes !!! hard times ... never thought a thing like buying a freaking apartment can make me lose weight or get countless sleepless nights just thinking about weird stuff. Bureaucracy is our assassin, my girlfriend had some medical problems due to stress, I lost a few kilos and its not over yet. The bank and its procedures, the waiting time, the real estate agent and the notary are the secondary stress factors, money eating machines is what they are ... I don't want any Christmas presents this year, the only thing I desire is to finish this mess and I need my girlfriend to crave pussy ( Santa can you do this please ? )
In order to get a ray of sunshine in my life I had to do something and since I won't take some fancy named pills I got myself a gift in form of a PC game called Dragon Age Origins and just to get a chill out after slaying all those evil pixels I'm watching My Name is Earl episodes, a peaceful and funny TV show.
My cure seems to work, I'm eating better, I'm interested in a few books and the most important thing is that I'm getting all kinds of new ideas so my epic writing inspiration will be back soon.
Twisted period is officially over sun is shining lets commemorate it with a stellar track:

Music do! music do! music do!

Pure evil or just normal ?

2009-11-04T18:24:00.000+02:00

Usually I wont start fights or arguments but in the last couple of weeks I'm getting a bad temper with almost no reason, a wrong look or gesture can start the war machine in me ... sometimes I can tell I have an evil look in my eyes because people freak out without any argument.
While having a conversation with a sack of poss or while listening to some random fuck complaining about his life, my subconscious develops scenarios and figures out a way how to deliver a painful kick in his ball sack or a punch in the wankers ear. Ignorant fake fucks, the "know it all" type and the friendly nonsense gossip amateurs are the ones which make me wanna pull out some of their teeth. Thinking about all this hate I have towards certain people I realize I'm not so bad after all, why should I like a person which talks crap or doesn't care about what's happening around, my cruel thought are probably a normal reaction. I've noticed the appearance of this behavior after watching a few episodes of The Mike Strutter show, this Strutter guy is an old school brutish British bully with a filthy fucking mouth and has a problem with all the cock sucking motherfuckers out there.

Man I'm such a bad ass after watching this show, I will get a back piece tattooed, just imagine a set of evil angel black wings with guns, swords, knives and the fucking terminator hidden under the feathers.
Keep your kids in front of the TV, my parents did it!

Gone amok !

My habits are in constant danger...

2009-11-02T17:28:00.001+02:00

Habits ! I have a few and I'm proud of them, I see my habits as a self imposed discipline which needs to be respected. Probably I'm traumatized because in my childhood years and adolescence I refused to respect any form of discipline schedule and program so I had some problems in school and at home, everybody blamed me for not being serious enough, believe or not I was so bad at respecting a program I even forgot to smoke and eventually I quit smoking ... but now I'm on a self imposed discipline. After I wake up I take about 20 minutes into the bathroom ( brushing, washing, cleaning ), I enjoy a nice breakfast in front of the TV watching the news, get dressed and off to work.
At work I try not to get stuffed with junk food in rest I'm doing my best to become and work like pro.
Once I arrive home in the afternoon I'm getting lunch, after lunch I get 20 minutes of rest and after I'm rested I get some push ups done ( 100 ~ 120 ) and about 50 squats ... nothing fancy but it takes about half an hour. After an afternoon walk or whatever stuff I do, in the evening I'm making 200 sit ups, take a shower, brush my teeth and go to bed ... without having dinner because I'm having lunch at 4~5 pm so it should be more than enough for the day.
I'm doing this stuff for about 5 years now( with small exceptions ) and the thought of sticking to this stuff gives me a certain satisfaction.
I don't know how come but at least once a week some spacker tries to sabotage my discipline and most of the times I end up looking like an asshole because I refuse dinners or I take my time after having lunch.
This one makes me a weirdo doesn't it ? well ... I don't care, freak or no freak I'll keep doing what I think its right for me, screw ya haterz I can haz my habits

/time to move

The pirate laws

2009-10-29T07:15:00.002+02:00

1. A pirate does not ask for directions. He relies only on his gut feeling, a compass, or a treasure map.

2. Parrots are the preferred pirate companion. Monkeys are an acceptable substitute, unless they fling their feces at people. Then they are an awesome substitute.

3. When fishing, a pirate uses either a sword, a knife, or his bare hands. Use of a hook is only acceptable in the event the pirate is missing a hand.

4. Pirates shall always wear boots, except in the case of a peg leg. Then one boot is acceptable. Flip-flops are right out.

5. Pirates do not cry, except in the case of the loss of a shipload of rum.

6. When describing the size of a treasure, a pirate is required to exaggerate by at least 130%. Flowers are not treasure under any circumstances, unless said flowers are made out of gold.

7. A pirate shall never wear lipstick, nail polish, or capri pants. Actually, that kinda goes without saying.

8. No pirate shall discuss his feelings, unless his feelings include gutting a man from stem to stern and spilling his entrails.

9. A pirate should always remove his hat in the presence of a bartender.

10. During a swordfight, swordfighting insults are required. In the event both participants are still alive at the end of the fight, the participant with the superior insults shall be declared the victor.

11. No pirate shall ever wear a "fanny pack".

12. All foods prepared by a pirate must include rum, grog, or beer. Boone's and other "Wench Punch" is prohibited.

13. A pirate may never compliment another pirate on the softness of his hands.

14. No pirate shall wear a bracelet or a necklace, unless it is the tooth or tusk of an animal he killed. If in the presence of cannibals, a necklace is acceptable camouflage, but only if said necklace is made of human toes.

15. Pirate Law: Dousing oneself in beer is a perfectly acceptable replacement for a shower.

16. No pirate shall drink Grog out of a glass. Grog is only to be consumed either straight from the barrel, or from a mug heavy enough to to kill a man.

17. Three-cornered hats, headbands and bandanas are the only acceptable headwear for pirates. Fedoras, bowler derbies, baseball caps, mickey ears, top hats, sombreros, or anything with lace and flowers will be removed from the vessel-- head included. A grace period of one minute is allowed for hats looted from a tailory.

18. A pirate shall never wrap presents. The only thing a pirate gives is a bludgerin'.

19. Pirate Law: A pirate does not use the word "Fabulous". Ever.

20. No pirate shall attend a movie with less than an Arrrr rating.

21. Only a pirate is capable of killing another pirate. If you are not a pirate (let's say a ninja) and wish to challenge a pirate, they have a word for that. Corpse.

22. Pirate Law: "ARRRRRRRRRRR..." is a perfectly acceptable answer to any question.

23. A pirate does not "go shopping". Unless by "shopping", you mean "killing".

24. Peglegs must be made of timber or some other suitable wood. Plastic, ceramic, porcelain, or metal peglegs are utterly unnacceptable, simply because it complicates the use of the phrase "shiver me timbers".

25. Real pirates have chest hair. If you cannot grow chest hair, you may be a cabin boy.

26. Under no circumstances is a comb-over an acceptable pirate hairdo.

27. No pirate may ever change his shirt because it is "wrinkled". A pirate may only change his shirt if it is completely soaked in blood.

28. When drinking, Pirates may sing. "Fifteen Men on a Dead Man's Chest" is preferred. Kelly Clarkson songs are not allowed.

29. No pirate shall ever drive a minivan, unless he drives the minivan into a tavern, for the purposes of looting barrels of rum from said tavern. Upon completion of this task, the minivan is to be burned. No exceptions.

30. No matter how hard it is raining, two pirates may never share an umbrella. Pirates do not fear rain.

31. If circumstances demand a career change, a move into real estate brokerage or tax collection shall be considered a lateral move and said individual may keep their pirate status.

32. A pirate does not snuggle with an animal, unless he is trying to snap its neck. But I guess that wouldn't really be "snuggling".

33. A pirate may never wear another man's clothing, unless he first kills that man.

34. Two pirates must never share a bed or a hammock. It is perfectly acceptable for one pirate to sleep on the floor, or on a pile of treasure.

35. Pirates do not wear eyeglasses or bifocals unless they are looking at a treasure map, and even then they are allowed only a monacle. Any comments about "Mr. Peanut" while wearing the monacle are prohibited.

36. When setting out on a voyage, a pirate does not pack a suitcase. He is only to bring what he can carry under his arms, or what his wench can carry on her back.

37. A pirate does not mow the lawn. Lawns are for landlubbers.

38. Lifting or removing one's eyepatch is extremely impolite but is not considered an insult. It's just kinda gross. Likewise, one should never remove another pirate's eyepatch, except with a sword to the face.

39. Pirates never use the words "fresh" or "feelings," and certainly not together (as in "I have that not-so-fresh feeling").

40. A pirate must never visit a tanning salon. If he is not already tan enough from searching for treasure, he hasn't been searching hard enough.

41. While creativity is encouraged during any barfight or battle at sea, pirates may only use the following types of sword; falchions, scimitars, rapiers, and particularly long knives. Katanas or any other Ninja sword are strictly forbidden, unless the Pirate rips off a Ninja's arm and hurls the arm, and attached Katana, as a projectile.

42. No pirate shall ever sit on a toilet seat, for any reason.

43. Kidnapping is an acceptable substitute for killing, but only if it is for the purpose of plank walking at a later time.

44. When swimming, pirates do not dive. They cannonball.

45. Cannoneers aboard a pirate vessel are not allowed to use hearing protection of any sort. No matter what the OSHA regulations say, if ye can't stand bleedin' from the ears, you have no business being a Pirate.

46. A pirate will never wear a patch that is any other color than black; unless it's halloween. then they can wear a patch with an eyeball painted on the outside. Polka dots are not permitted under any circumstances.

47. Female pirates are allowed some exception to rules concerning hygiene and garmentry, but must make up for it by using twice as much profanity.

48. Hooks are the only acceptable hand substitute. However, they may not have secondary attachments such as screwdrivers, bottle openers, corkscrews, or nail files. These are Pirates we're talking about, not Inspector Gadget.

49. A pirate's diet consists mainly of meat. If at sea, and meat is not available, shoe leather is an acceptable replacement.

50. Pirate Law: You can't spell pirate, without "irate". There's a reason for that, so don't even try.

51. No pirate will ever, ever raise his pinky when drinking any sort of beverage.

52. Pirate Law: When choosing clothing, even if it looks dirty, or smells dirty, it is clean.

53. A pirate may ride in a rowboat, if traveling to or from his ship. Use of a Kayak is only permitted if used for cannon target practice.

54. When drinking rum, the only thing a pirate adds to the rum is more rum.

55. The official Pirate religion is Pastafarianism.

56. No pirate shall ever play wiffle ball.

57. Under no circumstances does a pirate speak with a Ninja, unless he first decapitates that Ninja and uses his head like a sock puppet.

58. When at the office, answering the telephone with "Arrrrrrr" is perfectly acceptable for pirates. Other acceptable choices are "Avast!", and "Ahoy Matey!"

59. A Pirate does not read poetry, unless said poetry is scrawled on the wall of a bathroom.

60. All women are to be referred to as wenches, with the exception of female Pirates, who can be referred to as "lass".

61. Pirates do not clean up, except when gold falls out of a treasure chest.

62. Spilling rum is not acceptable, except in the act of "pouring some out for dead mateys".

63. A pirate may tell any tale of swashbuckling without being called on the details, as long as at least 51% of the story is true.

64. A pirate may never shave below the neck. Shaving above the neck is allowed, but only if the pirate shaves his entire head. In the presence of cannibals, a mohawk is acceptable.

65. No pirate may do the arm movements for "YMCA", or engage in country-western line-dancing.

66. Pirates do not say "please" or "thank you". The phrase "Arrr, I'll probably kill you tomorrow" is an acceptable alternative for "Thank you".

67. Should the ship's bow have a carving of a naked wench, mermaid, or something of the like, crew members should not touch it. Feeling up a wooden statue is unbecoming of a pirate.

68. Pirates do not "IM". The only instant message allowed is a sword through the chest.

69. Dental Hygiene for Pirates is not a priority. Should there be occasion, however, strong rum or salt water can be used as mouthwash. Anything "minty fresh" is strictly forbidden.

70. Pirates never, ever obey laws. Period. Ironic, I realize.

71. While in a fight with the royal navy a pirate shall carry a knife in his mouth when swinging over on the rival ship, a pirate is allowed to swing over without a dagger between hes teeth only if he has less than 5 teeth and then he has the obligation to spit on 15 second intervals. ( this one is added by me )

And finally, How do you know if you are a pirate? You just "Arrrrrrrr"...

As you know I'm a universal being, I'm also a pirate and I stole this article from some other mate on the ship ... but psssst don't let my crew know, they will cut my rum ratio.

Aye mates ! Arrrr !

Rage, trash talk, manifestos, free t-shirts and lies

2009-10-28T22:33:00.001+02:00

The presidential election campaign started, the parties presented the candidates, made an action plan and the circus is open for business. You know it's election campaign when:
- your mail box gets spammed with laminated fliers ( you fucking twats don't laminate the fliers because we get nasty anal paper cuts when we use them for ass wiping ... could you please print them on soft 3 layered toilet paper with lotion ?) and pictures with some old farts making promises.
- worthless piece o' shit bands will give away free concerts in your town square and the low life rednecks think we are celebrating a bisect year again.
- open stage trash talk against rival parties.
- free food and clothes, dressed in charity.
I never took serious these election campaigns but I always enjoyed the fight between the candidates ... they promise all sorts of silly things and at one point it becomes like a pathetic tennis match
Jim: We are going to build better roads for the people !
Earl: We are going to build 10 lane high ways with free prostitute services at the petrol stations !

Earl: We will create a better health system !
Jim: We will make sure that 10 doctors will live in your dressing and they will be there if you get the hick-ups

Jim: We will legalize soft drugs !
Earl: My name is Earl Pablo Emilio Escobar Gaviria !

Earl: We will ensure free schooling !
Jim: PHD degrees for everybody !

Earl: We'll lick your ass !
Jim: We'll suck your cock !

Jim: We will kill the bogeyman !
Earl: The ghost busters work for me !

Some may find it wonderful how a few kind gentlemen battle for our well being and prosperity, I find it rather pathetic and stupid how a bunch of spineless rabid dogs bite each other for the big bone... fetch you geezers !!!
All this bullshit about the competence of the candidate "I've graduated The Asshole Academy with top grade and a knot on my cock", I have a wast knowledge about how the post communist economical system behaves and I know the solution of success ... you know what ? we don't need a highly educated snob for president, we need a guy which keeps his word, wont follow his own interests and wont let other hot shots plunder our souls.
Mr. Orwell's farm is present in any political regime the ones on the top will exploit to death the ones which work hard.

Vote for Andy ! I like cheese !

Democracy will go down

2009-10-26T07:07:00.004+02:00

My problem with this form of organization is the equality between the citizens, we all have the same rights but only a few of us respect the imposed obligations.
So ... why should I be equal with a person which doesn't have a job and lives on welfare ? why should I be equal with a person which has 5 children and cant supply decent housing and decent meals for them, instead of sending the children to school ( which is free ) he makes them beg for money or even steal. Sometimes the minorities are the ones which cause these problems but I'm not about to denigrate a race or a nationality, I'm pissed off and sometimes I'm thinking why the hell did I lost 18 years in school, become a serious person who cares about a steady and profitable work place, pay taxes which are consumed to keep a bunch of hobos with their bellies full.
People should be born with equal rights, if they follow a certain path for a future professional activity they should be supported and they should benefit of good and healthy system without a difference between color, race, shape and size. A child should be forced to attend at least elementary school, after graduating elementary school he should choose whether to join a high school or arts and crafts schools and after finishing with the educational process he should get a job. If at one point somebody refuses to follow these steps he will lose some of his rights like voting and as times goes by he should lose primary rights like having children, eventually they should be sentenced to hard labor, work which will ensure their basic needs like food, clothing and housing in labor camps. A person sent into a labor camp should win his rights back after a certain period and be granted with a normal job. Prisoners should have no rights at all and all prisons should be considered independent businesses were the prisoners have to work for food, heating and decent conditions, the guards and the prison staff shouldn't be affected and shouldn't suffer penalties if the prisoners refuse to work, the prisoners should work to stay alive. Whether a person decides to work as a freelancer, as a contractor, in a factory, as a sewer cleaner, or any other job as long as he sticks to it, he should be free to have and do everything he desires. It's hard enough to keep a country up and running, expenses with the not directly productive workers like teachers, people which work in administration( they have an important role in the system ), costs with disabled persons ( which have the right to a decent life ) and other necessary expenses for running a country ... my question is why do we have to support healthy citizens which refuse to work and prefer to leach.
I guess we could be able to reach a perfect regime based on the 2 principles the iron fist which will crack your skull if you refuse to play by the rules and the kind rewarding and accessible warm pillow which will take care of you if you mind your business.
I shall become a new political genius, Marx + Engels + Hitler + Gorbachev + Kohl ... learn from the past adjust to the present and voila Conditioned Democracy.

cheers !!!

We gather for nothing ... women steal souls

2009-10-20T20:52:00.005+03:00

Wealth farmers that is what humans are, stupid redneck robots chasing after useless and expensive things. Strange how people gather wealth their whole lives and still they wont buy the stuff they enjoy, for example most men are fascinated by motor bikes, fast cars, gadgets, renewal/renovating activities, constructions, creating stuff, fishing, hunting and other specific male stuff ... sadly most of them wont get the chance to enjoy such things. The man's software would have been flawless if our almighty programmer had left away the "seek women and get married part", I tell you women are our weak point. How many dudes sacrificed their dreams and their economies to get a really nice engagement ring and for what ? for a moody brat which probably will get fat as a hippopotamus after marriage.
I get pissed off each time I hear stuff like its the man's duty to:
- ask for the girls hand ( fuck this !!! women should be grateful that we are interested, they should write our names in the sky with pink smoke, take us to expensive non romantic trips and get us an expensive engagement motorized present )
- please the woman in bed ( no shit ? it's hard enough to get a boner when you get to screw unattractive bizarre kitchen monsters, women should know all the tricks in the book of Kamansutra, seduce their man, lose some weight, work out )
- provide for the woman ( what for ? so she can fuck up a high quality top class piece of beef by burning it and not even recognize that she forgot about it because the mexican soap was so interesting, learn how to cook proper healthy meals !!! )
All men objects are considered useless and a man without his gadgets is considered poor and unattractive, so if you get to have a nice garage, a nice car, nice clothes you will get the attention of the ladies and when you think she likes you ... she knows her only purpose is to make you sell your useless stuff just to buy for her vital stuff like jewelery, fur coats, expensive perfumes and soon you will end up walking at work wearing cheap clothes thinking about the horrible designer furniture bought by your wife with your money.
Men are pigs ... of course we are !!! what do you expect from a person which got his dreams crushed, he will drink his kindness out and he will come back for what is his.
Of course not all women are such men exploiting dictators, there are a lot of women which enjoy riding a bike, have good cooking skills, don't dream about diamond encrusted golden anal plugs, get pleasure from a nice hike in the woods, like to jog with their partners, wont complain about the small diamond in their ring, appreciate a bunch of field flowers ... they deserve to be respected.
Back to the the subject, human beings can achieve a certain comfort with less effort and still we need more and more, all the efforts for extra wealth are for nothing, everything is just an illusion, instead of taking care of our health,enjoying quality time with friends and family and take trips to foreign places we work extra hours for a better car or for a bigger apartment. The rush for wealth made us humans forget about the things that really matter and how much it matters to do what you like and accept what other people like. Sooner or later we will die and we can chose between dieing as a wealthy and unaccomplished middle aged person, or dieing as a satisfied old person with great stories for the grandchildren.
Right now I'm happy with what I have and what I'm about to accomplish on the material part and in the relationship with my gnarly girlfriend ... still we make plans to expand our "empire", I hope we will know when to stop gathering and start enjoying our lives.
Some of my friends knew that I'm dreaming about a black FMX 650, they also knew I had the money for it and were disappointed that I chose to spend my economies for my own place but this feels like the right thing to do now because it makes me happy and it also makes me independent, yay !!! these are the first steps towards my satisfaction ... perhaps the bike will carry us to foreign places.

Yes I know I'm a weird person some people refer to me as the new Messiah but I'm only a genius in my early years.

/over "My name is Earl" time

Hip hop is back !!!

2009-10-18T22:39:00.005+03:00

Dude I was waiting for the new Rammstein ... it came out on Friday, its fine and dandy same stuff with more kink, after listening the entire album a few times it got boring like a German bratwurst. I was hopping for smart lyrics and awesome instrumentals, well the only thing I managed to remember was: LOVE IS HERE FOR EVERYBODY I WILL HURT YOU BECAUSE I'M A SADISTIC UGLY GERMAN ROCKER, THE END IS NEAR MY DARLING, YOU HAVE A PUSSY I HAVE A DICK, AUTO BAHN, and of course WAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHAHA HUBIDIBUBLA UUUUUOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOGGGGGGGHHHHHHH ( these being the cool special efect screams ). I'm sorry but I wont buy the album and I'm not anymore impressed with their costumes and the sorry anorexic keyboard playing clown.
Disappointed as I was with the Rammstein album I went AGAIN to see some apartments ... found one this time, already payed an advance and in a couple of weeks we should be able to move in, fire works, happy thoughts, all the positive feelings managed to put a smile on my face. On my way home Method Man was singing on the radio about street life, respect, gangsters and since I'm a thug raised on the though streets of Baia Mare ( I even had to hustle wild chestnuts for a living )I enjoyed every word. Changed into my home clothes and after I cleaned my room the 1st thing I was about to do is to listen to some pimpalicious gangster shake that ass Method Man music. HUGE surprise !!! a new Method Man featuring Red Man album available and man I was dancing like a thug in my baby duck slippers ... it's a combo fuckers !!! The only 2 guys which kept me listening to the black music were NAS and MOS DEF, they are amongst the few who managed to keep it real and now they got some top class reinforcements. Enjoy the new music video:

A-YO from Katie M Best on Vimeo.

Just to make things clear I'm not a fan of some random gangsters which managed to make a fortune without elementary school education, like 1/2 dollar or the small Wayne guy.

Peace out !!!

Like a plant ... lazy plant

2009-10-16T07:12:00.001+03:00

I'm pretty much in a lazy mood these days, nothing is interesting enough to catch my attention, things at the office are not how I want them to be, I'm tired with this whole apartment search, at least the weather is loyal and plays along with snow, rain, chili winds and gray clouds. Today the new Rammstein album comes out, I'm pretty curious about the sound and the lyrics, I hope it's going to be a good distraction from the old school weed/hip hop/hood movies and comics which killed my time this week. The movies were ok ... Chris Rock made a good Eazy-E in CB4, Dave Chapelle killed it in Half Baked but the highlight of my last week was an interesting comic montage, a waste of paper and time but still pretty clever, enjoy:

VIDEOGIOCO by Donato Sansone from Enrico Ascoli - Sound Design on Vimeo.

instead of a cool fare well formula I will present you a picture of my imaginary golden Nazi gnome friend and his best "Heil Hitler" salute

Celebrity news

2009-10-13T07:35:00.001+03:00

Hollow articles, news papers or magazines without substantial information get sold in thousands and thousands of copies, usually the buyers don't even read all the articles and still they keep buying them for no reason, in fact this became the nr.1 problem for humanity and when they solve this one, the cure for cancer, the origins of the universe, reaching the speed of light and other unessential stuff will be solved by Kate Moss after a blow session. Are we seriously attracted by Lindsay Lohan's genital warts ? or does anybody care about Kelly Osbourne witch is nothing more than Ozzy's uglee daughter, send all the gossip journalists + all the paparazzi + all the wannabe's into the most remote part of Siberia and in max 6 months they will have a local celebrity magazine ... 1st page title "Perez Hilton ate yellow snow". Recently the Nobel prize winners were announced but nobody wrote more than 10 rows about the people which won them and about their work, yay !!! they wrote about Barack ( we are close friends ) winning the Nobel peace prize and yes he is peaceful, he also is the president of a country with a few ongoing wars and an astonishing high tech arsenal. Is Barack a celebrity ? or is he a public person ? ... he received the media credit for this edition and its understandable because the other Nobel prize winning physicians,chemists, doctors, writers don't have under their command the US military and they're not even married to Jacky Obama or is it Michelle Kennedy ?
I'm proud that I share the same citizenship with Herta Muller the 2009 literature Noble price winner, yes she is a smart Romanian person and like any other smart Romanian person she phucked off and left "the land of choice" as soon as she had the opportunity ( emigrated in Germany in the 80's ). The Romanian celebrity gossip scene is now investigating her roots, reveal her dark and horrible past " Herta Muller lived in a small German town, in a small house" ... stone the Biatch !!! It's a shame that we don't appreciate the true values and brilliant minds like Henry Coanda, Constantin Brancusi and now Herta Muller which had to achieve extraordinary performances in a foreign place because they hungered in their country. It's easier to appreciate a blond tramp flashing her tits in front of the camera than following a bunch of guys encoding the DNA on an empty stomach.
If we keep going like this we will end up as a bunch of fucktards with Victoria Beckham as president.

This was deep ...

Aaaaaciu !!!

Winning the lottery

2009-10-10T09:27:00.003+03:00

Never played it but I'm still hoping to win it someday and if the all mighty gambling demon will put in my pocket a winning ticket, I will reinvent the word eccentric.
Here are a few things I'm going to do:
- I'm going to pay a club owner to kick out all the people in the club and I will tango the bodyguards while listening to turbonegro
- I would buy myself a slave
- I would only wear costumes, superman costumes, wonder woman costumes ( without the thong ), are there any Mojo Jojo costumes available ?
- I would pay Quincy Jones to compose my personal bad ass soundtrack
- I would get a job as a janitor and I will pay the general manager to do my work
- I would transform my parents apartment into a huge sub woofer( speakers instead of windows )
- I would play commercials on the sub woofer
- I would make old people carry my grocery
- I would buy out all the seats in the bus and make everybody stand
- I would build a statue of me sitting on the couch, with a built in hydraulic arm which will swing a whip, with drums in background ... a build in motion sensor will whip the passing slaves
- I would corrupt the local authorities for the permission to place my statue in the town center
- I would build myself a crematory and make things disappear for the mafia
- I would buy a license to kill
- I would build a platform into international waters, call it a tax paradise, get all the worlds investors and create a flourishing free country ( everything legal except iPhones ), with its own time zone and I would give it a really bad ass name which I cant come up with right now.
- I would drive a steam roller when I'm going out with my lady
- I might play the lottery

so .... yeah I guess I forgot about things like getting a nice house, a nice car and nonessential bullshit like this.

boing boing ....

Are the pro's dead ?

2009-10-09T07:28:00.000+03:00

Mneah ... I will become a rich homeless guy, the real estate agents in my town are a bunch of dildos and obviously they don't want my money. Till now I've changed 2 agents, 1st agent was a female freak with the wrong attitude, she took us to see 2 apartments but instead of the sleazy bullshit agent talk she was an aggressive cunt which tried to intimidate us into buying her apartment so my sidekick decided to dump the gorilla and for a moment we feared the consequences. The second agent was a hillbilly disguised in a busy man, he forgot about our 1st meeting, he was late on our 2nd meeting and yesterday when we took our parents to see the apartment we liked he didn't show up, so of course everybody got angry and we left, 5 minutes after we left he called my girl friend and started brutalizing her over the phone, when I was about the turn the car around just to show him the chemical reaction between my brass knuckle and his soon to be teeth less mouth my girl went mental, interrupted the wankers pleading and hell broke lose, from ak47's, dark ages, the return of the Nazis, barbed wire bondage, deep throat, red hot needles everything was mentioned ... the redneck was horrified and remained silent until she made him present his excuses for being a jiralhanae ( retarded lunatic, word used to describe someone who is really fucked up mentally - Korean slang)
I was shocked and I'm still thinking if she has cock in her pants, not to mention I'm amazed about her slang knowledge,the white trash agent deserved it and to be honest I feeling proud of her.
Sales are an amazing thing if you do them right and take proper care of your clients, I'm a bit into sales myself, sales are awesome, just the feeling you get when you make the clients buy your stuff, the whole walzer involved before selling, the smooth bullshit professional talk gives me satisfaction. "Client's feed me" that's my golden rule when it comes to sell something, if the client doesn't like the walz I'm going to dance the polka or everything else and I would dance his dance 5 minutes before he will enter the ball room.

So today we'll get to know one of the best sales agents in my town, I hope he knows the macarena.

Future Pulitzer award winning brutalist over and out !

Road rage !

2009-10-07T07:32:00.005+03:00

Weeeehaaaaaaaa !!! I'm driving a car and everybody should take care because I'm entitled to do whatever I desire and nothing should stay in my way !!!
People become some kind of warriors when they get behind the steering wheel, a simple drive to the market is like the siege for Cameltoe (or is it Camelot ?), even the smallest prick has a bad temper and is always ready to fight you. If you feel really tough and have a mood to fight just take your car out for a spin and don't signal when you change lanes, when you drive in front of another car hit the brake with no reason, when the traffic lights go green take your time and finish your cigarette, keep honking at other drivers and in a few minutes you will find another flinty driver to fight with. Usually the roadrager fights are pathetic, they keep pushing each other, they swear at each other but none has the courage to deliver the nice well aimed son of a bitch nose punch and usually the wife's are the ones who end the public masquerade with a well executed firm ninja testicle grab maneuver and drag the wimp back to the car.
I find it very curious that drivers don't kill each other because all of them and by all I mean even the nun drivers have a some kind of a self defense tool, some of them have entire arsenals ... I don't know if the angry wussies are afraid to use them or the driving license psychological tests are so accurate. From time to time the police raids the cars to get new equipment for the officers and if you see a guy dressed in pajamas with a reflecting jacket, a fire extinguisher and a red and white crowbar you don't worry it's the law on duty !

I'm also carrying a device in my car just to make sure I'm ready for the attack, like you know I always fight with style and my weapon of choice is a brass knuckle ... well a fencing rapier would be more stylish but I look like a fagot with it.
If you really want to fight like a man, receive and deliver punches you should follow the cars parked in front of boxing gyms and voila you have the chance to prove yourself in front of a pro. boxer.

Cheers !!!

Am I getting it ?

2009-10-06T07:12:00.000+03:00

Wow !!! woke up this morning seriously worried, had a strange night with psychedelic dreams/nightmares combined with strong muscle contraction, almost felt like in a 3D cinema. Next year I'll start a psychology faculty, man if I could control my brain I could get high for free and probably would make a fortune if I could teach other people to get "brain high". Just imagine walking along a nice purple road surrounded by Antoni Gaudi designed industrial buildings which blow smoke circles out of their chimneys while listening to my girlfriends dog opinion about the human kind. Midgets steering unicorn pulled rickshaw's greeting polite while passing by, giant light bugs sleeping on street poles and my best mates enjoying a kraftwerk concert in a bar without entrance. Weird stuff if you ask me now and still some people pay lots of money for bad tasting but so inspirational shrooms. Just to complete these awesome dreams each step I took, each stumble and each gesture I dreamed felt extra special real due to muscle contraction imitating the normal body reaction to the imagined situation. After waking up, for a moment I thought I'm getting the Parkinsons or I'm starting to discover my super human powers ... the only thing I got was an early wake up similar to this:

I'm wondering if the dog was right, are we really just an experiment with limited resources meant to proof how long will it take until we will eat each other up.

ok breakfast time !

Be nice and ze basterds will walk over you

2009-10-04T20:51:00.001+03:00

Yep you're right this is another rage post and God damn it I will build myself a nuclear bomb.
Everybody expects to be respected but they wont give back the respect, if you behave, don't swear and shout when you have a small verbal dispute you are considered a weakling and will be feed shit until you do something. I'm done with this bullshit, in the past few weeks I've been disrespected by all sorts of disabled morons but from now on I will be an asshole, I'm dead serious about this.
Last week I've been to a few banks to check out the credit conditions for buying a house, I kept the formality and used Mr. or Ms. when I talked, the rude fuckers used my name and I tend to believe its just a psychological bravado meant to intimidate clients, I was not impressed by this circus so I got out my HUGE balls presented them to the credit person, bitch slapped him twice instantly I became MR. Andy and out of nowhere I had lots of options + benefits. My theory proved to be accurate as a Swiss watch, If you explode and get aggressive your presence will be respected, of course they will talk shit about you in your absence but if you find out you're entitled to raise hell and make the scum balls look stupid ... too shy to yell and scream like a motherfucker ? don't be !!! they will do the same thing to you.
Never liked to act like an asshole but sometimes, some people deserve it, whether its a colleague who likes to use you to get copies done for him, pick up stuff for him just because its more comfortable to do so,or whether its the perfect healthy family member which likes to delegate you for a cup of soda when you are in the middle of lunch, you should brace yourself and say NO ! beware they will try to make you do it, keep your position don't back off because they didn't use the word PLEASE in their pathetic request and since you are not a soldier/slave/robot you should not take orders especially from people who:
-don't sign your checks,
-made a habit exploiting other peoples,
-are not your parents/grandparents
-are not close and reliable friends
-are not disabled
-are not the ones you care about
-are not Chuck Norris
So if somebody will bother you again with this kind of dumb favor requests you should ask him if he would do the same thing for you, probably the person will giggle and say no, well if he doesn't sign your check and doesn't fulfill all the crap I wrote above you shouldn't do it and you don't owe an explanation for your decision.
Anyway I would rather come along with people but when I have to choose between being considered an asshole or a smiley face gay puppet I prefer the 1st option.

Self declared internet tough guy over and out !!!

P.S. I like purple !

Uber positive people make me sick

2009-10-01T09:50:00.009+03:00

Have you ever had the feeling that the uber positive douche which gives away compliments for no reason should get hes teeth knocked out ?
Like any other normal person out there I have my up's and down's, when I'm happy you can see I'm happy, when I'm sad it rains ... usually people get sad or happy for a certain reason, but not this positive freaks they are happy and I tend to believe they are faking it just to piss me off.
These Hare Krishna dip shits have nonsense values, they appreciate and follow all sorts of shady meditation practices while enjoying a nice cup of warm piss, they get really serious about the zodiac and its strange how they always find the good part in it even if it says "you are going to be gang ass raped at 1pm" they will react like "It can be a good experience, probably I will get rid of these pesky hemorrhoids", if they have a really bad car accident and unfortunately survive they will thank God for the sunny weather ... YOU WASTED YOUR CAR START CURSING !!!!
If you have the luck to get stuck with one of them you will wish the Grinch will appear soon, if you are queuing with one, he will start talking about the faith that brought you together and how beautiful life is even if you made it clear that you were there to get your new ID and he should talk in the other direction because his breath smells like piss, he will appreciate your brute sincerity, will become happier and will talk even more. God bless if you share a hospital room with one of them, he will compliment how good you look after an open shinbone fracture and how cute is the full leg cast but now is the right moment to make the douche feel miserable and cry like a baby, you only have to ask nice whats he in for and no mater what the answer is you should say that your friend died in excruciating pain for the same reason and the disease is caused by the hyper positivity ... continue to scare the shit out of him and when he gets desperate put a smile on your face and ask him to get a bed in the morgue

This will wake him up from his orgasmic positivity, it might make him realize that all the piss he drank was for nothing and meditation without having something real to think about is useless.

Facts about my grandfather

2009-09-30T14:25:00.002+03:00

- he is my grandfather
- he can kick your grandfather's ass
- he won world war 2
- he loves my grandmother
- he is a cyborg
- he showed Chuck Norris how to wear a beard
- he wont wear a kilt
- he snores
- he traveled alone to the center of the earth
- he speaks the gypsy language
- he likes chocolate
- he is an X games platinum medalist
- he has royal blood
- Frank Sinatra was my grandfathers stunt double
- he outran Usain Bolt
- he cant get a tattoo, sharp needles get blunt if they come in contact with his skin
- he never got the flew
- he trained Pele
- Scarface the movie was inspired by his life
- he thought Kal-El how to fly
- he read all the books ever written
- Gene Kelly took dancing lessons from my grandfather
- he built the sarcophagus for the Chernobyl reactor barehanded
- he simultaneous won the Nobel award for peace and war
- he barbecued Road Runner for Easter
- he is the real Stig
- he decided the distances between the planets in the universe
- he wrote wikipedia
- he can call you via telekinesis
- he invented the "mind fuck" genre
- he is the only guy who works on Christmas dressed in a red suit
- he knows all the jokes/pranks
- he is such a bad ass even Tommy Lee got scared of him

Best grandpa ever ... keep it going dude !!!

Nneka is awesome !!!

2009-09-29T18:17:00.005+03:00

Nigerian artist moved to the US and like most black artists her stile is a mix between R&B, jazz, hip hop, pop and African highlife, anyway she's different ... and she will get an Emmy because I say so !

Nneka - Heartbeat .flv
Vezi mai multe video din Divertisment

The fat fucks !!!

2009-09-29T08:50:00.014+03:00

So my girlfriend convinced me into getting a 1 room apartment so we are looking for apartments now, we went yesterday to see one at the 10th floor in one block. We met with 2 ladies which took us to see the apartment, to get to the 10th floor we had to take the elevator by turn 1st me + my girlfriend and the other 2 ladies separately because they were so ginormous, I was about to tell them that a walk up to the 10th floor would help them get a hearth attack and spare us with their unpleasant presence. Once at the 10th floor more fat fucks joined us from other apartments so we had the 2 fat ladies + 1 hairy fat boar which insisted to tell us jokes about apartments ( he was lucky he had a good flow and I could not interrupt him with my best sweaty pig joke )+ 1 fat wife with her eyes popped out + 1 50 kg 7 year old kid, I felt like I was a Slim Fast sales agent preaching about diets based on chocolate and stakes for the bloby crowd. There we were in the pig stall when I had this brilliant business idea, based on the "before and after" pictures showed on the teleshopping channels I will open "The before picture model agency" and make my models eat until they look like Jabba the Hut, even made yesterday my 1st shoot in collaboration with an agency called "Heroic Freak Finder" check out the result:

The apartment was a mess, the balcony felt like it was about to fall, the parquet was complaining about the owners weight, the walls had water infiltration marks ... so we started to complain about this stuff in hope they will drop the price but no they started to bitch around about the great investment with this apartment and the real estate value in the area, anyway I told them my opinion about the value of their 10th floor shit hole. On our way out the fat boar showed us how to use the elevator without closing the doors in hope we will appreciate his extreme ( fat ) style and since he showed me a trick I wanted to show him my trick but its complexity made me not pass my knowledge to him instead I will draw a scheme called "cheapest way to kill 5 fat fucks" ... check it out:

Well I just told everybody that I'm not fat people friendly especially wise ass fat people, if you get fat because you eat more than enough and don't get any exercise you will die, if you are fat already and try to lose weight you will fail ... if you don't fail you are welcomed in my exclusive anti obesity club.
The reality is that I'm just frustrated that in order to get an apartment I have to visit all sorts of shady places with odd owners.

/late for work ... bye !

Hard work ....

2009-09-28T22:01:00.003+03:00

Ah crap I'm in a bad mood these days, besides my awesome job I'm also responsible with the season changing which is quite depressing, especially when I have to close the summer season and bring up the suicidal autumn mood. This year I delayed autumn intentionally because I knew the roads needed a quick fix before the everlasting rains. After a quick chat with the intergalactic road work president we agreed to fix my street just to make sure I will have a smooth ride in my limo each morning and just to show me how much of a douche he is he promised that 5 of his best engineers will take care of the works using latest extraterrestrial steam rollers.
Gosh these guys were good !!! I'm an universal expert but I've never seen so much professionalism into road works.
Check this picture out, the 5 highly qualified PHD engineers are scanning the density of the earth surrounding the road with their sonar hearing ( I have this also but hearing Barrack Obama farting in the White House gets annoying ):

Huh ??? whats up autobahn specialists ? your technology is outdated ... try the new snoreandsleeplikeapigforaliving schemes and your road will be so smooth you will have to hire gypsies to put holes in them.

Ok fellows, I have to invent some revolutionary gizmo so I wont lose more of my precious time to share with you my outrageously wast and gnarly knowledge.

Time killer

2009-09-25T08:16:00.002+03:00

We all have those lazy days at the office when the work gets done in the 1st couple of hours and after a few more phone calls the work is done but we still have to wait and get bored, usually I start cleaning my desk, this takes maximum 10 minutes and the boring nightmare continues. I called in a few strippers they got me bored, almost felt asleep with the midget circus I had in my small office ( never hire midgets to entertain you ) I even booked Michael Jackson to perform in my office and the coward faked his death because he knew I would be disappointed ... I even tried to get aliens to land in the yard but I can't stand their stench.
When I thought I got so cool and nothing on this sorry planet could entertain me some guy sent me this awesome super phun time site.
Ladies and gentleman I would like to introduce you the one and only certified ( by me ) time killing device: Stumble upon when you enter this magnificent realm you will find in your browsers upper left corner the "Stumble" button to discover the best of the web.
This site is the best invention since the DVD rewinder.

Whoosh !!!

Real life or connected ?

2009-09-24T21:32:00.003+03:00

These days more and more young men and women have to make this choice. Why ? well my opinion is that we live in a cruel world and everybody tends for that perfect look, the fat wallet, popularity or whatever is cool these days, unfortunately not all of us can get these certain things and some choose to isolate themselves in the perfect online world.
Right now I'm in a struggle to understand how the above mentioned think and what makes them choose to live this lonely life, I don't care about all geeks and other freaks which refuse to live their lives, I kinda care about a guy I consider one of my best friends and I have a feeling that he makes a big mistake by refusing any social interaction. Me and this guy grew up together at the beginning we didn't really came along because we both had huge ego's and couldn't figure out a way to get along, it got so far we even had to fight and the bastard kicked my ass, anyway we grew up and solved the ego problems and I consider him a pleasant company because we can talk hours about all sorts of stuff.
If you get to know this guy you will realize that he is really competitive and his ambitions become his obsessions, and it's a shame he wont focus on productive activities. A couple of years ago he told me about this awesome online game and that he will get it and try it to see if it is so awesome as some describe it, he bought the game as time passed he got hooked to it. Each time we meet he told me how complex this game is and I should join so we can play together, well I didn't join because I was to cheap to pay the 14 euro's each month for this game. For a period of time he managed to keep in balance his life and his gaming hobby, when the financial crisis hit our country he had to move with his job into another city so he quit, after quitting his job he started to play more and more and even if he had more free time we meet each other very rare. At this point I cant reach him, I try to contact him each day but he wont answer my calls and I know he is in the house because I can see that his PC monitor is turned on. I invited him to go out skiing or swimming with me and my girlfriend but he keeps refusing our invitations.
I hope he will read this and I hope it will open his eyes, because he is wasting his life for a stupid game.

Thinking whether to E-mail him a link to my blog, I guess he will get angry and deny what I wrote ....

/over

TV series

2009-09-23T20:34:00.005+03:00

Addictive shit isn't it ?
I read somewhere that people become addicted to anything which provides a certain satisfaction ... so basically people get addicted to everything, we have sweets addiction, internet porn addiction, internet addiction ( more about this one tomorrow ), gambling addiction, cough syrup addiction, breast milk addiction ( the period when the baby gets off the breast milk and everybody blames his devilish behavior on the growing teeth ), shopping addiction, tobacco addiction, work addiction ( which is the stupidest one ever invented, we should get all workaholics together and sue the addiction ministry , because its obvious some shady government project )and a lot more even TV series addiction.
Do you know people who watch each day 1 or more episode of their favorite TV series and after that talk with other people about the series ? well they are addicted and if they start to tell you about how marvelous these series are you will become curious and get addicted sooner or later. I'm a sucker for awesome TV series and it all started with "Malcolm in the middle" loved each episode but still it didn't had that necessary something to get me hooked and everything changed when I started to follow THE SOPRANOS, man I tell you THE SOPRANOS were the best, I've seen the whole series in 2 weeks. When The Sopranos ended I was devastated, I missed Paulie Walnuts so I had to get something strong to replace Soprano addiction and I still follow this treatment which is a consistent dose of TV series / week and right now I'm following a few TV shows like: Weeds, Eureka, Everybody Hates Chris, LA INK, Entourage, Family Guy, South Park and when the brakes between the seasons come I like to watch old series like The A Team, Knight Rider, Magnum, Starsky and Hutch and a few others.
I guess this is a good addiction but it also has a few down sides, for instance I suffered like a dog when they did 2 endings for Prison Break ... the show was ruined because of these 2 alternative endings and the worst part is that poor Michael died in both. The above mentioned TV shows are like a light drug addiction but there are also the "heroin TV shows" like "the young and the restless", you are pretty much fucked if you get addicted to that, how do you feel when you know that your favorite TV show will outlive you and I'm not talking about the seniors here because the seniors are motivated to outlive Matlock.
So my young padawans choose your addiction wisely, may the force be with you !!!!

WOW !!! a Star Wars series would be dope ! George ?

Russians know reggae !!!

2009-09-22T14:24:00.002+03:00

Everybody knows the Marley's the father started the business and out of nowhere his 125 sons, 67 girls and other close relatives are all over the radio stations. Are they the ones who represent reggae ? Yes maybe a few of them are really good artists and when you hear Marley you think of reggae or Rastafari and it's theirs, nobody can take it away.
There are a lot of artists and bands who promote reggae music, check out this rad russian band, they are kinda good even if I can't understand 1 word ... enjoy:

iBBQ

2009-09-21T20:29:00.005+03:00

While browsing the web I found an extraordinary site about how to barbecue like an ace.
Usually I'm into light food like tuna salads or nice cheese dishes and of course like every sinner I enjoy some well done spare ribs or delicious grilled chicken wings. Eating and enjoying the good taste of a well done piece of meat is only half the satisfaction, the other half is provided by preparing the food ... nice marinade sauce, the grill at the perfect temperature, the sound of the meat on the hot grill and of course sharing everything with people I like. Grilling is really inspiring for me, almost like meditation , it gives me great yet simple ideas, makes me realize that the best things in life are simple like this rewarding piece of grilled meat and if I had a glass of vine before, Nietzsche and the other guys are no match for me the great barbecue philosopher. I would grill everywhere and every season and I have serious thoughts to build in my parents garden the best barbecue pit ever, I even have some rad ideas how to create the perfect one and who knows maybe I will integrate a small smoker into my design. My girlfriend is my BBQ queen, I only see barbecue done with meat and red flesh but she likes to put some vegetables on the grill and man I tell you those grilled onions, the grilled peppers and any other stuff that she prepares are almost as good as the best stake.
Until I've seen some barbecue masters at work I thought barbecuing is something for savage hillbillies but damn I was wrong, I like to eat healthy and I do my best to do so but a well grilled chicken breast, a well grilled stake or a nice grilled fish fillet with nice steamed vegetables and some awesome cheese are way better than a deluxe dish served by a fully waxed naked virgin in some fancy restaurant.
Check out this extraordinary web page meant as a present for humanity those guys know how to feed your stomach and while preparing the food your mind gets transmuted into a relaxing dimension
BBQ PIT BOYS <<<<<<<<< Click HERE
Enjoy the videos and have fun while grilling, check the guy's voice ... he could tame the Tasmanian Devil

Cheers !!!

P.S. just got down from the garage roof an hour ago ... zing !!!

DIY phenomenon

2009-09-19T20:52:00.005+03:00

I'm sure you all know about the do it yourself TV shows/series/guides were some person teaches the majority how do get stuff done for free, without paying some overall wearing guy to do really simple work. Man I like these do it yourself thingies, you can get really good hints from watching them, the best part is that you can get everything done by watching DIY videos.
I started watching diy origami videos ( I had a period when I had to impress my girlfriend and I tried my best to get a really nice origami flower bouquet and eventually I had to buy real flowers because I couldn't resist more paper cuts between my fingers ... but this is another story ) it continued with diy awesome food, you can get simple and uber complicated things done by watching these guides for instance I've seen diy hearth surgery, diy intercontinental ballistic missile, diy methamphetamine, diy moonshine and the list can continue but I only tried the ones I mentioned.
So I really feel like a two time genius when I do stuff myself and it works.
My father is biggest diy fan, he does everything himself but I tell you it's hell to work with him, he is such a difficult person to work with I prefer to work alone and even if I put some nails in wood or dig a hole he has to act like a bitch and make me read the users manual for the hammer or the God damn shovel. Luckily we don't work so often together but today instead of waking up at 10 I had to help him repair the roof on our garage so we started at 8 am, just the thought of working with him next day kept me awake all night. So while having breakfast he already started to get dressed, he put on some shorts and an T-shirt and I asked him how come he wont wear his SS officer uniform and of course he got pissed of. There we were on the roof, we removed the old tiles, we got rid of some rotten wood he already got tired and began to lose his temper, he started to pick on me or corrected my work for no reason, while revealing his master plan by using his hands to indicate positions on the roof I moved my arms and he got really angry because I'm imitating his gestures and for the next 10 minutes I laughed like insane ... how can somebody be so paranoid ?
After we removed the old roof he started measuring and measuring and measuring we only had to lay 4 wooden beams with equal distance between each other on a 4 meter wide roof and give them a small slope so the water will drain, we worked 9 hours just to to mount the 4 beams, he told me he will lay the tiles on Monday and that he will be done before I come from work. I don't believe him !
He is really rigorous in everything what he does, he is a retired engineer and likes to use space craft standards in whatever he is building, the roof will be bomb proof that's for sure but it's not worth to get everything to the millimeter the roof will stand just fine it will last the same period of time and will do his job even if it doesn't have a perfect symmetry. Well he is my beloved father and his way to get stuff done, can't blame him.

OK tomorrow is Sunday and on Sunday even the divinity takes a day off ... so no awesome stories on Sunday

Have a great weekend !!!

Porn sells !!!

2009-09-18T13:03:00.005+03:00

Everything gets pornolized starting from gaming sites and ending up with industrial rock music.
I'm not worried about the children who watch piece of shit TV shows were the host's assistants are almost naked, I'm worried about porn getting into everything.
There is this gaming site they organize each day a poll were the users vote for the pic. of the day, the pictures are not something unusual except the ones on Friday's which are pictures picked from random porn sites. Usually the winning picture has 20 up to 40 votes but on Friday ... 40 votes are for the losers, to win the Friday poll almost 100 votes are needed. Gaming goes porn soon EA will release Need For Strippers - Tune Your Boobs, news papers have already boobs and celebrity crotches on the 1st page.
We are already able to see the pornolization consequences, women and girls ( not all of them ) tend to look more and more like pornstars, they go trough this "change your look" process in the
- 1st stage they bleach their hair, get a crisp brown tan, start wearing a huge amount of make up
- 2nd stage they wear these ridiculous clothes, I mean why would somebody wear short skirts and a tiny T-shirt while shopping for Christmas gifts in winter ? we have really cold winters your junk might freeze honey ! In the summer time they wear leggings ( which sometimes look like gimp suit pants ) and boots or even clear hills ... it's just not right.
- 3rd stage marry some rich old fart which is usually shorter
- 4th stage they want to become singers or actresses some of them even become assistants for some TV show host.
Even men try their best to look like a pornstar they start shaving their legs, work out, put an excessive amount of gel in their hair, get their eyebrows done, manicure and pedicure treatments, wear white clothes and do other disgusting things that I don't even know about.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not some kind of women hater or some dirty male gorilla but some things are not supposed to be used in selling stuff, yes I know it's cheaper and easier to sell a magazine/tv show/newspaper by showing boobs instead of offering a high quality product or clever entertainment, people are dumb enough and we will become apes in a short period of time if we are constantly feed with this crap !
The main reason I chose to write about this is because the new Rammstein video for their new single called Pussy. Rammstein always had these really cool mindfuck video's, psychological gymnastics were played in order to shock the viewer and create the "crippled dog effect" ( you all know the feeling when you see a disgusting crippled animal and you just cant get your eyes of it because of the sick human curiosity ) The new "Pussy" music video was launched on a porn site because it is really really nasty way nastier than the stuff Rammstein used us with and its a wake up call, it warns us that we are not far from becoming sex obsessed inbreed swines and it's a shocking way to make a point. I'm pretty sure the single will sell just because its porn more or less and I seriously doubt that the majority will get the message ... anyway here is the clip and don't you dare to click play if you are under 18

I should talk my boss into hiring a hooker and offer her services along with our products, our sales should go sky high.

Cheers !!!

Stuff I like even if I have to sweat like a donkey

2009-09-17T18:55:00.008+03:00

So to make things clear I wont write stuff about my hyper active and extraordinary sex life instead I will share my hiking experience.
Last Sunday my girlfriend's phone rang even she answered quickly and talked quietly it still woke me up, after she finished talking she got a grin on her face and I immediately asked if she's horny, she suddenly lost her grin and told me that her best friend asked if we would like to take them on the Cock's Ridge ... hey !!! nothing sexual right ?
After a quick breakfast and a quick check on the weather forecast we were on our way, we met our friend's and we divided quickly dudes hang out with dudes and the girls should walk together. Before we attacked the mountain we skipped the stretching instead we had each a glass with palinca ( about 60% )just so to make sure we have enough subjects to discuss until we reach the top and of course be prepared if we get snake bites.
After a week in a crazy city were everybody chases after something a hike in the woods is more relaxing than a massage made by Lucy Liu, and after the palinca glass I had serious thoughts of moving in the woods and live with the bears but my girlfriend made sure I forget about this and reminded that I have to focus on important things like an apartment/house, car and just for a combo she mentioned something about marriage.
Since me and my girl were the only ones in our group who were before on the ridge everybody asked if the road is hard of course its not hard its like a walk in the park just a little bit longer, I kept the raising the crew's morale and when we reached the last and most difficult part and they started to lose their breath I took the lead and escaped from the platoon like Lance Armstrong in Tour de France, the ascent in that particular part is hard but nothing for a stud like me. As I reached the top I felt like I accomplished something, at the beginning I was a bit confused and felt like an asshole for leaving my friends behind but after a quick chat with the little red guy on my shoulder we agreed that I'm a winner and I should feel proud. So it was a great day and looking forward for the next Sunday hike at the Horses Waterfall near Borsa.
Here are a few pics ... enjoy:

Beat this Bear Grylls !

I make things look better

2009-09-16T15:04:00.004+03:00

I should play in some TV commercials, companies would have huge sales after people see me advertising stuff. Besides that I'm aware I am a sex symbol and outrageously cool I realized objects tend to get a special glow in my presence, only applies to objects that I like.
For instance the company which I work for has 3 Dacia Logan with the same color same engine and a few other better cars and still the car I'm driving looks way better than the other cars, it almost competes with the Lexus owned by my boss ( but keep this a secret he'd might want to trade cars ). So I don't know if I look at my company car in a different manner but fact is that some of my coworkers would change their company car with mine or they might even try and steal it from me. It's true I keep it clean and take care of it and I only expect it to look cleaner than the other 2 identical cars but it's more like a Dacia Logan goddess than a clean Dacia Logan. This extraordinary gift that I have gets me a lot of enemies because from 2 identical objects I always get the better looking one, not to mention that some people think I'm a douche for having superior gear. All the kids in the neighborhood had Super Nintendo's mine was an epic console and it even had a name. If you appreciate the stuff that you own and take extra special care of them they mess with your brain they posses you somehow and transform you in a carebear.

Over and out
Signed: The better looking carebear

This is it !!!

2009-09-15T08:35:00.009+03:00

So this is it !!! a new Michael Jackson movie is coming out next month, it will be in theaters for only 2 weeks and this is it !!!
As a child I was a huge MJ fan I never understood what he's singing about but I liked his moves and I always knew that little Diana will become a Dirty Diana as a grown up. I remember the day that my father brought home a nice white VHS cassette with "teh Michael Jackson movie" so my mother cooked like mad for 1 week, we handed out invitations in our neighborhood, people thought I'm getting married with 6 ... but no !!! they were invited to watch Michael Jackson's Moonwalk. Seen the movie learned the moves and became the superstar, it was my favorite movie until the Tommy Lee vs Pamela Anderson movie ... and from that moment on I became the genre fan and even learned some moves.
I'm looking forward to download an illegal copy of this movie and watch it for free while sitting comfortable in my bed, I'll never pay for such a movie meant to generate shit loads of money for some cash hungry wankers. Don't want to be an asshole but I bet one of my balls that this movie its going to be a piece of crap, and if Michael was alive he wouldn't agree to star in such a production probably made by the people who blamed him of being a pedophile/drug addict/ fag and other stuff.

Looks like a documentary of some sort and if they want a documentary based on Michael Jackson they should talk to Michael Moore.
Michael Moore would convince us that MJ faked his death to move on the ranch in Texas with G.W. Bush and 2Pac.

Back to school

2009-09-14T08:57:00.008+03:00

After a 3 month holiday period the children and teenagers go back to school which actually is so good because the game servers will be so nice and empty without the wild kids around so ... less lag = more fun. The really really bad part in this "Back to school" story is that the kids get driven to school by their moms or grandparents and we all know that most women and grandparents drive their SUV's like shit ! The morning rush hour mutated into the morning chaos and a 10 minute drive from home to the office became a 25 minute drive which means I was 15 minutes late for work but still managed to be among the first persons in the office.
I mean I understand that people care about their children and stuff but if the traffic light shows green it means you should drive not look for 10 seconds if somebody will jump the red light on some other street in the junction. If I will win the lottery or if I'll become rich with this blog I'll get myself a mean offroad vehicle which will be fitted with 1 meter long titanium with carbide tip spikes and instead of going to work for my girlfriend's uncle I will patrol the streets 8 hours each day and crash into other drivers which:
- cut corners
- change lanes without looking behind
- get in my way
- drive a hybrid
- wear a mustache
- have the "Baby on board" sticker on the rear window
I will change my name into Mad Max and wear a Superman costume while driving the offroad monster.

Have an awesome new school year kids !!! and please walk to school because its healthy, not to mention you have plenty of time to drink your coffee and smoke your cigarette with your classmates.

Blogger saga starts

2009-09-13T21:46:00.005+03:00

Well here starts my blogging adventure !

Why did I chose to open a new blog ? To be honest with you I chose to get in the blogging scene because its cool to work on your own blog, it pays well, I will get a better social status , groupies, forgot the password to my previous account , and last but not least I want to meet the father of teh internets .... actually these could be good reasons to become a blogger but the truth is that I'm sick of the small notebook with hearth shaped lock which is intentionally "forgotten" on my desk in hope that somebody will read the junk I wrote in and ye old notebook cant play video's. Why English ? It would be a shame if the rest of the galaxy won't be able to read my journalistic masterpieces !
This oxymoron blog is a mix between top secret personal stuff which I would like to share with the rest of the few curious and bored readers.

Over and out